Title: The Underworld's Creation
Author: thecrownedraven
Characters: Kris Wu, Yuto Wu, Oikawa Tatsuya (OC), Xiumin, Suho, Chanyeol, Kai, and Fumio Kudo (OC)
Genre: romance, drama, angst, slight horror, sci-fi, M-rated
Category: 
Status: Ongoing (6 chap)
Description: The Wu brothers lived most of their lives in a laboratory. They were created there by the scientists who were hired by a merciless Yakuza boss. They are cyborgs that were created for killing...

Title (10/10):
Your title made me instantly wonder what/who the creatures will be and the poster did cover that question. The moment that I saw the title I thought of Sci-fi and it made the whole story automatically seem more intense. From the title, I had some assumptions that it will be action packed. It is a very good choice for your story and it is a very intriguing title to have picked. Also, it is a very good play on words. Anyone who only sees the title and hasn't read it yet, would think it is about Hades and Hell but anyone who has read it know that they are literally from their world underground.

Description & Foreword (10/10):
The foreword was great, it introduced the characters well. The decscription was able to give me a look into the story and helped me to see what the main part of the story was going to be about.

Graphics (10/10): 
I really have to praise you on your poster! The poster give the story a scary and dangerous feel to it. Also, the main characters were made larger than the side characters which helps you see who the lead roles will be played by.

Character Development (8/10):
For character development, I would have to give you and 8 only because there weren't any huge changes but there were some and you also aren't quiet finished yet, so you still can make more character development. Yuto changes from being a slight scaredy cat to being a tougher fighter. Kris is still very possessive over Yuto and I can tell that this characteristic won't be leaving very soon

Appearance (10/10):
I think that the font was easy to read and the size of the text wasn't bothersome nor irritating. Good job!

Originality & Plot (10/10):
You have done a very good job at making sure that this story isn't your typical fanfiction. You have an abstract and complicated love situation that wouldn't be seen in any regular fanfiction. The storyline is very different from others and this makes readers have a harder time guessing what will happen next.

Flow (9/10):
The flow of your story is pretty good! It isn't like one of those boring stories where you wait and wait and wait some more for the writer to get to the point. You story started up exciting and hasn't failed to keep me intrigued.

Writing (8/10):
You do keep the story enjoyable with your wide variety of vocabulary. Your imagery was was able to follow along with your vocab. For example, when you said "The cyborg appeared in front of the man in mere seconds before ripping his arm off. Yuto penetrated his throat with his hand, not wanting to attract attention. The lady was stunned in horror by the sight of the monstrous man that came to save her. The men tightened their grip on her, holding her in a choke hold. Yuto saw all of them were pointing guns at him." This advanced vocab made it easy for me to picture the scene in front of my own eyes.

Grammar & Spelling (7/10):
So there were some places where there should have been an extra word or an "s" at the end of a word. But you were able to make the reading understandable so good job on that. If you would like, I suggest a Beta Reader. If you don't know, beta readers are here to help with grammatical errors. I myself am a beta reader so you can always ask me to revise your story if you want me to. So if you are just feeling lazy, I am here.

General Enjoyment (10/10):
Generally, I really love this story. I think that there haven't been any lows in your story. I was kept interested the whole time and even if there were some grammar issues, I won't have really bothered to notice them if the whole point wasn't that I give you feed back about your writing. I can't wait until you update again! I am now hooked on this story and I am anticipating your future chapters!

Total score: 92/100
Reviewer: kpop_addict4ever
Reviewed on: 17/09/2014
Comments and thoughts: I think it would be a good idea to get a beta reader to correct some of your mistakes and that will make your writing even better! I am so excited to continue reading^^ Fighting!


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Credits to kpop_addict4ever (KA4E) @ Steph's BookClub Review Shop (SBC)©

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