This may not be the perfect time to tell her about love or relationships after hearing her talk about how she was broken in the past. After hearing her story, I saw a different ___________. Weeks ago, she’s this cool, fashionista and independent girl who has a strong personality. But now, I see her as a girl who knows how to love but is afraid to be hurt, who was wounded by love and up until now those wounds are not yet healed.

Even though I’m having second thoughts on whether to tell her about my feelings or not, I’ve already decided to say it now. I don’t want to be like the guy that she had loved before who didn’t take a risk and ended up hurting _________. Whatever happens after this, at least she’s aware of my feelings.

“Are you by any chance….open….to be in a relationship?” I finally asked. I’m trying my best not to be that obvious.

“….there are times that I feel like I’m not…but as time goes by….I’m getting older…and knowing that I haven’t had any boyfriend feels a bit weird….but….I think I can try?” she told me. I can feel that she isn’t a 100% sure on whether she is ready to be in a relationship or what, but I still have to try.

“If someone confess his love to you….will…you….consider it?” OK. I know I said that I’m trying not to be so obvious, but with this question, I think I already gave myself up.

“Maybe? It actually depends on the guy….if he can wait and all…you know that it’s not easy to just decide…and with the things that’s been going on with my life right now….my work has been eating most of my time…I don’t know” she said. I think I can wait just don’t let it be too long.

“Yes….if he can wait and if I can see that he is persistent….then….he can say that I am his” she answered. OK. Jiyong, what you need to have is patience. .

So, she is not yet ready to be in a relationship but is thinking of being in one. It may sound confusing but I will try my best to understand. I haven’t told her yet, but why do I have this feeling that I will be dumped or something? I don’t want that to happen, not with all the effort that I make and with these strong feelings that I have. Honestly, I am afraid that once I already told her everything, she will ignore me for the rest of my life or our newly developed friendship will just end even before it starts.

“Just spit it out Kwon Jiyong….you’re freaking me out once again” she said impatiently. Fine! I’ll say it. After all, this is the real reason why we’re here. AISH!

“FINE! I LIKE YOU _________....NO WAIT….I LOVE YOU SO MUCH” I finally said it. Whew! After so many weeks of keeping it to myself and struggling to hide it, at last! I’ve said it.

I cannot explain her expression, of course she is shocked, but there’s more and I can’t picture it. I’m dead nervous as my hands were shaking and my body felt cold. She’s only looking at me in disbelief and she’s obviously speechless. Jiyong, you need to say something? To back up what you said awhile ago? AISH! How can this be so hard?

“I LOVE YOU….I don’t know how it happened but all I know is that…from the first time I saw you…I can’t take my eyes and mind off of you…you give me this feeling that I need to take care of you….you’re really special to me ________....and I can wait…even if it takes forever” I poured all my heart into that explanation, wishing that she felt my sincerity and in one way or another, have appreciated my little speech.

I know that a kiss may be a little too fast, but I can’t help it. Yes, I kissed her and she was caught off guard. It was a swift move and she doesn’t have time to react. What shocked me is that she just let me do it, she didn’t even pushed me or struggled. Of course it was awkward, especially now that she already knows that I love her and all. My heart felt so light and happy. I don’t care if she didn’t consider me yet, but I know in time she will. YOU DID IT KWON JIYONG!

After the confession and the kiss, we have decided to go back to the hotel for it was already late and I know that if we stay there much longer, the atmosphere will be much more awkward which is not a good thing.

On the way to the hotel, it was more awkward and silent. Once again, her random music fills the air and along with that goes my happy and in-love heart. We walked through the lobby, rode the elevator and to the hall holding hands and smiling. I grabbed her hand while walking actually.

I was sad when we reached our floor and went in front of our doors for it only means that, the day is already over and maybe later, things will change or I won’t be able to talk to her again because she will be ignoring me or something. I know, I’m thinking negatively, but I can’t help it.

‘See you late Mr. Kwon” Seriously, when she said that, I already want to ask her hand for marriage. I’m not over reacting, I’m serious!