It is a sure fit for the story but I don't like it. This is not my style for exo-l's term. I am sorry I am lame but back to the point. The title somehows reveal the possible plottings to me which is death or someone leaving, which is also death. I would always and never stop suggesting this to my requesters (is that even engligh? XD) to make the title of the story as eye catching as possible. Best is that it is not seen on AFF often and create a title that will trigger the reader's attention and curiosity. Unknowingly, they will want to find out more and start reading the description and then the whole story. A good title is a good head start. For your case, it is not my style because it reveals the one-third of the plotting to me as well as it doesn't trigger my interest that much. One being maybe it is too long and two I don't like reading what I can half predict. Please I do suggest a change of title here.

You description is just near per to the fect! Almost perfect ish we got right here! With a better title and an almost perfect description like yours, it will definitely trigger my interest as well as the other readers. The description does not give away the whole story at all which is what I like. It made relevant point to the story and tells me that it has something related to war-ish and the quote is not needed but when I finish reading it, I understood the meaning behind the quote thus it is a plus point! However the little scenes of Chansoo's romance story shown in your description is what never make it a perfect because if I was a random reader, I would like to find out Why Kyungsoo is blind myself and to be honest, I would want to find out everything by myself though the story. I wouldn't want it to be reveal at the description itself. This is another thing that can trigger a reader's curiosity which is leave them hanging with a question that they will only know the answer if they read the whole story. So remove just that Kyungsoo blind part maybe and maybe the short scenes too. Hehe. Your forward is fine. It is meant for authors to credit as well as their personal message to the readers so yeah. I have no issue with it as always like most of the authors.

The graphic wise, it was not really what I was expecting. How can Chansoo be smiling. Don't even make sense this is a story major on tragedy right so why is there a smile. I don't really think Kyungsoo is or feeling a slight of happiness when Chanyeol died only when he 'saw' Chanyeol. I am looking for a darker poster which bring out fear because that is what war is. Making people fear of death and there is death thus it should be dark. I can't feel a slightest tragedy from it because in my point of view, wrong pictures were choosen. The colour were choosen wrongly as well. Everything just don't look in place and it doesn't bring out the feels in the story. It was a bomb to the story.

I love the idea of how the war is the issue that separated Chansoo but the character development just don't really suit the way of the story. First off, Kyungsoo here had given a few tries in commenting suicide which is understandable then his blindness match his character was so far so good. Then when he met Chanyeol, it was then he became a little cheerful. I guess. It was fine and his reaction to everything was fine but what bother me was that when Jongin aka Kai, asked for his name. Under that situation, in real life. I won't give a damn to whoever was talking not unless if it is related to my boyfriend's life and death. Kyungsoo-- when Chanyeol wanted to give him his cornear, I would prefer to see more of his reactions and speech than to just see him taking the offer. Like what is it that made him want to accpect it. Perhaps because he wanted a part of Chanyeol in his body (that sounds wrong :>) or is it because he didn't want to disappoint Chanyeol so he decided to use his cornear and live well for him. I don't know because I am not the author. Moving off to the Yoda aka Chanyeol, his whole charcter is just weird. Firstly why did he want to go to the freaking army just to make Kyungsoo proud. I mean like it is a ing war. Isn't the one you love suppose to be by your side till the end protecting each other. The military didn't select him to be in the war. He volunteered himself. Like just no. It is weird. I will and I believe most of us wants to be with our loves one. Just be by their side because we don't know when our life will end in the war. I know you let Chan join the military is a part of the plot but maybe just make the military choose him instead. It will make much more sense and bring out more feels. Provided if you write on how Chan and Kyungsoo reacted when the military came to their house and dragged them away or something. Chanyeol's reaction to everything was well I guess because it would be weird for someone who is dying to write their wills especially one that got shot in the chest. Just ouch and dead. He probably couldn't hold it in that long but since this is fanfic, I will let it pass.

The font and sizing of the words is fine and good. Since it was in the author's POV, I have nothing to complain.

The war part to me was fresh and new. I have never read something like this on AFF but the whole story plotting was a predictable as many goes like that. You just spice it up with the war plotting and scenes. That's all which is already good because not many author have plotting as yours, only the death part is not new. Let's be honest here out of 10 authors on AFF 8 of them would have written death scenes before. I mean I love to use it and I used it for my Chanbaek feat Kaisoo oneshot :]

I felt as though I was on a train. The flow was just too fast. Perhaps making each chapter a little longer by describing how each character feels and go deeper into feelings and actions rather than just 'touch and go'. Don't you think describing more on the love on Chansoo more before writing Chanyeol comeback scene will bring out more feels at the end? It needs more connections and feeling. Honestly I didn't even feel a slight of sadness because I felt their love was never strong enough. Kyungsoo trying to die isn't enough to proof his love for Chan and keeping his clothes wasn't enough too. I want more like a few flashbacks, romantice then later perhaps when I read the death part, I will feel more sadness within me. The death part too. More feelings said please. Description needs to be work on more on your story.

The describing of the war area was good but not great. The words used wasn't enough to make me paint picture in my mind. Also Kyungsoo is blind, don't use the word 'see' or anything that has to do with sight that often unless he really recover his sight. I wrote a girl who is blind before. I know it is hard but I got used to being 'blind' so yeah work on it more. Use a wider range of vocab to bring out a wider range of imaginary pictures and scenes.

I do still spot a few but I could shook it off as I read the story. I don't have issues on grammar and spelling actually because I hate it but it isn't a huge issues here. I always pass grammar easily. Just on the other points, I am more strict. Just check it or scan through it, you will find it.

I won't lie but I am a huge fan of tragedy angst ish story. I think writing a fiction is not easy because I have had the experience myself. It was hard because it was my first and tragedy fic. I didn't enjoy yours that much because I am a person who cry easily and becomes picky as I read. I honestly think your story have the potential if you could do the changes as I mentioned above and add in more scenes and description. It would be great then. This story has potential of being better so do change what I had mention because that is what I think is best for you. I didn't cry because I can't feel the love.