B#6 | Crystal Tears | chocobanana
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Title
Author
Characters
Category
Genre
Status
Crystal Tears
chocobanana
Suho, Kai, (Lay)
Romance
Chaptered (Ongoing)
Description
Joonmyun is an 18 year old boy in his last year of high school. He's class president, one of the most popular guys in school with good grades, lots of friends and a pretty girlfriend. There was nothing more he could wish for. But lately, he keeps on dreaming about a little boy with blue eyes as he plays with him in kindergarten. Was it real or was it just his imagination?
Title
Since your story is only beginning and consists a number of 8 chapters as of the moment, I can't say if it fits the story. But I do see it's connection with the storyline. It is also my first time seeing this title so it did gave me that fresh and unique feeling. Also, it's only two words, not too long not too short. Your title is also a certified eyecandy. Kudos for you for coming up with a cool title!
Descr.&Forew.
Your description and foreword were used neatly. The description gave the readers a brief summarization of the story, at the same time, it leaves us curious on why Junmyeon is dreaming of the boy.
The forward is neatly arranged as you gave us a cheerful greeting and a simple explanation on what's to come when we read your story; the credits are also placed neatly and the links are not all over the place.
Graphics
I'm no graphic artist but I can tell if a poster is good if it's good. The poster you used for your story is kinda cool, it has this mysterious vibes like the story itself, also it's pretty simple. However, don't take this the wrong way but I'm a bit creeped out when I saw the blue eyes f the child. The left eye was slightly bulged.
Char. Dev.
Junmyeon is totally a Gary Stu (Gary Stu is a male version of Mary Sue). He's like this goody-two shoes with nice grades, lots of friends and a pretty girlfriend. He seems like this one kid that would donate at a charity for Christmas. He's too nice. Basing that on the real world, I'm not sure where to put him. I kinda find it annoying sometimes, and it makes me cringe a bit too. But when he started being totally kind, I guess I've grown a bit of a soft spot for him.
Jong In's character is just adorable! Although the bullying part was kinda disturbing, I am quite interested in his character. He just hold that type mysteriousness that doesn't let you think that it's a plothole. It's like, hes meant to be mysterious. Although I have no idea whether he's the boy with the blue eyes or not, I am totally sure that he will play a very big role. Though I know he was meant to be a bit mysterious (is he?), I hope you describe him more.
I can't judge Yixing's character yet since he was introduced only in the latest chapter (or the second latest, I can't really remember). br> Anyways, I'm not sure if your characters are dynamic or not, but I couldn't really see a lot of development.
Appearance
The format was simple, and the font size is nice! Not much words to be said here.
Orgin.&Plot
I'm not gonna lie, this isn't the first story that I saw with that kind of plot. I don't exactly how to describe your plot, but it kinda gives me the anime vibes- which explains a lot of things since I've mostly seen that kind of plot on anime. Anyways, I could see that there's going to be a love triangle in your story, but I feel like you would focus more on the friendship part. I don't really feel a new 'feel' in it, since I've felt the vibes of your story before. Nevertheless, it's still a good read.
Flow
Your flow was like a waterfall! I like it. It isn't that abrupt and it was pretty much natural. You didn't really jump into things a lot, which is a bonus.
Writing
You chose quite a sensitive topic (in my perception)- I give you kudos on that. It is normal for an odd or peculiar person to get bullied in a place where almost everyone looks the same. People with different features/genes are mostly the victim in this matter. Also adding that South Korea is the second-highest suicidal rate in the entire world adds the realism in your story. I feel like your story would venture on topics such as this, but at the same time I don't. I don't know exactly where to put your story off to as I've seen and read a plot similar to yours, but the writing style had made it up.
Your writing style is stable and great. You're being descriptive enough because I can see what you're telling me. The best aspect of being an author is the fact that your voice can be almost heard when the readers read the story. And yes, your voice is loud and clear.
Gramm.&Spel.
I had to quint my eyes at this, but surprisingly, I find it hard to give you a constructive criticism on this one. Your grammar was sheer delight!
Gen.Enjoym.
I don't really read much story, but your story had made it to my list of subscriptions. I enjoyed it because I have a thing for stories with sensitive topics such as bullying. It would be nice to know more about Jong In's side of the story, but I am still satisfied of the chapters you've wrote. My favorite part was when Junmyeon cheered on Jong In at the dance competition- the same scene where he met a blue-eyed man who is named Yixing. My least favorite part was the spin the bottle part. Sehun's dare was extreme, and I was pretty much shock that Taeyeon didn't really gave a reaction to it that much. They've all thought of it as a game but it didn't really went the same for me. I felt like the dares were too extreme. Then again, it was the part of your story where I had so many thoughts in one go. I'll probably stay tuned to your story and stick to it 'til the end. I am anticipating for the next chapter.
Title : 9/10
Description & Foreword: 9/10
Graphics: 9/10
Character Development: 5/10
Appearance : 10/10
Originality & Plot: 7/10
Flow: 9/10
Writing: 9/10
Grammar & Spelling: 10/10
General Enjoyment: 8/10
85 / 100
Reviewer: Uniquestel
date : 28 / 05 / 2016
CREDITS :
Credits to Uniquestel [US] @ Steph's Bookclub Review Shop ©
COMMENTS / Thoughts & REMINDER
Comments & thoughts
I'm not really a enthusiast, but I certainly enjoyed the story. Although I do wish that there's more development and interactions between the characters, the overall story isn't really that bad. In fact, I will stay subbed to it and will be anticipating for the next chapter.
REMINDER
+Comment if you saw this review
+Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Comments