G-dragon's POV

(Night before)

“You’ll be going to Japan two days from now…right?” Teddy hyung asked and all I did was stare at him.

I was actually shocked when I heard that, even if I’m aware that we’re going to Japan one of these days. All I can think of is my kids and wife. I know that they will be sad about me being away for weeks, most especially, the twins will be celebrating their birthday soon. Actually, if I’m going to count the times that haven’t attended my kids’ birthday parties, you’ll get shock for its numbers are really high. You can pretty much count the times that I was there in their parties. I can’t do anything about it though, for it’s already in the past and I’m sure they can understand it.

“AISH!”

“OMO! Jiyong-ah! What is happening to you?” TOP hyung asked.

“Hyung…I don’t want to leave…I mean…yeah….this promotion is important…but…the twins’ birthday will be next week and ________ will throw a party for them and there’s a possibility of me not being there for we will be dead busy in Japan” I told him and he sighed.

“I know that feeling…but we don’t have a choice…after all…they’re used to this already…if I were you…tell your kids about this trip ahead of time so that they won’t be shocked the moment they wake up and finds out that you’re not there” he said and the boys nod in agreement.

________ had been very open to me about this “You’re missing a lot of important occasions” thing and I’m really feeling guilty as time goes by. Just take my daughters ballet recital yesterday, it was really impossible for me to make it but I’m really thankful that the members and the whole team is very supportive and we made everything in a fast pace. The production team even had to cut down some sets just for us to finish in time. I’m really happy that I made it to the recital and I even got to perform with my kids. I was even clueless that they are called ballerinas already.

“Jiyong…I called you here because I can see and feel that you are being bugged by something” YG hyung said when he called me in his office.

“Hyung…I just don’t know if I’m being a good father to my children and a good husband to my wife” I said and he smiled at me.

“Aigoo…it seems like yesterday…you’re just roaming around here…rapping with your hip hop clothes on and now…look at you…you’re worrying about being a father and husband” he said and I smirked.

“You see Jiyong…marriage and kids are really a lot…it’s a responsibility that we can never brush off if we want to…honestly…I really admire you for you were able to manage your family and work all at the same time…why are you even doubting yourself?” he asked and I sighed.

“I don’t know…my busy schedule just won’t let me spend time with my children…actually….I don’t have problems with ________ for I can see her anytime I want coz we’re working in one building together…but my kids…they’re demanding for my time and I can’t even give it to them” I answered.

“I guess…this question will make you realize things” he said and I looked at him curiously.

“What’s more important to you? Work or family?” he asked and my mind just went blank.

Truth is, both are important to me. It’s just that, my family is more important. I don’t know, I want both of them but with how it looks now, I guess I really have to choose and my answer is already given. I won’t give up my family just for fame and money.

“Hyung…I know that you know my answer already” I told him and he chuckled.

“Jiyong…it’s about weighing what’s more important…if you feel like you’re already as a father…take a break from work and stay at home with your kids…if you’re already good with it and your kids are sick of you always hanging around with them…then go back and work…that’s what I do…and look at me now…I’m still standing…I’m still doing the things that I love most” he said and it really enlightened me.

I’m pretty sure that I’ll surpass this dilemma and sooner or later, I’ll figure out the real formula to this problem of mine. But for now, I guess I just have to things up and tell my kids that I’ll be gone for weeks.

When I got home, the kids and even ________ is already sleeping and she even fell asleep on the couch because of waiting for me. This is one reason why I love going home, it’s that warm and touching feeling when you know that your wife is waiting for you to arrive and she has saved food for you to eat if you’re hungry.

“Babe?” ______ called and sat up.

“Oh! Did I wake you up?” I asked and she shook her head.

“Have you eaten already?” she asked while rubbing her eyes that made me smile for she looks like a little kid.

“I’m actually starving…I have forgotten to eat awhile ago” I answered and she immediately stood up from the couch, gave me a peck on the lips and head to the kitchen.

“Babe…just….go to our room and sleep…I can do that” I told her when I walked in the kitchen.

“No…I’m fine…I’ll just heat this up and while I’m doing this…relax and rest your tired muscles” she said and I hugged her from the back.

“How can I thank you enough?” I asked while burying my face on the crook of her neck.

“Just continue being a good husband and dad” she answered and I kissed her shoulder.

“Am I really a good husband and father?” I asked and she turned to look at me.

“Kwon Jiyong…you are the perfect husband and father….why do I have a feeling that you don’t believe me?” I asked and I smirked.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you…it’s just that…I feel like I’m missing a lot and I’m lacking some fatherly traits” I answered and she sighed.

“You know what? Just take a seat and wait for your food... then…we’ll talk about that” she said and I leaned in for a kiss.

I know that she’s going to tell me that I’m just thinking way too much and what I have in mind is really just bull, but I’m sure that I’ll get some enlightenment from her.

“What’s with this sudden dilemma babe?” she asked while watching me eat.

“Well…you know that I’ll be going to Japan days from now…right?” I asked and she nods “I just realized that I’d be missing another birthday party of our kids…it’s just making me feel bad for you can only count the times that I’ve attended their parties…and what’s hurting me is that…even though I always break my promises to them…they still beli