July 30

I have not only given my heart away to him, I have also dedicated and given away my soul, my prayers and my very being to him. With the language of love, our hearts also learnt the language of sharing, bonding, fighting, teasing and making up with each other. All the treasures and luxuries in the world would mean nothing without him. He is the jewel in my life.

For two days, love is all I breathe and live for. My husband is all I think about and his love is just so overwhelming, that there are moments where I find myself smiling for no reason at all and in the end, I’ll realize that I was being reminded about him and the sweet things that he had done.

Fine! Call me a love freak or whatsoever, but this trip is really the BEST! This just tops my list and I’m so looking forward to another trip like this (Jiyong promised me that we’ll try to do this every now and then).

It’s my birthday and I’m sharing it with my little guy, Danny. Well, we were supposed to be going home yesterday, but we extended till the morning because we are so dead tired with all the things that we did. Just imagine touring almost every tourist spots in Macau, it’s really draining. It was really fun though. Jiyong and I experienced the whole place in full swing.

I woke up with the sweet aroma of vanilla and even if I’m still sleepy, I forced myself to open my eyes to see what’s going on. As I’ve expected, my husband is in his romantic mode once again and he already had our breakfast ready with chocolates and champagne (I don’t want to drink early in the morning actually) and vanilla scented candles. Wait! I forgot the huge bouquet of flowers lying beside me in bed.

“Morning birthday girl” Jiyong walked and sit beside me in bed.

“Baby!” I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Aigoo” he said while my back.

“I just want to hug you for a while” I told him and didn’t let go.

“Do what you want…I don’t mind at all” he said and hugged me as well.

All I can say is, we have talked about our relationship already and we are so eager to bring that fire back in our marriage. This trip is really a good way to freshen up and somewhat breathe. We both know that there is still a huge possibility that once we go back to our reality again, things will go back to normal, but we assured each other that we will not forget about the things that we have talked about in Macau (all the promises and whatnots).

“Babe…what do you want to receive today?” he asked while I’m munching some strawberries.

“mmmm? All I want is to go home and see our kids…..party with them and just have fun” I answered and he pulled me closer to him.

“We are going home in a few hours…are you ready to face reality once again?” he asked and I sighed.

“Well…I’m going to be honest with you” I said and looked at him intently “I’m not” I continued while shaking my head “If only we can just live like this with our kids…the freedom and privacy….I’m gonna miss it” I finished and he caressed my cheek.

“I’m thinking of something…but…I’m brushing it off my mind for now coz I know that it will really our minds up and I don’t want you to think of so many things today because” he said and reached for my hand “Because it’s your birthday and you should be thought and worry free” he kissed my hand and I sighed.

“Seriously babe…what is it?” I asked curiously.

“If I tell you that I want you to quit your job already…will you quit?” he asked and I stared at him for I don’t know how long.

I was totally speechless. I don’t know what to think and what to answer him. Yes, I’ve said that I’m ready to give up my career just for our family, but this is just too sudden for me and I need time to think things through.

“I told you before that I am going to quit if you want me to…now…Jiyong…tell me…do you want me to quit my job already?” I asked and it’s his time to go speechless.

“Truth is…I really want to…thing is…I know that you are not yet ready for it yet…you may be telling me that you are already good in quitting your job….but..I can see and feel that you are still having second thoughts about it” he answered and I sighed.

“But babe….if this is what you want…then so be it! Like what Appa said before…one of us should sacrifice and it’ll really be me” I told him while caressing his cheek.

“Actually….I’m thinking of quitting Big Bang as well” he said after a short silence and I looked at him in shock.

“What?” I asked.

I don’t know what’s really going on inside my husband’s head, but what he just said has ring a bell and I don’t know what to say or even how to react to it. I mean, I don’t want him to quit Big Bang, not now that they are going really strong and even after so many years in the business, they are still being loved by people. Jiyong leaving the band will be the greatest slap to all mankind (I know that a lot of hearts will surely be broken).

“Babe…are you hearing yourself?” I asked and he sighed.

“Look ________...I’m not quitting the showbiz industry…I’m just planning to wrap up that celebrity status and just be a producer...I mean…YG hyung is offering me to handle YG Entertainment in the States and the members are also being offered to work there as well…so if they feel like considering it…the five of us will still be together” he said and I looked at him unsurely.

“Babe…I know that you are not ready to give up Big Bang yet….don’t deny it coz I can feel it ….this whole…you quitting Big Bang and just producing is not yet the right thing to do…while me….quitting my job is the right thing” I told him and he pulled me for a hug.

“This is why I don’t want to tell you what I’m thinking” he said and  I looked at him “You are going to think about this thing a lot once again…that it’ll eat your brains up and will leave you drained for the whole day…babe…please..don’t think about it at all for today…get me?” he leaned in for a kiss and I smiled at him.

As a matter of fact, I’m not going to think about it at all for I know that it’s not right to even worry about it yet. I mean, yes, sooner or later, one of us should sacrifice our careers, but for now, we just have to enjoy it and make use of the remaining time that we have.

After breakfast, we were able to roam around Senate Square for a while and shop for the kids. Of course, we bought Danny his ultimate wish for his birthday (a new game console) and it seems like it’s not only my son who is going to enjoy it, for Jiyong is also all smiles when I agreed that we should give Danny what he wished for (Jiyong bought a lot of games and I can already imagine him and the boys playing non-stop).

“I’m not ready to go yet” I told him while bumming in bed.

“Aigoo…change now and we’ll go to the airport already” he said and I turned my head to his direction and gave a pout.

“OK” he said and scooped me up from bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m going to dress you since you’re too lazy to do anything” he said with his my-strategy-in-getting-some-lovin-is-so-great look.

And with that being said, he was the one who chose the outfit that I’ll be wearing. Of course, we had a little hanky panky on the side and all my mind can think of that moment is that, I’m going to be pregnant for sure in the days to come.

“Oh gosh! I’m going to miss this place” I told my husband while we’re in the cab.

“We’ll sure do…Macau is already on my list of possible places to migrate to” he said and I looked at him and sighed.

“I thought we’re not going to think about those things first?” I asked and he nods.

“I’m just saying