Here's a long chapter for you guys since I wasn't able to update twice today :) I'm just so busy with school and other things. Anyways....ENJOY!

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August 12

There are two basic motivating forces: Fear and Love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, IT IS YOURS.

I’ve come to realize that living with so much fear in your heart is not healthy at all. Yes, fear is already party of every human being, but we can brush it off or let it eat us. These past few years, I’ve lived my life without fear, I’m totally free from worries (heavy ones) and now that things got a little twisted, the fears that I have eight years ago came back along with the sole person that brought hell into my relationship and family. I know that one day, this too shall pass and we’ll be able to tell ourselves “Good Job! We have surpassed it. AGAIN!”

Today is Gabby’s Birthday! Hooray! She’s already ten years old and I cannot believe that she already hit that two number age mark. This is just so crazy! Isabella is already a teen for she’s turning thirteen days from now and Gabby will just have to wait for three years to be called a teen as well. Gosh! I want time to stop or can somebody just stop my kids from growing up.

“Hello?” I woke up because of a phone call and it’s just so annoying.

“Good Morning Ma’am? This is Anne” the girl on the other end said and I get out of bed and went to the balcony.

“Good Morning…what is it?” I asked with my raspy voice.

“I’m sorry to wake you up….but…the board members called saying that they are going to push through with the meeting that was cancelled yesterday” she answered and I nearly threw my phone.

“What? Why is it so sudden? I mean…the girls and I are not going to work today” I told her.

I’m dead pissed early in the morning and it’s all because of a cancelled board meeting yesterday. Our team is so ready to present everything to them and they cancelled the meeting an hour before without even any good reasons, and now, they are telling me that they want to push through with it? Seriously, what’s going on with the world?

“This is so not good” I said and I heard Anne sigh.

“Ma’am….we can cancel it if you want” she said and I shook my head.

“No…I’ll be there in an hour or two…what time is the meeting again?” I asked, still pissed.

“Same time ma’am….ten:thirty” she answered and I nod my head.

“Alright…it’s still a bit early…I’ll be there by ten….contact the girls…Brady and some of our unit heads….I have to have them beside me later…because I’m telling you…I’m so out of my element already” I told Anne and she chuckled.

“I’ll take note of that ma’am….and please…don’t think about it too much…those board members just don’t know how important time is” she said and I smirked.

“I just hate the fact that it’s my rest day …not to mention…my daughter’s birthday…I’ve been planning for this for a long time already and now…it’s gonna be ruined…and it’s all because of that freakin meeting” I ranted.

“Oh ma’am…happy birthday to you daughter” she said.

“Thanks” I replied.

After that call, I went back to bed and just lie there while staring at the ceiling. My mind is just so blank right now. It’s not even in the mood to work because I’ve already set my mind that I’m gonna stay here with my family the whole day and just have fun with them.

I don’t know how my daughter will take this, for I already told her that I’m going to be here at home the whole day and she is even planning for a movie marathon later this afternoon, and I don’t even know if I can finish that meeting on time.

A few minutes have passed and I can already hear my kids in the living room. The boys are being loud again as usual and I can hear Gabby laughing so hard as well. It’s my cue that I have to get my up and check on them already.

“What is going on here?” I asked and I saw the little boys chasing each other while holding swords in their hands and the three big girls sitting on the couch, giggling while looking at something on their Ipad.

“MUM!” the girls shrieked and I sit beside them on the couch.

“Happy Birthday baby girl!” I grabbed Gabby by the waist and put her on my lap.

“Happy Birthday!” I repeated for a million times while kissing her on both cheeks, non-stop.

“Mum! Enough!” she was giggling the whole time.

“I love you” I told her and she hugged me.

“I love you too mum” she said and it’s her time to shower me with kisses.

“I want to join” DK said and kissed me too.

“Me too!” Isabella said and next thing I know it, my little boys have joined as well.

My face feels numb after the kids bombarded me with their wet kisses (yes, it’s literally wet), but it feels so good. Actually, I find it really sweet of them. I cannot believe that my boys also joined in when they are the ones who don’t want to be kissed by me coz according to them, they are big boys now.

“Have you greeted your sister already?” I asked the kids and they nod at me.

“We have greeted noona awhile ago in their room mum…we barged in and sang the birthday song” Danny answered and I feel so proud because this small gesture only shows that even if they have a lot of misunderstandings, they love each other so much.

“They even gave me this mum” Gabby showed me a spongebob lego.

“Wow! Is this your gift to your noona guys?” I asked and they nod.

