You sat there in your room, your laptop's bright screen reflecting off at you. Your lights were on, but dimmed to a tolerable level. It was already ten at night and you knew you should head to bed, but you just didn't move from your computer. You were staring at your desktop background, a calming one. Your background was a soft picture of what looked like glass orbs flouting upon a still surface of water, yet it looked as though the orbs had been moving, trickles in the water giving away the once calm surface. In a blurred background was a dimmed out rainbow, once forgotten but still visible. 

You had been staring at that picture on your laptop for several hours to the point where you even lost count. So many things drilled through your mind and you found yourself losing any type of mindset as you got lost in the picture. The orbs, suspended in time, were captivating and pulling your eyes and mind in and holding you there for what felt like forever.

Many things went through your mind, what were you going to dance with Lay and Sehun this weekend? What were you going to eat tomorrow? What was going to happen in your classes tomorrow? How would school go while you were at Tao and LuHan's? Would you be tired when you woke up? Would it be chilly or warm tomorrow? Many more things repeated themselves painfully slow through your mind, but one thought kept reappearing like the flu. Why was he so out of it today?

Almost in a dead and distracted state you closed your laptop and left for your bed, only to lay on it and stare up at the ceiling, searching for some type of answer on its white surface. You felt something in the pit of your stomach churn and it made you moan out in anger. Why can't you just know the answer? You sat up and stared at you phone on your nightstand. Would he text you tonight? Would he tell you the answer to the one thing disturbing you? Would he open up to you?

As you waited you began drifting off, waiting for that familiar ringtone and blue flashing light. Only, it never came and you didn't stay up all night waiting for it, you drifted off to sleep almost immediately. You had a soft dream, one of you and him happily chatting on the school roof, feeding each other small pieces of each other's lunch.

He sat in his room on his bed, his feet planted firmly on the floor, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together in front of him. He stared at his hands in an almost slight confusion. What was he going to say to you tomorrow? He had already decided that he was going to ask you tomorrow, he didn't want to wish on a hopeless dream if you really were already taken and he sure didn't want to continue to feel like this. His knuckles turned white as he sat there, thinking and squeezing his hands tightly.

"Maybe something like, 'I've been wondering about something... are you in relationship with Mr. Tao?'" While trying to play it out he even deepened his voice, pretending that was how he really sounded.

"Aish... that's not right..." He released his aching hands from their tight prison and grabbed his hair in a fistful.

He continued in this manner for several hours and eventually tuned out his light, laying on his bed. He stared at his blank ceiling and thought on it more. He wondered if you were thinking of him like he was thinking of you. He looked over at his phone and grabbed it, wondering if this would be easier over the phone. He opened up your messages and wrote something, pausing over the 'send' button. He looked over the message and cringed.

"Hey." It read plainly.

"Dude! Too normal, try something else!"

"Sup." He looked at it in almost disbelief.

"Are you a retard?! Something else!"

"Hello."

"My god... just stop while you're ahead."

"Hi."

"Seriously stop."

"Hey girl."

"That's so weird! Don't send that!"

"Sup ."

"Okay now that's just rude."

"Ayo wasssssuuuuupppp!"

"Now you sound like some hyperactive teenager."

"Hiya."

"Okay seriously, let's stop now before you accidentally send one."

His inner thoughts were beating up every idea he had and in the end he set his phone down, not wanting to even look at it.

"It's not good to do it over the phone anyway, isn't that how people say that guys are jerks because they broke up with the girl over the phone or something like that?" He thought for a moment.

He sat there in the dark and stared off, what if you really were in a relationship with Mr. Tao? What could he do? At the moment he wanted to go beat up Mr. Tao for even thinking of the girl he liked, but he didn't have enough evidence to do anything like that. He sat there and sighed, knowing that if his horrible thoughts were true, than he surely wasn't prepared for the thought and idea that you were with someone else. Even though he didn't want any of this, he told himself that as long as you were happy, he could live through it, whatever it was.

God he missed texting you and listening to that wonderful 'ding' of his phone every time you replied. He took in a deep breath and crawled under his covers, trying his best to go to sleep.

"If she's happy then it's okay right?" He laid there in thought, "But I'd rather be happy alongside her than being alone..."

NEXT DAY