I don’t know what to do. She’s still breathing but I don’t think she will last. I’m scared, I don’t want to go to jail, Jiyong would probably go mad once he sees his wife in this situation. No. I don’t want him to get mad at me, I love him, I’m doing all of this for him. I have to think of a way to get out of here, but what will I do with her? She’s already holding on for dear life, I don’t want her to die in front of me, in my house and in my hands.

“LAUREN! OPEN UP!”

“OPEN UP! _________! I KNOW THAT YOU’RE THERE! BABE!”

How? She came here alone right? How did they know that she’s here? What will I do now? I don’t have anywhere to go to, I don’t want to be caught.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

This day started badly but went so good. Up to now, we’re still dealing with our problems with Lauren and she’s now using my daughter. I don’t know what did I do to her that makes her want me so much, she’s just a girl that I met in a club and we didn’t even had any relationships before. We did played a little but she knows so well that I don’t love her.

I’m still working even if I’m being showered with rumors. I admit, my career is really on the verge of falling down right now because of all the controversies, but I’m still trying to keep it running. It’s been hours and I’m stuck here in the studio, I miss my daughters and wife already. I’m so used with having my kids around whenever I work and even the members are missing them, especially my oldest daughter Isabella.

“Jiyong-ah! Are you alright?” Teddy hyung asked.

“I don’t know…I’m feeling nervous all of a sudden” I answered.

“Go out first!” he said and I obeyed.

I feel so weird. I feel like someone is telling me that something bad will happen. AISH! I don’t want to be negative and I don’t even want to think that something bad will happen to anyone that I love.

“You look pale hyung” Daesung said when I sat beside him on the couch.

“Really?” I asked and bit my lip.

“Yah! If you’re sick…we can just let you off already…just go here early tomorrow so that we can finish your back-ups” Teddy hyung said and I shook my head.

“I’m fine…after all…_______ is still working…and she will go home late today…I’ll wait for her” I said.

“Aigoo…you’re really superman!” TOP hyung said and we all laughed.

“aaa…hyung…you’re teasing me again…you should really get a wife already so that you can understand me” I said and he smirked.

“I will…in time” he said and we all laughed.

Our recordings went out smoothly after that but my heart is still beating really fast and my mind is just so out of work. Something is bugging me but I can’t point out what it is. I called Omma to check on the kids and she told me that both of them are in deep sleep and they’re fine. My wife on the other hand is just in her office so I’m so sure that she’s safe.

“Hyung…I’ve been noticing…you’re really thinking so deep since this afternoon” Seungri said while we’re having dinner.

“I don’t know but…I’ve been really uneasy and nervous all of a sudden” I said.

“Hyung…I know that you’re going through a lot right now…but please…be strong…don’t think about it and just laugh it off…after all…all of the rumors are just made up by Lauren…none of them are true” he said and I smiled at him and nod.

I’m trying to brush all our problems in my mind and just let it be fixed by time, but as days go by, people are reacting differently already. At first they were hating me for cheating on my wife, some even called me and idiot and a jerk but now, all the sympathy is on me and they are mad at ________ already. I asked for YG hyung’s permission if I can release an official statement about the recent issues and he permitted me, I’ll do an interview as well to contradict Lauren’s interview awhile ago. I don’t want my wife to be involved in this because I’m so sure that once her parents sees her in front of the camera defending me, they will say that I’m using her to cover me up and I don’t want my in-laws to hate me more.

“Jiyong…I think you should at least take a day off…take your family on a trip to somewhere...you know…to get away from all this” Teddy hyung said.

“Actually hyung…______ and I are planning to leave the country for good once our Japan album promotions end…I already talked to YG hyung about this and he also thinks that it’s a good idea” I said.

“That’s really sad…I’m sure that I’ll cry…but if you’re going to ask me…that’s a good plan…after all…you’re both settled…money is not a problem cause you still get a lot” he joked and I laughed

“I just want my kids to grow up away from the public’s eye hyung…they’re too precious to be feasted upon” I told him and he nod.

“I’m really amazed by how fast you matured Jiyong…you’re one great dad…not to mention…a good husband” he said.

“AISH! Why are we on a serious talk anyway?” he asked and I laughed.

I’m thankful that everybody here in YG supports my decision to retire, I know that it’s not going to be easy for me coz I’ve live almost all my life in this business, the four walls of this building have witnessed my pain and victories, the people here are like family to me and it’ll be really hard to leave and say goodbye to the fans that has been with me through all my ups and downs. But what can I do? I am already a family man, I have to take care of my three angels and if this is the only way to give them a happy and peaceful life, I will definitely leave whatever I have.

“Hyung…I’m so sure that you’ll miss me once you leave” Seungri said and I punched his arm.

“OMO! I’m not leaving yet…don’t act like that” I said.

I’ll really miss my members, the four guys whom I shared my life with for so many years. I’m so sure that there will come a time where I’ll come back and form Big Bang once again.

“Oh! I’ll go to YG hyung first...excuse me” I excused myself from them and went to meet YG hyung.

We’re already in the process of suing Lauren for all the things that she’s been doing for the past few weeks and I’m ready to fight with her even in court. I can’t understand where her confidence came from, she’s not even the biggest model here in Korea but she can influence quite a lot of people. It’s already clear to me that she’s using my name and fame to go up to that high mark and I find it really pathetic.

“Hyung”

“Oh! Sit down” YG hyung said.

“Where’s Isabella?” he asked.

“The kids are with Omma and Appa…they borrowed them for today” I answered and he chuckled.

“Jiyong-ah! I’m going to tell you the truth...Lauren’s new made-up story is really hitting that popularity mark…a lot of people are already convinced that Isabella is not yours…we’ve been monitoring and blocking pictures and articles but of course….we can’t stop all of it from spreading” he said and I smirked.

“I’m actually worried about ________ hyung…I saw how affected she was when she read about those articles…I know that it’s hard to be judged by people most especially…she’s not even doing anything to them…I know that she’s just pretending that she’s fine but deep inside her she’s breaking” I said.

“I know that this is really hard for her but just hold on Jiyong…stay by her side all the time…this will