November 8, 2016

Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental. Do you even put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well, that’s what love is like. Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going.

I’m anxious! Totally anxious of what might happen later. I know that my family will once again be reunited but this time, G-dragon and Isabella will already know their roles to each other. I still have fears though, I’m still afraid of so many things. I kept telling myself that once the worst thing starts, I just have to it up and try fixing it. After all, this mess started with my stupid decision anyway.

Yesterday’s reunion is totally awkward and it actually felt like we’re just exes and that’s it. I know that he still have feeling for me and I hope that my instincts are right because if he’s going to tell me that he’s got a new relationship already, I might literally die in front of him.

“MUM! MUM! G-DARGON! G-DARGON!” Isabella came in to the room running.

“MUM! G- DARGON! G-DARGON!” she grabbed my hand and started pulling me.

“Baby girl…it’s still early…30 minutes more and mum’s waking up already” I told her lazily but she just ignored me.

“MUM! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!”  she continued and since I’m already awake and I’m sure that  I’ll be having a hard time sleeping again, I sat up and stared at my weirdly excited daughter.

“Why do you keep on shouting G-dragon’s name?”  I asked curiously while pulling me to stand.

Seriously, Isabella’s acting weird. I think she still have a hangover about their unexpected meeting yesterday that’s why she still keeps on mentioning her dad’s name.

“COME! COME!” Isabella pulled me again and I stood up.

“Fine” she dragged me out of my room and I swear! I’m still a total mess and I haven’t checked my appearance in the mirror.

“G-DARGON!” Isabella shouted like she’s announcing some lottery winner.

It took me a minute to absorb what I’m seeing. Yes, it was indeed the father of my child sitting on the couch with a wide smile on his face. Isabella ran to him and sat on his lap and it made me melt. What’s happening? Is this even normal? They don’t know each other well and knowing my daughter, she’s not the kind of person who will trust a total stranger right away. Well, he’s not a stranger but still, they just met yesterday. Why do they look so close and well bonded?

“Good….mor…ning?” I greeted him awkwardly.

“Good morning” he greeted back and I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw my I-just-woke-up hair with my bloated face and super daring jammies.

OK. Here we go again. I’m dressed in a tank top and knickers and my legs are so bare and my cheeks are almost showing and I can see that G-dragon has examined every inch of me already.

“I’m going to change first” I said and the girls chuckled.

“SIS! When did you get shy in front of Jiyong?” Railey asked and I rolled my eyes at her.

“Gosh! You’re totally weird! Don’t act as if he hasn’t seen what’s underneath those clothes” Daryl said and G-dragon gave out a laugh and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Guys! Fine! I’ll just go to the kitchen and make something for Isabella” I said and head to the kitchen as fast as I can.

I don’t know what to do anymore! What is he doing here in the first place? I mean, why would he bother to drive for an hour just for nothing? And it’s just 7am, it’s super not him to wake up so early.

“Sis! We are just going out for a while” Railey said when she came in the kitchen followed by Daryl.

“WHAT? You’re gonna leave me alone?” I asked and they giggled.

“Sis…why are you so conscious of a lot of things? I mean…I’m sure Jiyong is here to see you…and somehow he’s here to know something about Isabella…I actually think that he already felt that she’s his daughter” Daryl said and I looked at her, worried.

“You think?” I asked nervously.

“I have a strong feeling that he might be expecting that he’s the father…and sis…I thought you’re gonna tell him the truth anyway? So what’s the difference of telling it now and telling it later?” Railey asked and I shrugged.

“You know what? You have to loosen up…you’re too awkward and it’s really obvious that you’re hiding something” Daryl said.

“But…I’m not yet in the right condition to tell it to him…I still have no guts right now” I said and they chuckled.

“You want some Vodka? We have a bottle in the fridge” Railey said while opening the fridge.

“I’m serious! I don’t know how to start” I told them.

“Start with asking how is he…then from there inject small details of it…but if he starts asking you questions about Isabella…that’s your cue to tell him everything” Daryl said and my mind is about to explode already.

“Fine! I don’t know” I said.

“Sis…you can do it…just think of Isabella and her right to know the truth” Railey said while hugging my arm.

“Just don’t be too mushy in front of your daughter...and most especially…don’t make out in front of her” Daryl said and I laughed.

“As if I’m going to kiss him” I said and she smirked.

“I can feel that you two are so hungry for each other…your ual aura is overloading…I can feel it” she said and I slapped her arm playfully.

“Just it up! You can do it! We’ll be back in a while” Railey said and I waved goodbye to them.

This is so great! I’m left alone with my daughter and her father. Gosh! I never thought that this will happen so early and I’m not yet ready to be so emotional. I know that I should be calm and honest about everything, after all, G-dragon deserves the truth.

I made pancakes and sausages for the three of us and I swear! I put a lot on effort on this one. I want to show G-dragon that I can cook well already. I’m still in a nerve wreck but I have no choice, it’s now or never.

Once I finished everything, I prepared the table and took a deep breath. OK. Here we go, I’m about to spit it out. OH GOSH! Can somebody help me!

“Jiyong? Isabella? Breakfast is ready!” I called out from the dining area and they both looked at me with the same expression on their face.

Gosh! Now I know why they say that Isabella is totally like her dad, they have the same facial expressions and it’s totally freaky.

“I don’t want to eat yet” Isabella whined while holding G-dragon’s phone.

“Baby girl…you have to eat...you can continue playing later” I bend to her level and she looked at me with her oh-please-don’t-force-me look.

“Isabella? You’re mum’s right…c’mon! Let’s eat first then after breakfast we will play again…OK?” G-dragon told her and she smiled at him and nod.

So my convincing power is already defective? Oh gosh! I can already feel that Isabella will be a total Daddy’s girl.

“Wow! You made this? Really?” G-dragon said while settling on his seat.

“Yes Mr. Kwon…I’m already a cooking master” I told him and he laughed and Isabella imitated him even though she doesn’t know what we’re talking about.

“And you Ms. Isabella…why are you laughing at mum?” I asked and she laughed so loud.

“Here’s the syrup” I gave it to G-dragon and he’s not even getting it from me.

OK. So he’s waiting for me to pour him some syrup. After three years, he still haven’t changed at all!

“Here you go” I poured syrup on his pancakes and Isabella elbowed me and when I looked at her she smiled at me widely.

“Baby girl? What’s with the smile?” I asked her and she just laughed.

So this is how it feels when you’re with two weird people. Isabella kept on singing while eating and even though I don’t tolerate that, I’ll just let her do whatever she likes since I can see that G-dragon is enjoying it.

“Gosh! You’re one mean eating machine! You ate three pancakes!” I said to my daughter and she giggled.

“High five!” G-dragon reached out his hand and Isabella kneeled o