The Confusion in my Heart

How It All Came To Be...

Running up the stairs left you out of breath and made you warmer as you felt a small sweat coming on. You hid around the corner for a moment, catching your breath and making your posture relaxed and cool. You didn't understand why you wanted to do these things, but you wanted to have a calm exterior as you met the stranger you've been talking to for weeks now. You took in a deep breath and slowly poked your head around the corner, glancing into the room he was told to be in. That's when you saw him, leaning over a book, his laptop off to the side, a screensaver of natural pictures floated across the screen unknown to the young man. His clear eyes read across the pages gently, like a gentle wave over the words. He looked angelic in the false light. You barely caught your breath before he looked up at you and smiled. You coughed and turned around, walking a little bit away so he didn't see your red cheeks. He walked outside the room and caught your shoulder in a gentle grasp.

"Hey!" He smiled, his cheeks a subtle pink. 

You took in a deep breath and turned around, smiling, "Hey."

"The study room is this way." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder. 

Oh yes I know it's over there.

You followed him as he walked back into the room and sat down in the seat he occupied before you startled him. Sitting across from him you quietly and slowly began taking out your things to study. Your mind was racing, wondering what to talk about, if you should just go on your phone, or if you are supposed to stay silent. People study in silence right? Before your mind could wander into another realm of how this meeting should go he spoke up. 

"How are you today? Excited to go home?" He kept writing, his eyes never leaving the page.

"Oh.. Yes, I'm good." You nodded quickly, feeling feverish all of a sudden. 

His voice felt like honey dripping into a warm cup of tea on a cold day. It warmed you through and through. It was startling, you hadn't heard such a kind tone in a while and it was making your cheeks flush again, your body warming from head to toe. You opened your book and began doing the thing you came here for. You weren't here just to get flustered by this mans voice. About 30 minutes passed by before you noticed his position shift in your peripheral gaze. He closed his eyes and stretched his arms high above his head, a small grimace coming to his face. Your eyes fixed onto his arms, the strength they showed, the muscles shifting as he stretched. Your eyes went to his closed eyes and how long his eye lashes were. You saw him crack his neck and sigh in relief. Before you knew it you were staring a long time and his eyes had since opened, staring directly into your own. For some reason you felt a pull and you couldn't pull your gaze away, you were traped in his eyes. A smile came to his lips.

"See something you like?"

That pulled you away, you shook your head and looked back at your research, reading over concepts that weren't sticking in your cluttered mind at all. You just heard him chuckle and you both continued to study away at your desks. Time passed.... and more time passed.... 

When you woke up you were being gentle shoved on the shoulder, a kind voice begging you to wake up. Your glossy eyes very slowly opened and looked up to the one waking you. Your eyes got wide as his face was very close to your own and it caused you to panic and fall backwards out of your chair. You landed on your back and let out a big sigh. 

"That hurt." You growled a little.

On the other hand he was laughing to himself, "Are you okay?"

Your sassy mood came out with being so sleepy, "Oh yeah, the floor is great. Loving it."

After righting yourself and dusting yourself off you looked at the time and saw that you had slept around 2 hours with your face stuck to your lecture book. Your reflection in the window showed a red like square on your cheek, standing out strong and proud. Sighing, you packed up all your things into your backpack, avoiding his longing gaze. You didn't know how you were feeling about this stranger. He was nice to look at, he was handsome, his voice like melted butter, his eyes alluring and pulling you in. But on the other hand you remembered your boyfriend.... That you hadn't heard from in a week... Your decision seemed clear but you didn't know. You could see the gaze Vernon gave you, but you didn't know if you should play into that. He was giving you the beginning butterflies you got from the beginning of your relationship but would you lose the guy you love for some new fluttering crush? Life was throwing a curve ball and you didn't know if you wanted to catch it or dodge it. 

*       *       *

You sighed in bed, your phone resting on your stomach. What were you to do? You missed your boyfriend but you wondered... Did he miss you the same way you missed him? Were you the only one feeling this way and just playing in his game? Was he off flirting with other girls while you stayed loyal to him? Maybe you were allowed to go a little wild without putting him first. But your heart and gut said no, your mind on the other hand wasn't trusting in a relationship you thought was holding by a string. Vernon was sweet and you liked the way he made your stomach flutter. But you didn't want to be THAT girl... You know, the one that leaves a perfectly good love just because things get a little hard. You rolled onto your stomach and let out another hard sigh. What to do.... What to do....

That's when your phone buzzed and an idea popped into your head. What if you played a little game? You know you can't play games with love but you had no choice at this point. You sent a text to Vernon and to your boyfriend. Both said the exact same thing, "Hey, wanna talk for a bit? I can't sleep". Whoever responded got your mind tonight. You would send similar texts to this one every night and after 2 weeks whoever spoke to you more obviously wanted your attention and time more. You didn't want to play games but in a life where people are playing games with you, sometimes you have to play back....

 

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St-renaissance
#1
Chapter 5: I'm so in love with this, but I wish these chapters were a bit longer.
Garrisonj #2
Chapter 139: Ugh I'm squelching can't wait for the next update....oooh what will the fans think....oh and uh first I chose hide in the croud but it didn't show on for yoongi. Have you not updated them yet orrr? But yeah I miss uuu
gabinello18 #3
Chapter 140: Unniiiee if you need help or motivation.. I am right here.
stanyou #4
Chapter 134: omg this is so good
update soooooon!!!
KpopLov772 #5
Chapter 134: Please Update my friend!!!!!! ASAP
Garrisonj #6
Chapter 134: Omg please update!!!!!
neottaemune78 #7
Chapter 131: Thanks for the update! I love the way you write this fanfic. Pls update soon ^^ i'll be waiting
Bugbug
#8
Chapter 131: Sorry I mean Update ASAP