Title: We Got Married?
Author: TheOfficialVIP
Characters: TOP, GD, Seungri, Daesung, Taeyang
Genre: fluff, comedy, romance
Category: 
Status: Ongoing (7 Chap)
Description: What happens when you mix fan girls, drinks, Vegas and Big Bang together? GTOP happens. Two ordinary but manipulative girls encounter two members of Big Bang, G Dragon and TOP. After a lot of drinking, the two Korean stars are dragged to a Las Vegas wedding chapel but what do the girls have in mind? Marriage? Between whom? GD and TOP perhaps?

Title (7/10):
The title sounds like a common title around AFF, so I guess you could’ve improved it. But then again, I haven’t read your story as of yet so this is my first impression of it. I generally at making titles, but I think you could have gone the extra mile and made it better by calling it something that would appeal to the readers scrolling through. Something that would stop them in their tracks and make them read your story. Something that would make them go, “This sounds interesting! I’ll give it a shot and see how it’s like!” But after reading the story, I think you could add an exclamation mark to the end to make it an interrobang, so it sounds like they’re in shock.

Description & Foreword (7/10):
The description is a pretty good one at that, so I’ll give you some brownie points but you didn’t need the last rhetorical question in my opinion. It sounds like you’re giving too many vital information away. You don’t have to do what I say but it could possibly make it better. The reason why I said to get to rid of it is because your title is “We Got Married?”, it’s tagged as a G-TOP fic so obviously, the readers will understand that there is a possibility of marriage between the two rappers.

Graphics (5/10): 
You had two different posters, so I’ll review them both. The poster that you have on the story in AFF looks pretty amateur. I would recommend sticking to one font only if you have three words, maybe even two. I asked my trusting friend for her impression about this poster, she said that it makes the story look bad and clumsy. However, for the poster that you gave us a link for, I have to say, it’s much better than the one you have on AFF. You have GTOP vertically opposite and two wedding rings in the middle with the title. It’s simple but it sells your story better than the other one. It gives the reader the gist of the story without giving too much away.

Character Development (5/10):
I, as a reader, never really understood the two girls at the beginning of the story. Their intention was never stated so the readers are confused as to what provoked them to kidnap GTOP and make them marry each other. You could make the story a bit better by perhaps letting the reader know subtly what their goal was. However, in saying that, you did a fantastic job on developing Jiyong and Seunghyun as they are the main characters of this story. You could’ve made a complication with Youngbae by making him not accept it because he’s religious, which could’ve made it realistic. He could’ve slowly come to realise that GTOP could be meant for each other. But that’s fine.

Appearance (8/10):
From Chapters 1-7, the font is a tad too small for my liking. I wore glasses and it didn’t help; I had to resort to making the font bigger. But Chapter 8’s font size was big enough for me to read it. Apart from that, I think there’s nothing wrong.

Originality & Plot (10/10):
FINALLY, THERE’S A STORY THAT’S ORIGINAL! Great job! It’s the first GTOP fic that I’ve read, but I think it’s a really good plot idea. All of the other BIGBANG fics that I’ve read have pretty much similar storylines

Flow (6/10):
The story seems a bit choppy and clunky. It felt, to me, like it was being rushed? It seems like you’re getting too eager and jumping straight into the problems and resolving them as quickly as you can. There’s no need to rush; it’s not a competition but the fic’s beautiful to read.

Writing (6/10):
Now, because this fic is a collab, I have to mark it accordingly. Some of the chapter’s are written so amazingly, while others seem rushed and don’t have much quality to them. I’m going to assume that you had a date to update each chapter on, so I’ll take that into account but once again, the idea is excellent!

Grammar & Spelling (9/10):
There was absolutely no grammatical errors in your story. There’s nothing else for me to say.

General Enjoyment (9/10):
loved the story because it had an original idea behind it. I found myself wanting to read more and more, awaiting updates. I think I might start shipping GTOP now!

Total score: 78/100
Reviewer: kimchispaGHEItti
Reviewed on: 14/09/2014
Comments and thoughts: Great job; keep up the good work!


Reminders: Remember to follow the rules.
+ Comment if you saw this review.
+ Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Credits to kimchispaGHEItti (KS) @ Steph's BookClub Review Shop (SBC)©

Credit 1

Credit 2