07-26-12

36th day in Seoul.

You could spend your whole life looking for perfect love and I promise you, you’ll never find it. It’s because love isn’t perfect, everyone’s flawed. Including you and him. But he is real. Are you sure you want to walk away from something that’s real? For a dream that may not even exist?

I cried myself to sleep. My mind has been active for the whole night, thinking about G-dragon, him ditching me and many more. I really expected yesterday to be beautiful and happy, but what happened? It ended with tears of pain once again.

I woke up with my puffy eyes and a major headache, my most unwanted combo of all time. Surprisingly, I’m not in a bad mood, but I feel crappy. I don’t know what to do once G-dragon and I see each other. Of course, he’s going to say sorry then say some reasons, do sweet things and all. I just don’t know how to react to that, especially now that I’m totally pissed off.

“Sis! Sis!” Railey called out and I dragged myself out from bed.

“What is it?” I asked and was shocked with what I saw.

G-dragon was there, sitting on the couch and he reeked of alcohol and cigarette. What a jerk! He even had the guts to show up here in that state?

“What is he doing here?” I asked, crossing my arms across my chest while staring at G-dragon.

“I was about to go out to buy something to eat…and when I opened the door…I saw him sitting on the floor…so I decided to bring him in” Railey said and I sighed.

Is he crazy? We’re not the only residents in this building, and we have neighbors. There is a huge possibility of them seeing him, sitting on the floor, drunk and all. What will they say? They might think that Big Bang’s G-dragon is a drunkard who sleeps outside of someone else’s apartment.

“What are we going to do to him?” Railey asked.

“Nothing?...we’ll let him sleep there” I said and went back to my room.

I don’t know what to do with him! And I feel ty. There’s a part of me that wants to help him and just let the whole ditching thing go down the drain and pretend nothing happened, but there’s this part in me, hating him and I’m dead pissed that I don’t care about him anymore.

“Sis!” Daryl walked in to my room and she looks like she’s having her PMS.

“What?” I sit up and looked at her.

“uhmm…you’re boyfriend is out there…drunk….and you’re just lying there and not even giving him a damn?” she said like a mom.

“Let him be…he can handle himself” I said and she grabbed my arm, forcing me to stand.

“Are you nuts? Is this the way you love a person? Sis! You should brush off whatever hate you have in there and just help him…bring him in here…wipe him clean…then you can hate him again” she said and I just stared at her.

“What? Sis! Do you know how ty a drunk person feels? Just be considerate…he drove all the way here in that state…risking his life because he knows that he’s done something wrong…C’mon! Aren’t you touched? Sis…I know that behind those s is a heart as big as those s…so please” she said with so much concern that I feel super weird about it.

I don’t know how Daryl connected my heart to my s, but what I do know is that she has a point. I should’ve help him and make him comfortable. I know that it take so much effort to come here and drive drunk so, OK, G-dragon really owes Daryl for this.

“Fine!” I stood up and went to the living room.

“GUYS! HELP!” I called out to the girls.

“He’s thin but he’s so damn heavy” Daryl said and we laughed.

I didn’t even know how Railey brought him in, he’s really drunk, I’m telling you. We already called ourselves the next Xena.

“Can you manage already?” Daryl asked when we laid him down in bed.

“Yep…thanks!” I said.

“Just call us if you need some help” Railey said and I nod, then they went out of the room.

Now, how am I going to clean him up? Gosh! This is so hard and awkward. I have to wipe him and all, but how? ! Whatever!

“Why do you have to do this to me Kwon Jiyong?” I talked like a crazy person. He’s drunk! How will he answer?

“mmm”

OK. He did hear me. I went to the bathroom, got a clean towel, soaked it in cold water and went out. I took a deep breath first before removing his shirt. Damn! This is really, weird?

After wiping his face, arms and body, I removed his belt and stopped for a while. Am I even allowed to do this? Isn’t this a bit embarrassing to clean a guy from the waist down?

“Guys! I have a question!” I called out from the living room.

“What?” Daryl asked.

“Do I have to clean him from the waist down?” I asked shyly and I felt my cheeks burn.

“Yes…for him to freshen up and to release heat!” Railey said and I looked at them in disbelief.

“Is that even legal? Can’t I just leave him like that? He’s already clean from waist up” I told them and they laughed.

“It is slightly legal! Want us to do it? That will be totally illegal!” Daryl answered and they laughed.

“No…I think I can manage it” I said and head towards my room.

What the heck will I do now? I slowly removed his pants and when it’s already out of the way, I started wiping his legs. Gosh! G-dragon in his Galliano boxers in 110% hotter than G-dragon in his white V-neck shirt.

After cleaning him, I covered his body with duvet and let him sleep as I went to the bathroom to get ready for work. When I was done, I checked on him and he was sleeping soundly while hugging a teddy bear. I even nearly dressed up in front of him, forgetting that he was there. So, I went to the bathroom and dress up there instead.

“OH! Baby girl” he said when he saw me coming out of the bathroom.

“What?” I asked in a pissed tone.

“I’m sorry” he said and sat up.

“OUCH!” he shrieked holding his head.

“Wait here…I’ll get you some medicine” I stood up and went out of the room to get some Advil.

“Here” I gave him the medicine and a glass of water.

Silence filled the room and it’s getting awkward by the minute. He’s sitting at the edge of my bed while watching me put my accessories and fixing my hair. If silence can kill, we’re already dead.

“Baby girl….I’m really sorry” he said, breaking the silence while I continue with what I’m doing.

“Hey…I’m sorry…I got caught up…it’s my friend’s birthday yesterday and he invited me…I told him that I’ll just stay for an hour but…I lost track of the time…I’m sorry” he came near me and hugged me by the neck from the back, resting his chin at the top of my head.

“You should’ve called me” I said coldly.

“My phone ran out of battery” he said and I rolled my eyes at him.

“That’s a good excuse Jiyong” I stood up, breaking the hug and went out of the room.

Am I being childish? Are my actions wrong? I just can’t take his reason and it’s not easy to forget everything in just a simple sorry.

“Sis…we’re going to the off