B#6 | Lamia Lupus | Angel110

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poster

Title

Author

Characters

Category

Genre

Status

Lamia Lupus

Angel110

Tao, Kris, the rest of Exo

angst, vampireau, wolfau, mpreg

Chaptered - Ongoing

Description

Tao and Kris are forbidden to love each other and hide their relationship. As others find out, things get rather complicated.

 
 

Title


I have to say, I love when stories have titles like yours. Your title meaning is very relevant to the story and is very unique. I'd say, If I were browsing through the category I would overlook your story if I wasn't going to read the description. Your story title doesn't really have a foreign ring to it so, for me it could've been easily forgotten. Though, I still think it deserves a 10/10.

Descr.&Forew.


I have to applaud you for the way you put together the foreword and description. The description is what really draws one in. Personally, I've never read Taoris; I only read Hunhan and Kaisoo and I'm not an exo fan at that, but that description deserves 4 gold stars. If it can make someone like me, who's not big on exo read it then it must be absolute gold. That's one of those descriptions that make you go 'mmm'. Now the foreword does have some unnecessary stuff in it but, this is fan fiction not professional published works. So I'm not going to mark you off for every little thing that doesn't pertain to your story. Someone did it to me before and I thought it was unnecessary. Also, the quotes in of the foreword are really eye catching, in all honesty the quotes made me more interested in this story.

Graphics


Not much I can critique here. The background and cover fit perfectly with this story.

Char. Dev.


The characters don't really need much critiquing. The characters are pretty realistic but some of them are very cliché. You have the two friends who are dating and can't keep themselves off of each other, cliché. The one friend who has a crush on the other friend who's close to the main character, cliché. The two friends who constantly argue, cliché. Then the one friend that's extra caring for the main character, cliché. Though I have to say the way you made Minseok change was something I like and makes great sense with the storyline. Which technically doesn't make him a cliché but, Chanyeol is a cliché. Also I have a few things I don't like about Zitao and Yifan but, that's meant for another category.

 

Appearance


The appearance is fine. You have a good font and font size. It's visually satisfying.

SBC

Orgin.&Plot


Ah, this is probably where I had the most problems. The story is pretty cliche. Wolfs don't like Vampires and vice versa, the heir falls in love with the other race, and is put in a tough situation. Hell, my sister is even writing a Wattpad story with a similar storyline and thought I was writing your story to steal from her! Except, her characters actually got to run away before the throne was passed to them. Also, Zitao and Yifan's story is so typical. Tao's mom was killed and Chanyeol's family took him under their wing. Meanwhile, Kris's mom ran away with his brother because the clan leader has got some serious problems. I've seen this in way too many shows, books, movies, and fiction. In all honesty, I roll my eyes every time I find out the character's past is like that. Personally, I'm tired of it. Though I have to say, the mom running away with the uncle as well is new to me.

 

Flow


The flow of this story is very good. I like how you made things go slowly and didn't really have anything escalate until like chapter 11. I don't really like when stories escalate at like chapter 3 even if there is a time skip, so I applaud you for taking your time.

Writing


Some things were a bit unclear but, overall the imagery was really good. You could use more description when talking about the setting though. There is bad imagery and then there is good imagery; yours was on the good side. Trust me, I have been desperate enough to read stories with horrible imagery I know what I'm talking about when I say you did a good job.

Gramm.&Spel.


There's a few mistakes here and there, It started clear but more came to prominence as I read on. The only spelling errors I saw throughout what I read were like 3-5, mostly on simple grammar principles like too and to. You could use a few commas and semicolons in certain places but, as far as I'm concerned you did well.

Gen.Enjoym.


This story was really good. I was really into it. I was even on the verge of tears at the end of chapter 15 when Minseok and Yifan announced their relationship to their friends. I felt like I was in sync with not only Jongdae but with all the characters. I was even telling my friends about the drama in here! Overall I really enjoyed it and will continue reading it.

 
 
 

Title :10/10

Description & Foreword: 10/10

Graphics: 10/10

Character Development: 8/10

Appearance : 10/10

Originality & Plot: 6/10

Flow: 10/10

Writing: 9/10

Grammar & Spelling: 9/10

General Enjoyment: 10/10

92 / 100

 
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fefedove
#1
Chapter 100: Omg I don't even remember having requested this and never credited either. I'm so sorry and I'll do it as soon as I have access to a laptop omgomg