Title: Against The Rules
Author: hunhan5
Characters: Chanyeol, Baekhyun
Genre: fluff, romance, fantasy, action, drama
Category: 
Status: Completed (6 chap)
Description: There are two schools. One is for privileged and the other is for 'scum'. They are separated by The Fence and the students are not allowed to get close or even talk to each other. If they do it will be against the rules and they will be punished strictly. Rules are rules after all. Baekhyun was never fond of rules though.

Title (10/10):
When I read the title, I was like this title reminds me of another story. And than it hit me, I did read and reviewed your story "Break My Rules". I must say I love the title and thus fits the story perfectly, I wouldn't have picked any other title. Even if you haven't read the story, you know that something excited will happen. It always does with those kind of titles. To conclude, yes the title is very relevant to your story. I do not think at all that the title sounds boring. Even if it has been used before on AFF, every authornim uses the title in their own interpretation. To due that fact, every story is different from each other. I was drawn in to read your story, who wouldn't be! ;)

Description & Foreword (9/10):
Your description was maybe, but nontheless enough to represent your story. It has everything in it to trigger the reader to go on and click the "Next" button on the bottom of the page. I loved your trailer in the foreword. But on the other hand, again.. I must be honest with you, in the whole time that I review stories here on AFF, it's my second review where there's a trailer present. Normally, I don't like watching those trailers - don't ask why (well, you may if you want to know) - But it's like this, I rather start reading your story and than with everything you write and how you write, imagine and play your story in my mind, than having already a story prefixed. Nontheless, credits to the one who made him, because it was a great one ;)

Graphics (8/10): 
Credits for the one who made your poster and background. Hmm.. as Baekhyun is one of my biases in EXO (He's like n° 1 on my list from EXO O-O), I fell in love the instant I saw your poster. The special effects on the poster, reflect the story/portrays the story very well. If you see the poster for the first time, you see the elements, light and fire and the school and than your tagline and than you have the feeling like - How's the story going to go/What's this about. It's in fact, if you look closer, the school that has been torn apart and also the main characters. As for your background, it's very light and represents one side of the story. But as it just displays the title, it off course fits the story. But if you read the story, you would maybe consider another background. I did like the graphic, though and also the font and such. But because you have the element fantasy in your story, your background could maybe create more that. But overall, again, credits to the graphic designer.

Character Development (8/10):
Are the characters portrayed in a realistic - yet unique way? Is the main character a "Mary Sue" and is perfect in almost every way? Do important characters change as the story goes by? The characters in your story have their own part to play. So that makes that they are portrayed in a realistic way and not as superficial. I like how Baekhyun starts off in the story, with his own little "dirty" secret. I love the mystery behind that. And FYI, I do mean "dirty" in a positive, kind of y way. They all have their secrets, which makes your story interesting to read. I do like this in all your stories, down to earth characters like you and me. As for important changes in the story, in my opinion, there aren't that big changes. Off course there is a lot that happens along the way. But do read this story, to know more about that! ^^

Appearance (10/10):
The font is convenient enough to read on the laptop as well as on your smartphone (what I did, 'cause I couldn't stop reading!) The story is easy to follow and structured clearly enough.

Originality & Plot (9/10):
Well, hold on tight, because now you enter the rollercoaster of words. ^^ Let's get started! Your story made me thing first of all -DEJA VUE- of your previous story that I have reviewed with - Brace yourself, HUNHAN ^^. But as you already explained there in your story that you based that story on the one you did here with Baekyeol, it's fine with me. Second, it was like a mix of The Legend Of Korra and off course the Airbender and the Elements of Nature and also with a little something Harry Potter-ish :) But I did like the story. I give you marks for your originality. I do like the element of fantasy in it, which makes your story interesting and every authornim has another view on how they are going to use the element fantasy in their stories so. GOOD JOB! ^^

Flow (8/10):
I read your story in like I think 2-3 hours max. It read that easy and I couldn't stop, I was drawn in the story and wasn't even aware of my surroundings. On the moment I started again with the first chapter (As I began already on my laptop - but ended it up reading on, on my smarthphone) I wouldn't even look up, or pay attention to the things I needed to pay attention to (Side Note; I had to watch the food on the fire for dinner and because I didn't want to be bored, I started again reading your story. Than my mum asked to take of the food, and I was like - Yeaaah..; I will do it * while reading on*) So yes the flow is very smoothly without being choppy. For me at a certain moment it did went by very quickly. It was at some point at the end, that you like speeded up the process and flow of the story. I didn't bother me that much, because as you said, you wanted to keep it rather short - if I understood it correctly. For me also, it didn't had to be any longer. You ended your story nicely.

Writing (9/10):
Again, as in your previous story, you do convey your ideas very clearly. You also make sure your stories are enjoyable to read, without making it boring by using very difficult words and such. I do love how you can always give me your stories in a movie form. With that I mean, that when I start reading your story, there's already an image forming in my head and from that the whole story starts playing in my head like a movie

Grammar & Spelling (8/10):
As I don't know if English is your first language, I must say you didn't make that many mistakes. It could be rather some typos that really big mistakes. I would say minor mistakes, but than again it didn't bother me that I couldn't read on or that your story became choppy. Here are the very minor mistakes I stumbled upon while reading your story:

Chpt 1

There was a forest at the very edge of school grounds that he could see as he walked forwards with determination
There was a forest at the very edge of school grounds that could see as he walked forward with determination

Baekhun couldnt.
Baekhyun couldn't

Chpt 2

And he teases Kyungsoo dayly.
And he teases Kyungsoo daily.

It made Baekhyun smile smiled wider and shift closer to the body that was pressed against his side and a chest he was currently using as his own personal pillow comfortably.
It made Baekhyun smile even wider..
It made Baekhyun smiling even wider..

As for the rest, again you did a great job, I don't think there were anymore. Or maybe i didn't notice . You're improving! ^^ Keep up the good work!

General Enjoyment (10/10):
I'm so addicted to your stories! Even though , you label them as , it's not the hardcore where you can overboard with the ual tentions and scenes. It's rather a superfluffy and kyota and I do like that alot about your stories. Well the Hunhan and the Baekyeol story at least. I didn't start reading your other stories yet, so yes you made me curious. I like how they meet and start doing all kinds of things together - it's just SO FLUFFY, kyaaa! :) Again, I will definitely read your other stories as well!

Total score: 89/100
Reviewer: StephLovesKCulture
Reviewed on: 03/09/2014
Comments and thoughts: My sister keeps going on about your story "The Howl" that I must definitely read. So yes, I will do that! You're amazing authornim, just some minor typos/mistakes but apart from them, DAEBAK! Your story was once again a pleasure to read! ;) FIGHTING!


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