B#5 | Cry Boy's Smile | alisa
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Title
Author
Characters
Category
Genre
Status
Cry Boy's Smile
-alisa
Jaejoong x OC
BxG
Romance
One-Shot
Description
A younger guy trying to prove his love to an older girl.
I like older women, His sheepish smile
Younger men are frivolous,
Her stern beliefs
Title
Hmm.. Your title "Cry Boy Smile" definitely captivated my interest. It showed elements of some tints of sadness, but yet hope and it's exactly what this story holds elements of. This title is original and simple, yet it draws attention to readers. Well done!
Descr.&Forew.
Your description was short and sweet, giving me a taste of what I would be expecting in this story and I seriously loved your play with words. But I also felt in some way that maybe you could expand on it if you really wanted to. In your foreword you only wrote the details of your story and your little a/n + credits which is fine :) Loved the gif btw! ^^
Graphics
There's no graphic provided . If you wish your story to be more attractive , a poster or banner might help . You can always request a poster or banner from the graphic shops out there where they have talented designers to make a nice graphic poster for you .
SIDENOTE: If you want a poster,background or something else made, we have do have a sister Graphic shop
*WF Graphics*
We have also other excellent Graphic Shops in our affliates. Please make sure to check them out.
Char. Dev.
Your characters were easy to read and get to know. I liked how you made them seem so realistic and I was able to feel empathy with them. I appreciate the fact that you didn't create your characters in a overly-used stereotypical away. I could tell you really thought about what sort of person you wanted your characters to be before writing this and I absolutely loved little Jaejoongie! He made me smile with his cute actions the whole time.
Appearance
Font and font size was excellent, it was easy to read and follow, however, I do have some queries on how sometimes your paragraphs or sentences were structured. There were aspects where it was a little hard to follow and find the link between some sentences but it wasn't that bad or obvious, just maybe re-read and edit it later?
Orgin.&Plot
I wouldn't say this story was creative, but I wouldn't say it wasn't that creative either. This story held a few different elements of some similar stories I've already reviewed before, but how you portrayed your characters and make it feel like it was a series of snapshots made it unique and stand out.
Flow
Flow was excellent, I felt like I was riding this slow and gentle wave from where I started from the beginning to the end (itz a good thing XD) your writing wasn't choppy, but like I said in the appearance section, there were some parts that was a little hard to follow, maybe it was the way you constructed your sentences or how you spaced them out. That's how it felt for me anyway, but do look into it, it could just be me reading it fast and not processing it through my brain properly.
Writing
You have conveyed your ideas and themes for this story in an understandable way, and it was clear to me what direction you wanted to take this fic too. I was able to see imagery in your story and it felt like I was walking through it like an open book.
Gramm.&Spel.
Firstly, let me just applaud you for using such descriptive and expanding your vocabulary from using what I call "big words". There weren't any spelling mistakes I could spot, and your grammar was pretty good, however I think you should proof -read and add some commas in some sections. Other than that this section was great!
Gen.Enjoym.
I quite enjoyed reading your story because it was like one of those fics which you don't really come across to, and makes it's refreshing to read something different. Keep writing more fics! You have a really good thing going here!
Title : 10/10
Description & Foreword: 10/10
Graphics: --/10
Character Development: 10/10
Appearance : 8/10
Originality & Plot: 8,5/10
Flow: 8/10
Writing: 10/10
Grammar & Spelling: 8/10
General Enjoyment: 9,5/10
82 / 90
Reviewer: Aerxia
date : 14 / 03 / 2015
CREDITS :
Credits to Aerxia [AR] @ Steph's Bookclub Review Shop ©
COMMENTS / Thoughts & REMINDER
Comments & thoughts
This story was so cute and adorable! I had fun reading and reviewing this! Looking foreword to more work! If you have any questions feel free to PM me @ Aerxia XD thanks for requesting at SBC Review Shop! We look forward to see you again.
REMINDER
+Comment if you saw this review
+Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Comments