This is a very unique title and it sets up a mood of mystique for the story.

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I like the particular scene that was chosen for the foreword. It introduces the characters’ personalities a little as well. The page itself, however, is a little crowded and cluttered so it might be nice to have a more presentable format and keep most of the fonts and sizes the same. This might also be accomplished by adding mini-headers before the different sections. For example, before Nayeon’s profile, you might want to add, “Characters.” Before the opening scene, you might want to add “Foreword/Description” or something that denotes what is to follow. Also, there are minor grammar errors in the opening scene which might turn off some especially picky readers, although it’s not too much of a concern.

The poster, background and trailer are all excellent. The trailer is especially good and seems quite professional for a fanfic trailer. My only complaint is that the poster is far too light to read much of what is written on it, besides the title, and it is difficult to distinguish much else on it.

For the length of this story, the characters show growth and have good backstories. Although we do not know them for a long time, we still can relate to them or appreciate them as a character. Honestly, however, for a story of this depth, more character development and more extrapolation on the entire story as a whole would make it better. However, since this was intended to be a short story, the level of underdevelopment is a bit more understandable.

Good font size and structure.

This story has a very fresh idea.^^

The story has a pretty good flow. Once again, because the plot that was set up is so complex, a story like this needs more background, extrapolation, or fillers in between things. The story also felt a bit as if it was jumping from chapter to chapter. However, because of the length of the story and the fact that it was still well written enough to have a decent flow, it doesn't matter too much.

There were a few (one or two) things that were glazed over that didn't make sense. Nevertheless, everything was easy to imagine in my head. The author also made good use of pathos throughout the story, and the story, plot, and characters got to my emotions.^^ Once again, though, it was just slightly jumpy and I felt that some ideas, topics, or scenes in the story could use some more explanation.

There are minor errors in grammar and writing format, but they are able to be ignored whilst being read.

I really enjoyed this story. However, I felt as if it was more of a preview to a full story or book rather than a complete story on its own. (Think of the relationship between a trailer and an actual movie.) I've said this a lot already, but because the story’s topic and plot is so complex and there’s so much that the author could talk about and fill to create a full story, it really should have been a longer story. That being said, that did make me want to read more as well. This short story has so much potential as a complete story, and I suggest that this be looked in to.