B#6 | What A Beautiful Mess This Is | sleepingtodream24
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Title
Author
Characters
Category
Genre
Status
What a Beautiful Mess This Is
sleepingtodream24
EXO's Kai & D.O. (KaiSoo)
(BxB)
comedy, romance, slice of life
Chaptered (ongoing) (16 Chap)
Description
"Do Kyungsoo hires a cleaning service for his mess of an apartment. He expects a middle-aged cleaning lady, he gets Kim Jongin instead."
Title
The title is appropriate and has a hidden meaning in the story which I think you did a very good job on. It’s very descriptive and I like how you implied it by the actions of the story. At first glance, I got to say that the title didn’t catch my attention maybe because simple words were used. I think that these kind of titles are commonly used and lacks originality. But like I said, the title, though long, creates an immediate and vivid image that conjures an idea of the “beautiful mess” of the relationship between Kyungsoo and Jongin which soon bloomed as the story goes on.
Descr.&Forew.
The description is clear and simple and though it’s very brief, the readers can have an idea of what the story is about without giving away too much. I do like how it sets out the story with just one sentence and I gotta give kudos for that! For the foreword, I think it was well written though I noticed some errors in the second paragraph.
I noticed some errors in the second paragraph. You wrote; “Kyungsoo swallows the sudden lump in his throat because he realizes he should pull back, move away, he's already crossed the many lines he'd drawn around to protect himself.”
Correct; “Kyungsoo swallows the sudden lump in his throat because he realizes he should pull back and move away because he has already crossed the many lines he'd drawn around to protect himself.”
Graphics
I really liked how the color of the poster blended with the background and the pictures of the main characters. I think that the colors matched the genre of the story very well and it gives that light feeling as I look at it. Though, I think that it’s plain and it didn’t catch my attention at first look. The poster doesn’t have much going on and I wish that the font is bigger and I suggest that a quote from the story was put. Overall, I liked the background of the poster (bookcase) because it resembles parts of the story and both the main character’s interests.
Char. Dev.
Can I just say how much I loved, loved, loved the characters! The characters were portrayed uniquely and everyone has their own distinct approach in the story. The most compelling characters are those who appear internally consistent and yet are capable of surprise. You managed to make the characters captivating but sadly, lacks a bit of surprise. As I was reading, you transported me inside the pages, making me feel like a part of the story. Just a small tip. To make the characters accomplish the art of surprise in the story, base them on real people. It’s a way to flesh out a character very quickly!
Appearance
The font is just the right size and I very much liked how the story was structured. The font was easy to read and fits the theme of the story well. Everything was neat and organized! Good job!
Orgin.&Plot
The plot was very refreshing to read though I got to admit that I’ve read stories like these before. Your story’s idea is centered in a familiar context and at some parts, the flow of the story is predictable, lacking the surprise and plot twists. The story serves no conflict or angst, just fluff and comedy which lacks complications between characters. Add a unique writing style to the mix, and you just might have a great story. However, if you have a good, solid structure for your plot, you can put it in the hands of characters in any setting and it won’t let you down.
Flow
The flow is very much just right. It doesn’t move too slow or too fast. You detailed everything clearly which makes the story more interesting to read. The flow was easy to follow along and it draws the reader deeper into the tale. I took a mark off because like I said before; the flow is predictable at times and lacks the element of ‘surprise’. I suggest choosing your sentence, paragraph, scene, and chapter breaks with care.
Writing
I love your writing! It’s very clear and your words of choosing are very easy to understand. You have your own style of writing, and the way you conveyed your ideas seems to work very well. Keep it up!
Gramm.&Spel.
I noticed some spelling error in some parts of the story. For example, you spelled ‘toes’ instead of ‘toss’ in a few sentences. I don’t know if you wrote that purposely but you made me laugh because of that! Haha. Anyway, your English is very good and easy to understand. Though I suggest to watch commas where you put it because at some point, I noticed that it was placed in the wrong place. Overall, your writing is astonishing and very smooth to follow. Well done.
Gen.Enjoym.
Girl, you don’t know how much I squealed reading your story! Seriously, I’m not even a KaiSoo fan and yet, you managed to bring out the feels out of me. My favourite part was the interactions between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. They are too adorable and they always made me laugh as I read. This story was very interesting to read and you kept my attention throughout the whole chapters. I am looking forward to the next chapter and I will be continuing to make the subscribe button red!
Title : 8/10
Description & Foreword: 8/10
Graphics: 7.5/10
Character Development: 10/10
Appearance : 10/10
Originality & Plot: 9/10
Flow: 9/10
Writing: 10/10
Grammar & Spelling: 8.5/10
General Enjoyment: 10/10
90 / 100
Reviewer: athlete
date : dd / mm / 2015
CREDITS :
Credits to ATHLETE [ATH] @ Steph's Bookclub Review Shop ©
COMMENTS / Thoughts & REMINDER
Comments & thoughts
Just wanna say thank you for introducing me to this story! I loved every bit of it. You have a long way to go and this story has so many potentials. Good job!
REMINDER
+Comment if you saw this review
+Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Comments