November 24, 2017

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be. If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not the heart. Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.

It’s November 24th which means tomorrow will be our first wedding anniversary and here I am, miles away from my husband and kids. How good is that? Well, I already wanna go home and I’ve been very vocal to the girls about it but I guess luck is not really on my side because this seminar is really important for the magazine and I still have clients to talk to.

Gosh! I miss my family already! Two days of not seeing them is pure torture to me and I’m still worried about my husband for he is the only one left in the house and I’m actually imagining him being frantic because the girls are crying or having a meltdown.

I was able to talk to G-dragon and Isabella yesterday and I swear! The moment I hanged up, I just found myself crying inside the car on the way to the seminar. Oh well, I guess this is really normal but I’m so sure that I’ll never get used to being away to them.

“Sis! Wake up!” Daryl said while shaking my shoulder.

“What time is it?” I asked lazily.

“It’s already 6am…we need to be at the hall by 7” she said and I immediately sat up and looked at her in disbelief.

“What?” I asked.

“Oh my! Don’t tell me that you already forgot about your talk later?” she asked and I gasp.

Oh shoot yes! It’s the second day of the seminar and I’m scheduled to have a talk later. It really is hard for me because I have this major stage fright and talking in front of so many people is really ty but because I was chosen to be one of the speakers, I don’t have a choice but to all my shyness up and just do what I have to do. Please! Someone rescue me!

“I’m really shaking because of nervousness…I don’t how what to do!” I said while shaking her by the shoulders.

“Gosh! Here goes your ty nerves once again…sis…just enjoy it…talk as if you’re talking to your alien friends…don’t think about the people…just say your piece” she said and I shook my head.

“I don’t think that I can do this…I mean…look…I’ll be in line with the best editors all around Asia…that’s really enough to give me a nervous breakdown” I said and she laughed.

“uhmmm…excuse me…your counted as one of Asia’s best madam…you will not be standing on that stage if you weren’t” she said.

“I’m afraid that I might and mess up on stage…that will be a total embarrassment for the magazine and for my family as well” I said.

“Y’know what? If Jiyong is hearing you right now…I’m sure he’s going to just laugh it off and tease you” she said and I sighed.

Truth is, my husband didn’t even know that I’ll be talking on stage and I’m a nominee for the best magazine editor for this year. I know that I don’t have a chance on that award for I’m fighting with big names in this industry, but I’m proud because at least I got nominated.

“If I were you? I’m going to call Jiyong and just let him talk me out of nervousness” she suggested and I really think that it’s a good idea.

OK. I’m going to call G-dragon and I will tell him all my worries for me to lighten up a bit. I know that it’s still early and he’s still in deep sleep but I really need some talk right now and I wish that he can entertain me.

His phone is ringing non-stop and I’ve called him for a hundred times already but he’s not answering at all.

“mmmm”

Gosh! Finally he answered!

“Babe!” I called cheerfully.

“mmmm”

“Babe…I’m sorry to wake you up but I really need to talk to you” I said sweetly and I heard him clear his throat.

“What’s it about?” he asked lazily.

“Well…I’m going to have a talk later and I’m really nervous about it” I said and it took him a long time to respond.

“What is it again? Sorry babe…I’m still not in my right mind” he said and I rolled my eyes

“I said….I’m going to have a talk later and I’m really nervous about it” I repeated.

“Talk?” he asked.

“Yes….I’m one of the guest speakers for this event and I swear! I’m already freaking out here….I don’t even know how to deal with it” I said and he gave out a laugh.

“Babe…remember that you’re a Kwon…this is only a piece of cake for you” he joked.

“Yes…I am a Kwon…but I don’t share the same blood…this freaking stage fright is killing me already…I want to go home now…as in…NOW” I said and he laughed once again.

“Aigoo…my wife is being childish once again…babe…just do what you have to do…if you mess up…so what? There’s always room for improvement…if you forget a line or a sentence…just laugh it off” he told me coolly.

“I’m already there babe but…you can’t blame me…I’m this one heck of a shy girl who is trying to be social but deep inside…she’s much more shy that what she thinks….get me?” I asked.

“No…but what I get is that…you’re going to be fine Mrs. Kwon…. happens…and I know so well that you’re used to that happening…so this will just be an easy thing for you” he said and I smiled.

His confidence in me is really high and I’m thankful that little by little his words of encouragement are helping me.

“Babe…I still have one more thing to say” I said.

“Wait…is Alfie bugging you again?” he asked with a scary tone and I smirked.

Well, Alfie is here and he’s been trying to get my attention for one whole day yesterday and he’s totally annoying!

“He is here…but I’m not even thinking of talking to him or getting near him” I said and he smirked.

“OK…if it’s not him…what do you want to say?” he asked.

“Actually…I’ve hide this secret from you for a week already” I said and there is no response from his end.

“Babe?” I tried getting his attention.

“Are you pregnant again?” he asked after a long silence and I laughed so hard.

“NO! I’m not! Jiyong…I just gave birth months ago….Gabriella isn’t even talking yet” I answered and he laughed.

“OK….OK…chill babe” he said.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Well…I’m nominated in the national magazine awards for best editor!” I said.

“REALLY? Babe! How come you didn’t tell me? Congratulations!  I want to be there when you win” he said and I laughed.

“Babe… I don’t want to expect…I mean…I’m competing with elite names in the magazine industry…they are pioneers so I don’t really have a chance” I told him and he smirked.

“Why are you so negative? I just feel bad that you’re gonna walk on the red carpet without me” he said and I suddenly felt sad.

“Babe…I know that you’re busy with your concert rehearsals…you can watch it through live broadcast tomorrow evening” I said.

“Fine…I’ll just watch you win and celebrate all by myself here at home” he said in a serious tone and I chuckled.

“Gosh babe! You’re making me guilty!” I said and he laughed.

“I’m excited…really…I’m so proud of you…I love you” he said and it made me smile from ear to ear.

“I love you too babe…I love you so much!” I replied.

After that talk, I already feel fine and I’m ready to face the people. I know that G-dragon will always support me and even though he’s not here to watch, I know that he’s heart is here with me (OK, that’s another cheesy line).

What will I wear? Gosh! I’m totally stressed out just by choosing an outfit. The girls told me that black don’t look good on stage and I have to wear light colored clothes because it can uplift the audiences’ mood. Fine! I’m going to take their advice.

“Sis! Are you all set?” Railey asked when she walked in my room.

“How do I look?” I asked.

“Gosh! I can’t believe that you’re already a mum of two!” she said and we laughed.

The moment we arrived at the seminar hall, the organizer called me for a short briefing. Once again, my nerves are shooting up to the heavens and I’m totally blocking out. My mind is blank and I’m shaking BIG TIME!

“Sis…just relax OK?” Daryl said and I sighed.

“Don’t think about it…I’m so sure that you’re going to rock the stage later” Railey said and I smiled at her.

After waiting for everybody to arrive, we all settled down and I’m shaking with nervous