Title: The Howl
Author:hunhan5
Characters: Luhan and Sehun
Genre: rated m, romance, drama, angst, fantasy, wolfau,
Rating:  /
Status: On-going (9 chap)
Description: Luhan lives a relatively normal high school life. He is not popular but he couldn't care less about that as long as he has his best friend ,Xiumin, by his side. But Luhan also has a secret. A secret he has been holding onto ever since he was young. A secret that he thinks will stay in the past but unfortunately for him, there is someone who doesn't think like that and that someone has those captivating hazel eyes that have been haunting Luhan since that fateful encounter. What happens when Luhan starts hearing howls in the distance again?

Title (6/10):
To be honest, the title did not attract me at all. It's a little boring and common. But it's good that it is somehow relevant to the story so good job

Description & Foreword (6/10):
The description screams out GENERIC. Well not really common but somewhere along the line, 'Pretty boring'. It did not really interest me. You also need to space out the sentences as they are all jumbled up into a big paragraph.

This is the revised version:
Luhan lives a relatively normal high school life. He is not popular but he couldn't care less about that as long as he has his best friend ,Xiumin, by his side.
But Luhan also has a secret.
A secret he has been holding onto ever since he was young.
A secret that he thinks will stay in the past but unfortunately for him, there is someone who doesn't think like that and that someone has those captivating hazel eyes that have been haunting Luhan since that fateful encounter.
What happens when Luhan starts hearing howls in the distance again?
See the difference? It's much neater and is more easy to read.
Also, although the trailer is relevant to the story, I don't see how you have to put that in there as it isn't really important and 'eye-catching'..

Graphics (7/10): 
I like your poster and background but it would have been better if the color was changed into black. It would have suited the theme more.

Character Development (5/10):
To be honest, I did not really see any huge progress between the main characters in the story, instead, it was like it got fast-forwarded because somehow, Their 'attachment' was too quick that it felt unreal. I honestly do not like Sehun's personality. I don't like how he seems so... 'weak' and how he over reacts like with the overdone sorries and such. Lu Han's personality is okay, I guess. He gives off that 'Luhanly' vibe if you know what I mean and Xiumin's character is pretty cliche. How he is that best friend who 'likes' Luhan and is saddened after seeing HunHan together, etc. It isn't all that new

Appearance (7/10):
Font's easy to follow, but paragraphs are too big. Must space out evenly but other than that, great job!

Originality & Plot (6/10):
I have read similar plots where there is a wolf who chooses and '' his mate after seeing him. But the difference are their personalities. Sehun's personality is different from other wolf!au stories I have read and this is pretty new although he sounds weak. But other than that, there is nothing that excites me in the story.

Flow (6/10):
Other than the part(s) where Sehun got enrolled and when he '' Lu Han, everything was consistent.

Writing (5/10):
I adore your writing style but I don't like it (?) It just seems a little common.

Grammar & Spelling (5/10):
You had run-on sentences, spelling mistakes (you spelt permission wrong) and misuse of commas (punctuations in general). Do proofread your work or if you are not confident with english, get a beta reader.

General Enjoyment (7/10):
I like the whole concept of the story and I have absolutely no idea what the conflict will be about so I've subscribed to it to see what the conflict will be about.

Total score: 60/100
Reviewer: marmalody
Reviewed on: 22/08/2014
Comments and thoughts: Do not get discouraged by your overall mark as it is an above average! Do not take what I have said to heart. Do write more, fighting!


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Credits to marmalody (MML) @ Steph's BookClub Review Shop (SBC)©

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