B#5 | Warrior | KoLi-Song

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Title

Author

Characters

Category

Genre

Status

Warrior

KoLi-Song

Sae- Roo (OC), Yeong Eun (OC), Xiah Junsu, Lee Chaerin (CL), Mark Tuan, Bang Yongguk

B*G

Romance, Tragedy, War, Heartbreak, Angst

OG (3 Chapt)

Description

At the age of twenty one, Sae-Roo's world came crashing down, as both she and her husband have realized that they will eventually succumb to their life threatening illnesses. They made a promise to do something together, but with her husband too ill to go, Sae-Roo decides to go out in a blaze of glory on her own, and commit the taboo for her home, and joins the armed forces. Will she make it before her time passes?

Title

The title is very relevant to the story and I understand that it's a BAP song but it would've been better if you'd come up with your original title.

Descr.&Forew.

The description gives just enough for the reader. *explanation in the plot section*

Graphics

I don't really care much about the graphics so I can't really judge.

Char. Dev.

I love the character of Sae Roo. She's strong and daring which is hard to find in an OC. Well done for that. Junsu seems a little pathetic to me. I understand that he has a disease but he could be more like Sae Roo. Also, I would've liked to know what disease they have; you might want to do a little research. It'll make your characters seem more realistic.

Appearance

I don't really care about appearance. I'm here to judge what your words say, not what they look like.

Orgin.&Plot

Let me go ahead and say that I love your plot. I've never come across such a story where the OC is the brave and strong figure and even better, I haven't seen a fic where there is a war. I do have a complaint though. I want to know more about the setting. I don't know if you'll bring it in later or not but I want to know why there is a war.

Flow

The flow is good. I love how you add narratives of their past life like the bit about their wedding. You entwine it into the story well.

Writing

The first chapter has a large amount of description. I'm a big fan of dialogue so for others like me, the way you write can be a little lengthy but otherwise, nothing to worry about.

Gramm.&Spel.

Nothing to complain about here!

Gen.Enjoym.

I enjoyed it a lot. As I said, I'm not the biggest fan of description so I found myself trailing off at times but I found it amusing.

Title : 8/10

Description & Foreword: 9/10

Graphics: 8/10

Character Development: 7/10

Appearance : 10/10

Originality & Plot: 8/10

Flow: 9/10

Writing: 7/10

Grammar & Spelling: 10/10

General Enjoyment: 8/10

84 / 100

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Comments

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fefedove #1 Dec 23, 2015 05:56:43

Chapter 100: Omg I don't even remember having requested this and never credited either. I'm so sorry and I'll do it as soon as I have access to a laptop omgomg