A long sigh escaped your lips as you flopped over onto your back, your spine cracking and your legs hitting the wall next to your incredibly narrow bed. This life was tiring in every aspect. You growled a little to your phone ringing. You'd been in college for 2 months now and you were asking yourself... IS IT SO HARD TO GET SOME ALONE TIME??? You answered the phone in a mild tone of annoyance.

"Hello?"

"Unnie!" Mina cheered into the the phone and it made you produce a small smile.

"Hey squirt, what's up?"

"Nothing much, Mom is making dinner and I wanted to call you. I have somehing to tell you, but first, how are you? How is college?" She spoke quickly making you chuckle.

"Hey slow down kid... I'm pretty good, college is... well it's college. How are you? High school treating you well?" You rolled onto your side.

You heard a sigh, "It's fine, Mr. Jongin is so weird I swear to god. I'm good though, acing all my classes." You could practically hear her smile through the phone. 

"There's my girl!" You paused when you saw your roommate pull out her cello.

You loved listening to her play, it was one of your favorite things while you studied. Mina heard your pause and worried, was something eating you up inside that you couldn't tell her? Did you not want to talk to her anymore? Mina cared so much about her big sister that she worried every second of the day.

"Unnie...." She spoke nervously. 

"Hm?" 

"Your boyfriend called me..." She spoke softly.

This made you freeze. Your boyfriend... The one that's becoming an idol and told you he was really busy. The one that didn't say goodbye to you and the one that rarely ever sends you a "hey". You missed him to the point of pain but you couldn't do much, he was busy after all. College has helped you keep your mind off him and so far you have been having fun and enjoying life without worrying about him every day. 

"Oh yeah? What did he call you for?" You asked timidly, not knowing why he would call your home without mentioning anything to you.

"He called me three days ago..." She strained, "Unnie, he misses you... and he says he's sorry he's so busy and that he can't text you..." 

"OK." You couldn't say anything else as tears flowed down your cheeks, you couldn't handle this.

"He is having an event in your town tomorrow... I didn't know if I should've called you or not, that's why I'm so late in telling you. I know you've been feeling lonely without him." She tried to sympathize with you.

"Thanks Mina, you're a sweetheart."

"I just thought you should know, I don't know if you'll want to go.... but at least you know.." She sounded sad.

"Don't worry Mina, maybe I'll go and say hi, but seriously, don't worry honey." You tried to reassure her through the phone even though your tears said otherwise. 

"I'm never going to stop worrying about you unnie... But I trust in your decision to go or not. I love you." She sighed into the phone.

"I love you too angel." You hung up.

You rolled away so your roommate wouldn't see your tears, but she was smarter than that.

"How about I play you your favorite?" She asked, knowing you wouldn't want to explain or answer any questions. 

You nodded your head and she began moving her bow in a gracefully beautiful manner. She played your favorite song "Suite No. 1 In G Major" by Bach. As you wrapped your blanket closer around yourself you realized that you were feeling not only sad about the thought of seeing your boyfriend but you were lonely. You wanted to see him so bad. But seeing him meant facing something you were trying to avoid. You worried that after he became famous that he wouldn't care about you. He would look at you like you were anyone he saw on the street. He wouldn't be the boyfriend you missed and wanted to be in the embrace of so dearly. You made a decision to go. You would go, stand at the threshhold and! And....! and.... You didn't know. You didn't know what you would do once you go there. Would you just stand there and wait for himt to notice you in the crowd? Or would you take initiative and approach him? You had no clue. You cowered into your bed a little more. So many decisions to be made in such a short period of time. 

What Am I Doing Here?