B#5 | Coffee Shop | SungJewel
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Title
Author
Characters
Category
Genre
Status
Coffee Shop
SungJewel
Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Jintuo(OC)
x OC
Fluff, Romance, Cute, MPreg, Not Rated
One-Shot
Description
"Mommy?"
A tiny voice sounded next to the beautiful man who was sitting on the couch, his face showing in slight discomfort as he massaged his protruding stomach. Sungmin, the beautiful man with the protruding stomach turned to the tiny voice of his adorable son, smiling slightly starring into the young child's doe eyes. Sungmin eased himself into a sitting position, making room on the couch for the adorable child who snuggled next to him.
"What is it Jinnie?"
Min asked running his fingers through the curly brown locks that Jintuo inherited from his father. Jintuo was an exact representation of his parents. He has Sungmin appearance, large doe eyes, a cute button nose, his 'M' shaped lips, the only physical feature he gained from his father was his curly brown hair. He attained Sungmin's aegyo other-wise he is smart, witty, sometimes snarky; all traits from his father and stubborn, a trait he got from both his parents.
"How did you and daddy meet?"
Title
The story tittle is pretty simple but it fits the story well because the setting for the place is mainly focus at the coffee shop. At first , the tittle really gives out a boring feel to the reader but later on they will find it blend with the story so there's nothing much to worry about the tittle.
Descr.&Forew.
Your description is mainly something like a short intro or a prologue to readers , it does catch the attention of the readers where the part 'Jintou' ask about the love story between his parents. The length of the description is just right where it doesn't reveal too much scenes that will happen in the story.
Graphics
There's no graphic provided . If you wish your story to be more attractive , a poster or banner might help . You can always request a poster or banner from the graphic shops out there where they have talented designers to make a nice graphic poster for you .
SIDENOTE: If you want a poster,background or something else made, we have do have a sister Graphic shop
*WF Graphics*
We have also other excellent Graphic Shops in our affliates. Please make sure to check them out.
Char. Dev.
The story characters was mainly focus on Kyuhyun and Sungmin , but you're leaning more to Sungmin . It doesn't affect anything about that so don't worry about it . For better result , you can just slightly edit the story where you'll focus more towards kyuhyun as well if your story mainly as talking about them .
Appearance
The font you used for the story is just right but there's something that might bother the reader where you've used a light cloured for the flashback part . It do bothers me as well even i'm using my laptop to read them , i'll encourage you to change the coloured to a little bright colours such as dark grey to have a better view. The story flows well where reader get to follow the sequence of the story.
Orgin.&Plot
The story sounds good to me where it's a story where someone fall in love with a person in the first sight . The plot went well where they started at the coffee shop by a person having a crush and slowly getting together and have kids and living happily ever after like a fairytale .
Flow
The story flows smoothly as i've been mention for a few times and ends nicely with those fairytail feels , there's no cliff hangers can be found .The flow is pretty easy to be understand by every reader . The story do get a little quick to get to the main plot but it doesn't affect much so no worries .
Writing
I like the way where you used some descriptive and attracting words to describe something , it does makes the story even better to be read by the readers.
Gramm.&Spel.
There's some major spelling errors such as 'know' but it's actually ' now ' and some minor grammar errors but don't worry too much as it doesn't affect much to the one who can understand them , it may be a little hard for the one who can't understand them so I'll encougrage you to find a beta reader to beta the story for you . If you need help with that , feel free to ask me . I'm not sure whether English is your mother tongue , if it's not , all I can say that you do try your best to present this .
Gen.Enjoym.
really do enjoy this story cause I'm a Kyumin shippers , keke . My favourite part of the story is where Kyuhyun follows Sungmin out and pecks his lips , it's sweet and loveable , excuse my fangirl mood xD . I do want more like if you could make a sequel for this , just giving out my opinion , don't have to .
Title : 8/10
Description & Foreword: 8/10
Graphics: --/10
Character Development: 7/10
Appearance : 6/10
Originality & Plot: 9/10
Flow: 8/10
Writing: 7/10
Grammar & Spelling: 5/10
General Enjoyment: 9/10
67 / 90
Reviewer: SHwends
date : 07 / 03 / 2015
CREDITS :
Credits to SHwends [SH] @ Steph's Bookclub Review Shop ©
COMMENTS / Thoughts & REMINDER
Comments & thoughts
I'm sorry for the late review , do forgive me . This will be one of my favourite oneshot of Kyumin couple even they're not real anymore . Great story and keep up your good work , hwaiting ^^
REMINDER
+Comment if you saw this review
+Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Comments