The title fits the story perfectly. The meaning of the story is relevant to the story. I didn't see this title yet here on AFF. For me, there's a mystery around it. You may think, Oh no not yet another boring cliché story. Well, sorry to disappoint anyone, but that's where you are wrong. This story for me is nothing like cliché. For me personally, it drew me in, to continue reading your story.

Your description is short but to the point. I like how you keep it short but still give us enough to want to read your story and trigger our curiousity. As far as your foreword goes, it's very clever to give us like a prologue there. In your foreword you let us meet Sehun already and his amazing ability. You also use the opportunity to explain a bit more about his background. This for me, was a good way to start your story, because it was easier to follow than. It does give the readers something to set the mood to start reading on.

I'm must be honest and give it to you straight. I do like the graphics a lot, but did not have the feeling it is very accurate to the story, just a little bit. It does portray the fluffiness that you are trying to incorporate in your story. But it's like there's something missing. I can't really explain what.. because I don't know. But after reading your story and seeing your poster, there is something about your poster that's missing. Let me try to explain it, your story is also about the mystery and drama of the background of Sehun. Maybe if the feelings of mystery and drama were more incorporated in your story, I think it would be a bit better. But overall, as I said in the beginning, I like the poster

I like how you did portray the characters. To me, they seem very realistic and not superficial, not even Luhan with his background you have granted him. It's your typical rich boy wanna-be free attitude and I do like that. He's not at all superficial! Good job on that one. And Ooooh Sehun, hmm.. the handsome orphan with his amazing ability, yes I must say, very realistic. It's nice that you didn't make him the typical orphan with the sad attitude. You gave him the strenght to man up to everyone and anything. Nomu choayo! ^^ I don't want to spoil anything yet, but there are some of them who did made the story change. Are you curious who that will be? Well, than I can only advice you to read the story ;)

The font is very good, not too large or too small. I read your story on my mobile and didn't need to zoom in, so good job! Oooh, i like your chapterheads that you used. They are very accurate to the chapter. You incoparated an image or word of what the chapter is about. Very nicely done! ;) The story is structured enough to follow. Although, sometimes for me personally, it was a little bit different to follow your story. In that sense that you changed chapter by chapter from OTP. Like fex. one chapter goes about Luhan and Sehun and the the next is about ChanBaekSoo. So that makes it a little bit confusing. But that's my opinion, apart from that you can quite easily follow your story.

For some your story will sound cliché, but for me just a little bit. You have the typical storyline. But what makes for me personally that your story stands out, is that you used your own way to work around the typical storyline. It's fluffy and romantic but not in the hardcore sense because you still have the aspect of drama and mystery. I do like how this is not your typical superfluffy and hardcore romantic HUNHAN story. There are struggles and discussions present in your story which makes it interesting to read on. As for the fluffiness, the side characters are portraying that very well. Between Lulu and Sehunnie it's like a push and pull relationship and they haven't done anything yet except from some stolen kisses, but they stayed on first base and didn't pass that yet. I do like how you let us linger for a more heated scene between those two. Off course in this story, there are more than one typical love triangle, but for that do read the story! ;) It's worth your time! :)

Your story does actually flow smoothly and how it will end.. I don't know yet as it is still ongoing. But I would definitely like know how it will continue and for that I will keep on reading your story. It's only sometimes confusing when you change chapter by chapter from main characters and OTP's. But apart from that, it does run smoothly and goes up slowly but steady to the main plot.

You did your best to convey ideas and words in an enjoyable and quite understandable way. I could imagine the story perfectly in my head. It's like a KDRAMA that goes by. They are known for being a lot of chapters/episodes and something major happens and from that point on it goes either worse of better and than after everything is settled again, the end won't be that far away anymore.

Firstly, thanks for informing us that English is not your native language. Actually you didn't make that many spellingmistake.. I guess none as far as I remember. As for the grammar mistakes. You mostly made mistakes by conjugating the verbs. I suggest or advice you to ask a beta reader for that, to fix all those "little" grammar mistakes. I didn't list them all, because I didn't want you to feel bad for yourself. But I will give you some examples of what I mean exactly:

Foreword

He take the money and as soon as the customer walked out of the place, he kissed it lightly. “Oh thank you so much, old man.”
He takes the money…

However, the ability he had right now is more than enough. Isn’t it great to see the face of your future husband or wife? Just the thought of it made every person tingle with hope to be love and in love. The only downfall the young male have is, he was unable to see his own fated love.
However, the abillity he has right now is more than enough. Isn't it great to see the face of your future husband or wife? Just the thought of it makes every person tingle with hope to be loved and in love. the only downfall the young male has is, he was unable to see his own fated love<./p>

He have this theory that his ability derive from looking at a person face
However, the abillity he has right now is more than enough. Isn't it great to see the face of your future husband or wife?He has this theory that his ability derives from looking at a person's face.

Therefore, he will always take hours in front of a mirror just to draw even a rough sketch but he failed miserably. Just he expected, his ability is useless on him.
Therefore, he will always take hours in front of a mirror just to draw even a rough sketch but he failes miserably every time. Just as he expected, his ability is useless on him.

I really like your story, and i will certainly continue your story as I would like to know what will happen next! You did a great job on writing this story eventhough English is not your native language. I like how this is not the typical fluffy version of a HUNHAN story. It's amazing how you intertwine all the characters life's and backgrounds with one another. Go on writing a good job! ;)