August 5

Our most basic instinct is not for survival, but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member. Even knowing that my presence brought a shadow over the lives of my loved ones, I can’t regret the experiences I’ve had with them. They gave me life, becoming an integral part of my soul. They healed me when I was broken and somehow they recovered those parts of me, I thought was lost forever.

“I am scared” “What will we do now?” How about our kids? How will they live a normal life when we both know that they are in danger every single day of their lives?”

Those are the questions that I often ask Jiyong for these past few days already. After knowing that Lauren is once again on the roll of doing her evil deeds, my mind and heart just cannot be in peace anymore. I feel like, I’m waking up and sleeping with fear that in just a snap of a finger, one of my kids will just disappear and next thing I know it, they are being locked by that witch’s hands already. I’m really getting paranoid and not even one of my family members can calm me down. I’m a mother, and I will do anything to protect my children, but how?

“Babe….just put that there” I told Jiyong while putting things in a box.

“This is so hard” Jiyong said and I sighed.

“We have to do this….there’s no other way” I said and he hugged me by the neck from the back.

“We’ll get through this…I know it” he said and I just closed my eyes and hope that his words will come true.

Well, Jiyong and I have decided to move out from the house where we built our family and where the kids all grew up. It is really hard to leave the place that you call home and move to another. My husband and I hate this idea, but we have to do something to protect our family and for now, this is the only thing that we can think of.

We have considered and debated about a lot of things just to come up with this decision. I even told Jiyong that I want to bring the kids to my parents in the States because I know that they will be safer there, but of course, it’s not that easy and I just can’t leave the magazine house just like that. That’s why we just agreed upon moving out of our original house and moving to another place. Everything is rushed and we’re just so thankful that a lot of people helped us to make things possible in a flash.

“Are the kids already awake?” I asked while folding my clothes and putting them in a big box.

“I think they are…I can hear the boys playing in the living room already” Jiyong said while packing his things as well.

“Gosh! This is so ing hard!” I snapped out and kicked the box.

“Babe” Jiyong came near me and hugged me tightly.

“Jiyong…I don’t want this …it’s breaking me in pieces and I can’t handle it anymore…why would we have to move out and hide when we’re not even doing anything wrong?” I breakdown and I can feel that he is sharing the same feelings with me.

“Babe….we can’t do anything about it….I can’t answer your questions because I don’t know what to say as well….all I know is that we can turn this wheel once again sooner or later…..just hold on” he tried to be positive, but he failed for I’m not that convinced with what he said.

“What does she want? She wants to kill me…right? Fine! I’ll bite the bait and just let her get the best out of me! All I want is for her to leave you and our kids alone” I said and Jiyong looked at me in shock.

I’m throwing everything out already. In my mind, I’m done with it. I’m all ready to give whatever Lauren wants just for my family to be at peace again. I know that I’m being a quitter and my weak side is showing up with flying colors, but you can’t blame me. I want peace for my family and a normal life without fear and hiding.

“Why don’t you rest for a while and I’ll do this for you” Jiyong said and led me in bed.

“Babe….when will this end?” I asked and he just hugged me tight.

“ssshhh….just clear your mind from everything even just for a while” he begins to hum and it’s really making wonders for I feel so sleepy after a few minutes.

When I woke up, my things are already packed and all I can see is an empty room and a lot of boxes. Jiyong is really moving fast coz if I’m going to do it myself, it will definitely take me half day to put everything inside a box.

“Hey sissy!” Railey said the moment I walked out of our room.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with a smile on my face.

“Helping you guys pack” she answered.

Gosh! This is going to be harder now. I know that it’s really ty to see the people that you are used to living with for long years already, and just by thinking that I’ll be leaving Railey and Daryl is enough to make me feel miserable.

The Choi family is complete and TOP is helping Jiyong wrap our furniture, while our kids are playing non-stop. The Dong family came next, followed by Daesung and Seungri.

“Aigoo...this is so hard” Jiyong said while taking a rest from all the packing that he and the boys did.

“It is really hard Ji…I can’t even imagine you and ________ not being here…it’s just feels so empty” Daryl said and I hugged her arm.

“Not only that…they’ll be living so far away from us…I mean…an hour drive is already far…not like the five minute walk that we’re usually used to” Railey said and I nod in agreement.

“Girls…it’s better for them to leave this place….what do you want? They’ll leave this house or leave for the States?” TOP asked and I sighed.

“Gosh! Don’t even consider going to America…PLEASE! Not now!” Daryl said while rubbing her stomach.

Daryl’s baby bump is now a bit visible and I am so excited for her already. I promised that I’ll stay till she gives birth (it still depends on how things work out).

“Sis” Daryl hugged my arm.

“Don’t start…OK? I don’t want to leave with tears in my eyes” I told her and she giggled.

“Sis…are you really sure that Lauren won’t be able to track you there in your new place? I mean…I hate to be this negative…but…we all know her…she is a real and she’s like a human tracker who is much better than a hound dog” Daryl said, making us laugh.

“I’m not even sure if we’re really safe there…but…as far as I know…everything’s planned out well and no one from our neighbors know that we are going to live there” I told them and they sighed.

“That’s really hard…I mean…the kids are now going to be homeschooled…then….it’ll be so risky for us to even go there because that might follow us or something” Railey said and I sighed.

Well, Jiyong and I have talked about the kids’ schooling and we have decided to just get the big girls homeschooled like their brothers, for safety. Yes, we know that this is not a good thing, but we don’t have a choice, we have to make sure that our kids are safe and them going to school is not the safest thing now.

“By the way…are you going to work later this afternoon?” Daryl asked while carrying Karielle.

“I might go….I want to check the printing….are things cool there?” I asked and she nods.

I wasn’t able to work for two days because I was so paranoid that I don’t want to leave my kids with only their bodyguards and nannies. Actually, we’ll be having a lot of people in our new house because we hired five in-house nannies plus our nine bodyguards (yeah, it’s a lot. Our security is like of the first family of this country).

“Brady is doing a great job in handling all our affairs…he’s doing all the negotiations for the next clients and I can really say…he’s so damn good in talking that none of the prospects are backing out” Railey said and I smiled.

I don’t know, but after Brady saved Karielle from his sister, I feel like I am obligated to be kind to him. I mean, who wouldn’t be kind to someone  who saved your love ones? And in all fairness to that guy, he’s really helping us with his sister and it’s not that easy to turn your back to a person who you have blood relations to.

“Is it just me or did I really see a smile on your face after I talk about Brady?” Railey asked and I hissed.

“I’m just happy that things are going well” I told her and she smirked.

“Don’t fool me…I know you sis…are you going soft on him already? FYI…even if he saved your daughter…all of this can still be an act….so don’t you dare give a bit of your trust to him” Daryl said and I sighed.

Fine! Brady is slowly filling that trust box with all the good deeds that he has done for me and my family, but I’m still in my alert mode if ever he do something evil.

“Gosh sis! Don’t trust people…not now that are happening to you” Railey said and I nod.

It is really hard to give your trust to some random person, and I know that so well. My guards are still up and I’m aware of my surroundings now more than ever. There is no time for me to meddle and fo