Title: This Painless World
Author: Reepicheep (xiuminbaozi99)
Characters: Kris, Adlai (OC)
Genre: Science Fiction, Romance, semi-dystopia
Category: Boy x Girl
Status: Ongoing (3 Chap)
Description: Yifan lives in a country of war, Adlai in a country of love. What will happen when these to half worlds meet in a final battle that ends this ignorance of both love and pain?
Adlai was a prisoner found on the border between the two countries in the way prisoners have always been she was bought by the highest bidder.

Title (10/10):
Your title is very eyecatching. Since this story is a scifi story, the title suits the genre well. It gives me the imagination of the world in war and peace.

Description & Foreword (10/10):
I love the description. The description is short but filled with good amount of information that we need to know for the story.

Graphics (4/10): (points will not count)
If you want a poster made for your story we suggest our sistershop writerFairy Graphics. Click here

(There is no graphic for this story but I give you credits for the pictures of the characters.)

Character Development (6/10):
I love how you described the characters in foreword. But as the story goes, I don't really get the roles for each characters. For some parts of the story, I do get the hints of how Yifan is but less on Adlai. Maybe it is still too early to judge your storyline since it only has 3 chapters.

Appearance (5/10):
There are some parts of the story with big fonts and some are small. Some people like big fonts but some do not fancy them, so I hope you can check your fonts in your story.

Originality & Plot (7/10):
I love the creativity of the authors on making this story. The originality and the plot of your story is great. But there is a part where you said there is no happy ending for this story. Some readers may be disappointed and choose to not continue reading because they want a happy ending. Based on the title, 'The Painless World', some readers surely wait for the happy ending.

Flow (6/10):
The flow of the story is good for the first chapter, but the second and the third chapter are quite hard for some readers to understand. The scenes oftenly change from one to another though they are based on narrator's point of view on Yifan. I hope you can organise your scenes and the flow of your story neatly.

Writing (6/10):
I'm having a hard time to understand the sentences that you use. Maybe there are some with deep expressions of words, I couldn't figure them out. The sentences and usage of words that you used may bored some of the readers because they can't go with the flow.

Grammar & Spelling (7/10):
Your grammar is good but there are a lot of spelling mistakes so I hope you can recheck your spellings.

General Enjoyment (7/10):
I did enjoy your story especially your first chapter, but I struggled with the following chapters and I couldn't go with the flow. Maybe your usage of words are too deep and the scenes oftenly change. There are also a lot of spelling mistakes. I hope you can make them clearer and easily understandable. I'm really looking forward for your upcoming chapters!

Total score: 64/90 (68/100)
Reviewer: exoxexo
Reviewed on: 02/09/2014
Comments and thoughts: I'm sorry for the short review of your story because I'm kind of a straightforward person. I will continue to subscribe to this story and upvote it when it is done. Both of you were born with creativity for plots and originality. Keep writing, authors!


Reminders: Remember to follow the rules.
+ Comment if you saw this review.
+ Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Credits to exoxexo (XO) @ Steph's BookClub Review Shop (SBC)©

Credit 1

Credit 2