11-04-12

138th day in Seoul.

A real man, the kind of woman wants to give her life to, is one who will respect her dignity, who will honor her like the valuable treasure she is. A real man will not attempt to rip her precious pearl from its protective shell or persuade her with charm to give away her treasure prematurely but he will wait patiently until she willingly gives him the prize of her heart. A real man will cherish and care for that prize forever.

I woke up crying, I don’t know why but I just burst out crying. G-dragon is not beside me when I woke up and I’m thankful that he’s not there for I know he will go crazy once he sees me in that condition. I feel heavy and sad for no reason at all and I’m quite worried about it. Am I going to experience something bad this day? Am I going to hear something that I don’t wanna hear?

I started my day with a prayer, it’s my own way to lighten my feelings. I don’t have work today but I’m planning to go to the girls’ apartment to bond and breathe a different air. Last month is really fun, our trip to Japan is something to remember forever! I’ve met Kiko and she’s really a wonderful person, she’s not only beautiful outside but her heart is really soft as well. I feel like I’ve known G-dragon in a different degree now because of her.

Well, G-dragon and I are enjoying each other’s company and we are slowly learning how to work on this secret relationship we are in to. Fights and arguments are still there but it was lessen to 20% now, I’m also getting over my miscarriage 2 months ago and I’m really happy for that.

*let’s hear it for my boyfriend….let’s hear it for my boyfriend*

“Hello?” I answered.

“Baby girl!” G-dragon said cheerfully.

He’s rehearsing for their Big Show Concert next month and it’s been eating up all his time that he goes home so late every day. Whenever he’s awake I’m already asleep and whenever I’m awake he’s sleeping. We’re already used to it or better say, we’re forcing ourselves to get used to it.

“Hey! I miss you! You didn’t wake me up” I told him and he chuckled.

“You’re in deep sleep baby girl…I don’t want to disturb you” he said in a sweet tone and I can’t help but smile.

“Why did you call?” I asked.

“Nothing…I just want to hear your voice....do you want to watch us rehearse? I really want to see you…awake” he said and I laughed.

“OK…I’ll go there but I have to go to the girls’ apartment first…I promised them that I’ll visit today” I said.

“Alright…be careful OK? Bring the car if you want” he said.

He’s letting me drive by myself already and I’m planning to buy my own car really soon.

“OK” I answered.

“Call me once you arrive…see you later! Love you!”  he said.

“Love you too...see you later!” I replied and he hanged up.

OK. So I’ve got a lot to do today. Bond with the girls and be a supportive girlfriend, Great!

I’m excited, the girls went home to visit their families last week and they’ve just arrived yesterday. I’m really jealous because they were given a break from work while I’m working my off because of the online magazine. I can’t wait to hear their stories.

I decided to prepare and get ready for my fun day by having a soothing and relaxing bubble bath. And since I’m in the mood to dress up, I chose to wear my Kokoon blouse, Theory shorts, Stuart Weitzman boots and matched it with Dp Mr. Chain bag and Openwork earrings. I tied my hair in a messy bun and I’m off!

When I arrived at the apartment, Railey is already awake and she is doing her articles for next month’s issue (she’s also into writing now and her column is one of the most popular among readers).

“Sis! Oh my! You gained weight!” I shouted upon seeing her.

“Gosh! I’ve been pigging out for a week…mum’s really crazy about my…according to her…”frail” looking body…so she lets me eat and eat…how are you boss?” she said and I laughed.

“I’m good…I’m surviving the all the pressure and stress…I want to go home too!” I whined and she laughed.

“It feels really different…did you know that I can’t sleep in my own bed? I mean…I’ve slept on that bed for years and when I came back…my body is looking for my Korean bed…weird” she said.

“Oh well…that’s really normal…so...how was your vacation? Did you visit our company?” I asked excitedly.

“YES! They miss you so much and they want you to come back already…they’re struggling in the hands of their new creative director…according to them…the new creative director is ty as hell” she said and I laughed.

“That’s so touching…how I wish I can go back” I told her and she nod.

“And they’re asking me about you and Jiyong…of course I can’t tell them the truth” she said and I pout.

“I really want to go home! I suddenly missed everybody there” I said and she patted my shoulders.

“Wait…where’s Daryl?” I asked.

“Well…she’s with Bryan” she said and I smirked.

“What? Are you serious?” I asked and she nod.

“She said that she’s going to talk to Bryan heart to heart…she really wants to clear everything up” she said and I hissed.

“That guy is an ! Why is she going gaga over him? I will really kick that ’s later when she arrives” I said with a little anger in my voice.

“We can’t do anything about it…you know Daryl…she will do whatever it takes to get what she wants and she will not listen to us…her dad is actually setting her up for a blind date when we were there and did you know what she did?” Railey said while laughing.

“What?” I asked.

“She showed up drunk during their date…of course the guy immediately said no to her and uncle is really angry at her right now that he told Daryl to just live here in Korea for good” she said and we laughed.

Daryl is really a crazy daughter, she grew up with her dad and she’s really spoiled but her dad is really pushing her to get married already. I just can’t understand why she’s pushing herself to Bryan, that guy has cheated her and even played with her weeks ago, he’s a moron.

Railey told me about her trip home and I really envy her. I want to visit my parents as well and I’m dying to see everyone there. I know that it’s impossible for me to go home now because of my job and my boyfriend, that’s why I’m just dreaming about it.

When Daryl arrived, she’s dead pissed and she is really exploding in anger. I know that Railey and I are up to some serious talk again and once Daryl started crying, that’s when we realized that it’s more than just a simple talk, it’s going to be an intense serious talk.

“What’s the matter? What did Bryan do to you?” I asked while rubbing her back.

“HE IS A TOTAL DOUCHE BAG! I HATE HIM!” Daryl shouted, shocking me and Railey.

“What happened?” Railey asked and she started crying again.

“He’s got a freaking girlfriend already…worst is…she’s one of our models…and he’s telling me that he loves me” she said in between sobs.

“What an idiot! He’s really going to get it from me tomorrow” Railey said and I chuckled.

“You know what? Forget him…start looking for a guy who is better than him…don’t get stuck with that kind of person…you don’t deserve him….AT ALL!” I said and she cried even more.

“______ I love him…I just can’t throw him away and get a new one…it’s so ing hard and I’m totally screwed up…I don’t know what to do” she said and I hugged her.

“Sis…sometimes…you have to let go of the people