July 10

True love is not how you forgive, but how you forget. It’s not what you see, but what you feel. Not how you listen, but how you understand, and not how you let go, but how you hold on. True love, is loving someone even with their worse faults and flaws. It does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

“I am a good wife. I know I am”, those are the words that were stuck in my head the moment I opened my eyes. I don’t even know why and how it entered my mind, but it came running and playing inside my head over and over again. I had this weird dream wherein I’m chasing Jiyong down a long road and even if I keep on calling him, he wouldn’t even look back. I cried like a baby when he disappeared and when I saw him again, he’s already with Anne and her son.

OK. I know that my dream is really one heck of a nightmare, but I’m counting it as God’s way of telling me to stop thinking about Anne and her son. I’ve realized that I’m already being affected by them BIG TIME and it’s going out of proportion already.

Waking up with tears rolling down my cheeks happens rarely to me. I guess, my dream really made a big impact on me that even in my unconsciousness, I can feel pain. Gosh! My eyes are about to pop already and it’s just so crazy!

“Where is he?” I asked myself when I saw an empty space beside me.

As far as I know, Jiyong is free this morning till late afternoon for their recording will start by six in the evening.

“Shoot!” I got out of bed right away and ran to the bathroom.

I suddenly remembered that I’m going to test if I’m pregnant or not. My heart is thumping while I’m doing it. I actually don’t know what to expect, although I can already feel that it’s going to be negative.

“Please….please…please” I said while sitting beside the sink, waiting for the lines to appear.

After waiting for a few minutes, the time has come and I’m literally shaking in nervousness and excitement. Half of me is wanting it to be positive, and the other is wanting to be negative. So with my shaky hands, I closed my eyes and reached for it.

“One…two…t….three!” I counted and opened my eyes to see it.

Well, as I’ve expected, it turned out to be negative. I felt bad because somehow I’m expecting it to be positive and knowing that my husband is also expecting the same thing, it’s a little sad for me. But then again, this is just fine coz I can still work my off and prepare for the magazine’s anniversary issue without thinking of a baby inside me.

With the result in hand, I walked out of our room to tell Jiyong about it. At first I was a bit hesitant on telling him for I don’t want to spoil his day, but I’ve realized that it’ll be better if he already knows it for him not to expect already.

“ARF! ARF! ARF!”

“WHAT THE HECK!” I shouted when a puppy barked the moment I walked in the living room.

“MUM!” the kids shouted and I can feel that they are so happy.

“What is happening here?” I asked while walking slowly towards the couch.

“It’s OK mum….she’s kind” Russelle grabbed my hand and led me to the couch where all the kids are, including Karielle.

“Where did that dog came from?” I asked while looking at the huge Saint Bernard puppy.

“From dad mum” DK answered and called the dog to come to her.

Wait. Let me just recap all our conversations yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. OK. I can’t remember my husband telling me that he’s going to buy a dog or any pet. What is Jiyong thinking?

“Where is your dad?” I asked while the kids are so busy patting and their new pet.

“He’s getting the other puppy mum” Gabby answered and my jaw fell in shock.

“Another puppy?” I asked and she nods at me.

“I know it’s hard to believe mum…we were also shocked” Isabella said.

“What is your dad even thinking?” I asked and the girls shrugged.

“Maybe he’s missing Gaho mum” Danny answered while being by the puppy on the face.

Well, Gaho passed away a few years ago because of his old age and our whole family is still missing him badly. That big boy has been with us through it all and it still hurts whenever I remember him not being here already. Of course, Jiyong is the most affected one for Gaho is his first son and he became his companion in the loneliest days of his life.

“Here’s the other one kids!” Jiyong walked in the living room while carrying another big puppy.

Actually, I am really happy to see new pets at home for I’m really missing to have a dog around. But, this is not really part of our plan.

“Oh babe!” he said and placed the dog down, making the kids run just to get a hold of it.

“Jiyong…..what is this?” I asked and he leaned in for a kiss.

“Morning!” he said and sat beside me.

“I’m sorry for keeping this a secret…but yeah…I bought two dogs for us to take care of” he pulled me closer to him and leaves soft kisses on my shoulder.

“No! Karielle…not the tail please” I said when our youngest daughter is about to put the dog’s tail in .

“This is going to be crazy babe…you should’ve told me that you’re planning for this” I told him and he hugged me tightly.

“I want it to be a surprise” he said and I looked at him weirdly.

“Yeah…you surprised me for I’m already going crazy now” I said and he laughed.

“Haven’t you noticed? I bought Saint Bernards…aren’t you being reminded of Schu and Fifi?” he asked and I remembered my lovely dogs.

Years ago, I had this two beautiful and humongous dogs named Fifi and Schu (they’re Saint Bernards as well). They are the ones who kept me company when I was still living a boring life back home. I treated them as my own kids but like Gaho, they passed away because of old age as well.

“I’m missing them so much…and Gaho as well” I said and he sighed.

“How I wish that big boy is still alive” he said and I looked at him warmly.

“Baby! Let’s not be emotional here….fine….I’m good with those two already” I said and he smiled and kissed me.

I guess it’s time for the kids to experience how to take care of a pet. This will surely teach them how to be responsible and I’m pretty sure that they will do well in it.

“Mum and dad will borrow this one first” Jiyong said and carried one puppy to the couch.

“Oh gosh! You’re so fat!” I said while hugging the puppy.

“I really picked the ones who are in real good shape babe…this one is a girl” he said and double checked it.

“What should we name them?” I asked the kids.

“Is this a girl?” DK asked and lift the puppy’s leg to check it.

“OH! NO” she said awkwardly, making me chuckle.

“I want to name this one…R2D2” Danny said while patting the puppy.

“That is so not going to make the list” Gabby said in her y tone.

“It’s cool!” Danny defended and I can sense a fight brewing.

“Any more suggestions?” I asked and the kids kept quiet.

While our kids are thinking of a good name, I’ve realized that things are a bit ironic. I mean, I just found out that I’m not pregnant and then here comes the puppies, ready to be taken care off. They can be our babies for now.

“Let’s just name him spot” Russelle said, breaking the silence.

“But it’s too common!” Gabby said.

“AH! Gabrielle said and we all looked at him “Babe!” he said and I’m the first one to shake my head.

“No baby boy…that won’t do…dad and I are calling each other by that name and I don’t want a dog coming to me when it is really your dad that I’m calling” I told them, causing laughter.

“Aigoo…I can already imagine that” Jiyong said and I laughed so hard.

I don’t know where Gabrielle got that, but it’s really hilarious. Once we name the dog “Babe”, there is a big possibility that instead of Jiyong, the dog will be the one coming near me whenever I call him.

“Let’s just name that dog Victory! What do you think?” Jiyong said and I looked at him with this are-you-freaking-serious look on my face.

My husband is once again thinking of Seungri and even though he says it or not, I know that he got that name from Seungri’s. Gosh! Jiyong really loves bullying their youngest member.

“But that’s Uncle Seungri’s name…right mum?” Isabella asked and I nod.

“Dad! I don’t want that name! Uncle Seungri is not a dog!” Isabella said in anger.

As usual, Isabella is once again defending her favorite Uncle of all. It’s just so crazy because we all know that Jiyong and Seungri are a team when it comes to extreme bullying and teasing. They tease and bully each other like there’s no tomorrow, but their love for each other is just so amazing.

“Aigoo…you are really defending him” Jiyong said with a little jealousness in his voice.

“Babe…just accept it…Seungri owns your daughter’s heart” I teased and he looked at me in disbelief.

“Yah! I’m her father…how come her heart is owned by someo