B#5 | Dear Diary, This House Is Chaos | W3ntchuuKrown
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Title
Author
Characters
Category
Genre
Status
Dear Diary, This House Is Chaos
W3ntchuuKrown
Jihye (OC), BTS
B*G
Comedy, Family, Sitcom, Fluff
Ongoing (7 Chap)
Description
A diary written by a sister with seven annoying brothers and how she deals with them.
Title
he story tittle is acceptable and it does relevant with the story flow . Mostly the word 'chaos' explain how the story flows .Somehow some readers may find this tittle a boring but it is not a big problem . It depends on how readers take the tittle and story seriously or not.
Descr.&Forew.
The description of the story is probably fine just like what we used to write in our diary. The foreword and description is not that catchy enough for the readers to take a look of the story but you can still change and add a little intresting moments to it to make it more catchy and intrested to be read by the reasers. No majors spelling or grammars errors , for better improvement , I would recommend you to find a beta reader to check for the errors.
Graphics
The poster gives out a cute and lively vibe , with those colourful clours and gifs pictures , which matches the story well so does the background of the story. I'm not a graphic designer which they can tell you more about it , but you can ask for a graphic reviews from some graphic reviews for advice
Char. Dev.
The characters of the story is well portrayed but you can still make the character more intresting. The main character "Jihye" , she's well portrayed , but you can still add in more intresting characteristics or feature about her. Mainly , I do think only Jihye and Jungkook stands out the most in the story . If you're planning to make all the BTS members the main characters of the story , do add in more feature/moments with the main girl character "Jihye" so they will stands out more .
Appearance
The font you used in the story is just right for the readers who's using the computer , but it will be a little small for the readers who's using the mobile to read the story . Anyway , it's not really a big problem that affect much , just change to a little larger font , for example font between "16 to 20" will be the best . The paragraph is not too long and it's structured clearly where readers get to follow the storyline and how it flows well .
Orgin.&Plot
The story is well written . It gives out the cheerful , comedy-liked and family bond vibe . The story isn't cliche and readers mainly get to feel the siblings bond between them for exmaple " Jihye and her brother , Jin , a nice and close relationship they're having.
Flow
This story flow smoothly and it's not complicated . It goes on the nicely and intresting to the main plot. But please beaware if you're doing any flashback , make sure it's clearly stated so the readers won't be confused by the past and present.
Writing
Your writting style is pretty unique to me , it gives off a comfortable and clean feels. For better results , try using some intresting words to descibe something in the story.
Gramm.&Spel.
There's some grammars errors in between the story between some chapters but it doesn't affect much in the way of reading the story. I'm not sure whether english is your mother tongue but you do try your best in performing them in the story. To avoid having grammatical or spelling error , I'll encourage you to find a beta reader to read through your story and beta read it.
Gen.Enjoym.
I do enjoy myself reading this story , it's pretty comedic which I laugh seriously when I'm reading through it . It's also cute and gives off the family bonding which reminds me of my sisters , we used to fight like them , it's pretty childish and I know it xD. The unique part of the story is where you featured those kakaotalk chat in the story , to be honest it's my first time to see that , that makes the story intresting and easy to be understand. My favourite part of the story is where they were fighting like kids in the kakaotalk chat , it gives out a strong siblings bonding feel . I'll keep myself update to your story .
Title : 8/10
Description & Foreword: 6/10
Graphics: 8.5/10
Character Development: 7/10
Appearance : 8/10
Originality & Plot: 8/10
Flow: 8.5/10
Writing: 8/10
Grammar & Spelling: 7/10
General Enjoyment: 9/10
78 / 100
Reviewer: SHwends
date : 27 / 02 / 2015
CREDITS :
Credits to SHwends [SH] @ Steph's Bookclub Review Shop ©
COMMENTS / Thoughts & REMINDER
Comments & thoughts
I have to say that I'm really sorry for the late reviews . Your story is really well written and I'll be reading this , their childish fight makes me laugh everytime I read it . Continue the good work , Hwaiting ^^
REMINDER
+Comment if you saw this review
+Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Comments