B#5 | Dear Diary, This House Is Chaos | W3ntchuuKrown

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poster

Title

Author

Characters

Category

Genre

Status

Dear Diary, This House Is Chaos

W3ntchuuKrown

Jihye (OC), BTS

B*G

Comedy, Family, Sitcom, Fluff

Ongoing (7 Chap)

Description

A diary written by a sister with seven annoying brothers and how she deals with them.

 
 

Title


he story tittle is acceptable and it does relevant with the story flow . Mostly the word 'chaos' explain how the story flows .Somehow some readers may find this tittle a boring but it is not a big problem . It depends on how readers take the tittle and story seriously or not.

Descr.&Forew.


The description of the story is probably fine just like what we used to write in our diary. The foreword and description is not that catchy enough for the readers to take a look of the story but you can still change and add a little intresting moments to it to make it more catchy and intrested to be read by the reasers. No majors spelling or grammars errors , for better improvement , I would recommend you to find a beta reader to check for the errors.

Graphics


The poster gives out a cute and lively vibe , with those colourful clours and gifs pictures , which matches the story well so does the background of the story. I'm not a graphic designer which they can tell you more about it , but you can ask for a graphic reviews from some graphic reviews for advice

Char. Dev.


The characters of the story is well portrayed but you can still make the character more intresting. The main character "Jihye" , she's well portrayed , but you can still add in more intresting characteristics or feature about her. Mainly , I do think only Jihye and Jungkook stands out the most in the story . If you're planning to make all the BTS members the main characters of the story , do add in more feature/moments with the main girl character "Jihye" so they will stands out more .

 

Appearance


The font you used in the story is just right for the readers who's using the computer , but it will be a little small for the readers who's using the mobile to read the story . Anyway , it's not really a big problem that affect much , just change to a little larger font , for example font between "16 to 20" will be the best . The paragraph is not too long and it's structured clearly where readers get to follow the storyline and how it flows well .

SBC

Orgin.&Plot


The story is well written . It gives out the cheerful , comedy-liked and family bond vibe . The story isn't cliche and readers mainly get to feel the siblings bond between them for exmaple " Jihye and her brother , Jin , a nice and close relationship they're having.

 

Flow


This story flow smoothly and it's not complicated . It goes on the nicely and intresting to the main plot. But please beaware if you're doing any flashback , make sure it's clearly stated so the readers won't be confused by the past and present.

Writing


Your writting style is pretty unique to me , it gives off a comfortable and clean feels. For better results , try using some intresting words to descibe something in the story.

Gramm.&Spel.


There's some grammars errors in between the story between some chapters but it doesn't affect much in the way of reading the story. I'm not sure whether english is your mother tongue but you do try your best in performing them in the story. To avoid having grammatical or spelling error , I'll encourage you to find a beta reader to read through your story and beta read it.

Gen.Enjoym.


I do enjoy myself reading this story , it's pretty comedic which I laugh seriously when I'm reading through it . It's also cute and gives off the family bonding which reminds me of my sisters , we used to fight like them , it's pretty childish and I know it xD. The unique part of the story is where you featured those kakaotalk chat in the story , to be honest it's my first time to see that , that makes the story intresting and easy to be understand. My favourite part of the story is where they were fighting like kids in the kakaotalk chat , it gives out a strong siblings bonding feel . I'll keep myself update to your story .

 
 
 

Title : 8/10

Description & Foreword: 6/10

Graphics: 8.5/10

Character Development: 7/10

Appearance : 8/10

Originality & Plot: 8/10

Flow: 8.5/10

Writing: 8/10

Grammar & Spelling: 7/10

General Enjoyment: 9/10

78 / 100

 
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fefedove
#1
Chapter 100: Omg I don't even remember having requested this and never credited either. I'm so sorry and I'll do it as soon as I have access to a laptop omgomg