It conveys the story’s theme and mood well.

The front page was pretty packed, but it didn't have a legitimate description or summary of what was to take place in the story. However, the piece chosen for the Foreword served the purpose of the Description and then some. It clearly gave character descriptions and categorizations and gave a feel for the rest of the story. I also liked the fact that there were a lot of extras on this page, especially the fact that there was a soundtrack included.

Nicely done poster and soundtrack cover.

The characters did not really change much at all throughout this story. For some reason, however, it didn't really take away from the story that much. It might be because of how the dynamics between the characters, rather than the characters themselves, change. That’s a good factor in this story.^^

The closeness of the font combined with its smaller size just makes it slightly difficult to read.

This is a very original idea, and it’s actually the first “drama” fic I've ever come across.^^ Nice idea, by the way.

The writing style often switches between formal and casual, and oftentimes, this occurs in the middle of a sentence. It interrupts the flow a little. Some of the weird grammar also takes away from it

As I mentioned earlier, the story switches between casual and more formal tones, which makes things a little awkward. Also, there’s too much addition of narration from the author’s point of view. Try to keep it all in the characters’ world instead of adding in thoughts of your own to clarify the writing. Save your thought’s for the author’s note.^^ See if you can make everything clear enough through the characters’ point of view alone. The story switches between good writing and not-so-good writing. This also interrupts the flow.

There were some strange grammar errors and some common grammar errors that took away from the feel of the story. Also, it’s weird when some words are randomly bolded or struck out, but that didn't happen too often, so it was OK.

This story was overall a pretty good read. I found that Series 2 was much improved upon Series 1. Series 2 had a better flow, better writing, better characterization and dynamics, and it was just more interesting in general. Throughout the entire story, though, there was some drag that occurred that made the story a little boring at times. To fix that, I would make sure that you keep the plot alive and not dwell on meaningless or repetitive moments too much. Make sure to fix up the grammar and writing structure errors that you have; it will make the story much more fun to read and it will be more bearable. That being said, the more well written parts were pretty fun to read, and I like the overall vibe of the story. It’s a fresh idea, and you seem to bring it across well. If you just fix those small things and increase the fluidity of the writing, it will be much better. I really did enjoy Series 2 overall, though. The writing improved from the first chapter. The overall story was of decent quality, but the story feels real enough and the characters are likable enough that I would still read it. I’m sure that as you keep on writing, it’s quality will continue to increase.^^