"Hi Namjoon." You gave him a slightly strained smile. 

His jaw seemed to drop at the sight of you and he lost all focus. His entire mind filled with every little detail of you. Looking at everything he had missed. The crinkle of your skin by your eyes, the new lipstick you wore that he hadn't seen before, the small curl your hair got by your pierced ears. Were those new earrings? They made your eyes sparkle. Your skin looked smoother, maybe a new skin treatment? Was that a new top? You looked good. Namjoon was dazzled and wondering how he caught such a beauty. But the look on your face... It indicated that you weren't caught, especially not right now.

"______, I missed you." He spoke out loud and you saw everyone visibly tense up. 

Some of the other fans turned to you and gave you a slight suspicious glare, "Who are you?"

"______! We haven't seen you in so long!" Hoseok smiled, "Last time we saw you was in school, how have you been?" His eyes were pleading for you to play along.

"Yeah, you guys made it big after high school huh? I heard about you from a friend and I just had to come say hi." You smiled slightly. 

Everyone relaxed, especially the manager in the back. Namjoon blinked a couple times, realizing what he had just said and did in front of all these fans. If Hoseok hadn't saved his he would've said something that could've gotten you hurt. He couldn't believe how stupid he was. To occupy his hands and eyes he grabbed a photo card and signed it, writing a sweet little note on the back to tell you he was sorry and if you had the time to wait he'd like it if you waited after the signing for him to talk to you. 

You sighed and nodded at him and left. You leaned against a wall outside the room. You didn't even know if you wanted to wait. You didn't know if you wanted to take the time to listen to what he had to say. He hadn't said much before this, was what he was going to say so important he didn't to see you more than that embarassing five minutes of your life. You leaned against the wall for an hour and a half, thinking the same things over and over again. What could he possibly have to say to you he couldn't take five minutes to text you? Oh wait, he didn't text you. EVER. These thoughts were only fueling your anger and need to slap him. 

Your fiery thoughts were interrupted by a white lily in front of your face. It smelled lovely. You looked over and saw Namjoon holding it with a slight blush on his cheeks. You took the flower from him and smelled it again. 

"Let me guess, one of your fans gave you this?" You sighed.

"Actually I stole it from the back room." He smiled like a little boy awaiting praise. 

You shook your head and tried to hide your smile behind the flower. You could see him getting closer, then his hand was under your chin, lifting your eyes to look into his. There was something deep in his irises, something you hadn't seen before, something that made your heart pound. But you internally shook your head and put on a hard face. 

"I missed you." He smiled.

"Oh did you really?" You growled a little. 

His face flushed red at your harsh tone, "I really did." 

"Doesn't seem like you did, never heard from you." You looked away.

Namjoon felt his heart stop completely. Something was wrong with his beautiful girl and it was his fault, "I just didn't have time, I'm the leader and have more responsibillites than the others." He scratched the back of his head nevously and stepped back, withdrew into himself. 

When you were reminded that he was the leader you were still angry but you started to realize the consequences of being a leader. Dedicating time only for your fans and team and making sure everything was were it should be and making sure everything was perfect. His life seemed harder than you realized but part of yourself didn't want to give in so easily and let him think that just because you didn't think from his angle that it still didn't hurt you. 

"You never have time..." You looked into his eyes, "And it feels like you never will." 

You had just dropped one of the most difficult things to turn back from, the sudden-death statement. Namjoon stood there, heart pounding painfully and stuck in a situation he didn't know how to get out of. He stuttered and tried to find something to say. 

"Don't say anything... I know we can figure something out, but knowing us it will take some time." You sighed, trying to be the bigger person and admit that you might have been a little wrong.

"______..." He looked shocked and relieved all the same. 

"All I ask is you try... maybe just a little more... Because..." You cleared your throat and looked away, "I missed you..."

Namjoon produced a sad little smile and hugged you tightly, kissing your temple, "I promise I'll try a little harder for you my angel."

You nodded against his chest, a small sigh escaping you. Namjoon held you, told you everything he really shouldn't be and just lived for the moment, holding you close. You went home that day feeling better... to a point.

THIS COLLEGE