07-07-12

18th day in Seoul.   1st day in Jeju.

I have no power over things. I can’t tell my heart what to do. I can’t teach my mind to not contradict with my heart. If ever my mind and heart will unite, will I have the courage to tell him what I feel?

It feels like I haven’t slept at all. I kept on tossing and turning trying my hardest to sleep, but I failed. When my alarm rang, I felt like tying myself in bed for I know, that alarm means that I have to get my lazy and anxious ready for I’ll be going to Jeju Island with G-dragon for 3 days.

It was an unexpected trip. I was just informed yesterday, packed everything I need few hours before the trip and wasn’t emotionally and mentally ready yet.

While I was taking a bath, a lot of things came to mind. Like, what will I do there? OK, I’m gonna follow and document him while working, maybe spend some time with him and the staffs off work, then what? Of course, I know that there are limitations with all these following and documenting and I’m quite sure that he will be resting during his free time and I can’t disturb him. Whatever! I’ll just figure it out there.

My magazine staffs said that Jeju Island is really a beautiful place and since its summer here in Korea, I can go to beaches and swim, which is great for I’m already missing the water and swimming.

I chose to wear my Rebel Yell shirt, Sass and Bide pants, Gucci belt and matched it with my Jimmy Choo sandals, Marc Jacobs bag and Gucci sunglasses. I also did my hair with light curls and put NO make-up on. Of course, I know that we’ll be dealing with a lot of fans and photographers later at the airport. Speaking of fans and media, I still don’t have any clue on how will we deal about them. The rumors between me and G-dragon aren’t done yet and according to them, it will still last for a few months. 

Chin ho arrived a little early and I haven’t said my goodbyes to the girls yet, so I wrote them something on post its and stick it on the fridge so that they’ll be able to see it once they wake up. I grabbed my things and gave it to Chin ho, and we drove off to the airport already.

As expected, the airport is filled with fans to think that it’s still early in the morning. I asked Chin ho on how I will go inside the airport, without creating any chaos and being recognized. He said that I will be escorted by guards to the check in area and the rest of the crew will be there as well. I was also informed that my secretary, Cho hee will be going with me in Jeju as well. I felt relieved upon hearing that, at least I know that I’m not gonna be alone in this trip and I have someone to talk to whenever I’m bored.

Cho hee was already at the waiting area when I arrived. I’m really thankful to President YG for letting her go with me. The YG staffs and crew are already there as well, and I greeted each one of them.  I scanned the area and it seems that G-dragon isn’t here yet. I’m really careful not to get noticed by people or recognized by fans (I really don’t want