B#5 | Diary Of An Innocent Girl's Lies | EllisKambook

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poster

Title

Author

Characters

Category

Genre

Status

Diary of an Innocent Girl's Lies

EllisKambook

Krystal, Sehun, Kai, EXO

B*G

romance, comedy

Completed (32 Chap)

Description

This story follows Krystal through a series of events that happen when she get's caught with Sehun. Her diary entries reflect her feelings on the situation, but not always necessarily help solve the situation she's in either.

 
 

Title


I really liked how direct your title was for your story! It was very enticing and even though the words were simple, the title definitely caught my attention and interest. Good job!

Descr.&Forew.


I absolutely loved your foreword and description! The quote at the beginning was a good choice and the little diary extract intro made me rlab (Location: "Up your & in the corner" XD). You made it feel personal and I knew I'll fall in love with Krystal and your story.

Graphics


I really liked the layout you chose for "DOAIGL" because it really made it feel like I was actually reading a diary. The poster was simple and nice enough however, I felt that there was something lacking towards it. Idk… Maybe this was the look that you were going for, but I felt in some ways that there was too much of the same colour shade and Krystal's image should've been placed in the middle and slightly enhanced more cos after all, this is her diary right?! I understand that this was probably not in much of your control and it was probably what you might have wanted and this is solely based on my opinion but yeah

Char. Dev.


The characters are portrayed in a realistic way, and they were very real. They were definitely not the average typical characters we usually get in most stories on AFF and I was really impressed on how you developed each characters, especially Krystal who just made me laugh all the way with her sassiness and cute but cool personality.

 

Appearance


The font that has been used fits the story very well, it is very convenient to read the story. It's not too large or not too small that it could bother the readers to continue reading. The story is very well structured and therefor easy to follow. I also loved your layouts! They brought the whole story to life and played well with the text!

SBC

Orgin.&Plot


This story is definitely an original! It was so cleverly written and you have such great talent and purely big imagination to come up with a plot like this! Words cannot express of emphasise any further how I feel about this section. XD

 

Flow


Your flow was spot on it flowed beautifully from the beginning to the last chapter! It was like I was in a movie watching scene after scene. Full marks for this one!

Writing


Like I said in the originality and plot section, this story was definitely a clever idea. Your ideas are well conveyed in this story and it's also rather clear how you want the story to go on. It's very understandable and enjoyable to read your story. Your story played like a movie in my head, I could picture everything very well and your writing was truly beautiful.

Gramm.&Spel.


There were some small spelling and grammar which I kindly suggest you go back and proof read all your chapters to fix up those errors :) If you don’t have the time to, then just PM and me and I can get someone to do it for you if you like. Just take note that this section does not deduct any points for your writing and flow.

Gen.Enjoym.


I can honestly tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reviewing this story. You did an extravagant job with it and I can see your heart and soul poured into this. "Diary of An Innocent Girl's Lies" made me laugh and cry at the same time and I truly thank you for that! You have an amazing gift for writing and all I can do is encourage you to write more!

 
 
 

Title : 10/10

Description & Foreword: 10/10

Graphics: 7/10

Character Development: 10/10

Appearance : 10/10

Originality & Plot: 10/10

Flow: 10/10

Writing: 10/10

Grammar & Spelling: 6/10

General Enjoyment: 10/10

93 / 100

 
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fefedove
#1
Chapter 100: Omg I don't even remember having requested this and never credited either. I'm so sorry and I'll do it as soon as I have access to a laptop omgomg