“That’s from our lego collection mum…but…we have agreed to just give it to noona since it’s her birthday” Russelle said and I looked at them with so much pride.

“I also gave unnie a ribbon mum…she doesn’t want to wear it though” DK followed and I smiled at her.

“Why is that?” I asked curiously.

“It’s going to be ruined mum…I just want to keep it” Gabby answered and I pulled her for a hug.

“I gave Gabby a ring mum...look at this” Isabella grabbed her sisters hand and showed me their rings.

“Wow! You guys really are so thoughtful” I told them and they giggled.

I can’t hide my happiness at all. I was really giggly while playing with my kids and I’m so touched with how they care about each other. It’s very thoughtful of them to give their sister a gift.

“Baby girl” I called Gabby and she looked at me with a bright smile on her face.

“Are you sure you don’t want to have a party?” I asked and she gave me a nod.

“Why is that?” I asked curiously.

Unlike the other kids, Gabby doesn’t want to have a big birthday party and it’s so weird actually. I mean, kids her age loves parties and gifts but my daughter’s view on it is really different.

“I’m already bored with all the parties mum…let’s just celebrate with only the nine of us…plus Bentley and Bunny” she told me and I sighed.

“Alright…what do you want to do later?” I asked and she looked at me with her be-ready-coz-I’m-going-to-drop-a-bomb look on her face.

“What is it?” I asked nervously.

Oh gosh! If she’s going to ask for me to buy her tons of dolls once again (she did that when she was still little), I’m going to break my neck already. It’s alright to buy one or two dolls, but five or more is just too much (she threw a fit inside a toy store and it left me with no choice, I just bought all the dolls that she wants just for her to stop crying).

“I want to have a dance mum…like what we did before” she said excitedly.

“So…we’ll put our disco ball once again…and then…I’m going to make kiddie cocktail …and some finger foods” I said and she nods.

“But I want to have a cake and a chocolate fountain” she said and I nod in agreement.

“OK…I’ll buy you a cake and we’ll have chocolate fondue…what else do you want madam?” I asked, making her chuckle.

“Nothing more mum” she said and I nod “Ah! I want the Aunties and Uncles to be here too!” she continued in a tone higher than her usual.

“Alright…I’m going to tell them later about it” I told her and she giggled.

My mind is thinking of a good way to break the news that I have to work for a while today to Gabby. I know that she’s going to be so disappointed, but I have to say it now for I’m already running out of time.

“Baby girl” I called her once again and she went near me.

“Is it OK if we’ll have the dance later this evening…instead of this afternoon?” I asked and she looked at me in confusion.

“Why mum?” she asked and I sighed.

“Baby girl…mum needs to work for a while” I answered and I can see that she’s disappointed.

“But don’t worry…I’ll be back after my meeting…I promise” I told her and she took a deep breath and gave out a sigh.

“You told me that you will not work today mum…why are you breaking it now?” her eyes are watery already and at that point, I know that I’m up for some trouble already.

“Baby girl…I’m really sorry…things got a little messed up in the office and I cannot say no to that meeting…I promise you that it’s not going to last long…and I have a feeling that dad will  be here….ALL DAY” I told her and I can see that she was somewhat good with that.

Honestly, I don’t know if Jiyong is going to work today or not, but what I do know now is that, I have to think of a good way to lift up my daughter’s spoiled mood (I hate it whenever I’m the one spoiling their mood, it makes my heart so heavy).

“It’s fine mum….you go to your office first …but make sure that you’ll be here early” Gabby said and I pulled her for a hug.

“Arasso birthday girl” I said and she looked at me in shock.

Well, I’m not that good in the Korean language and even though I can understand some of it, I don’t dare speak it because I’m afraid that I might say something wrong or people might not understand what I really wanna say (Railey and Daryl are good in speaking Korean already and it’s just so disappointing that I don’t have that tongue for the language).

“Mum! You spoke in Korean!” Gabby said and I laughed.

“I’m good…right?” I said and she giggled.

“Dad will be so happy to hear you talk like that” she said and I smiled at her.

“Let’s just keep it between us…your dad will just tease me to the max if he learns that I’m trying to speak Korean” I winked at her and she nods in agreement.

And with a smile on my daughter’s face, I get going. I’m telling you, my mood is not that good because this meeting really ruined my wonderful plan for today, but what can I do? This is my job, I have to attend to it or else, I’m doomed.

“This is so bad” I said while scanning the rack for a good outfit.

Seriously, why do I feel like I don’t have good clothes anymore? I mean,