May 28

Love can never grow old. Locks may lose their brown and gold. Cheeks may fade and hollow grow, but the hearts that love will know, never winter’s frost and chill, summer’s watch is in them still.

What is love? Hmm…in a slum book teenagers would always write; love is blind, love is like a rosary full of mysteries, love is you and me (I always answer that slum book questions with these phrases and will always think that it’s cool). In my book, love is when you feel so right with everything even if it’s not and if you see the world positively even when a lot of things in it have negativity in them. And of course, love for me is my family coz they are the ones that’s keeping this heart of mine warm and pumping.

Waking up is sweeter in the arms of the one you love. Well, Jiyong and I haven’t sleep yet for we made love till the sun rises (I mean this literally) and it’s just the sweetest and most romantic thing of all. We even went out our balcony to watch it with only a blanket covering the both of us (this ain’t wild, right?). Our cold war was changed into a very warm love and I’m just so happy that we’re fine now.

“Babe” Jiyong called while hugging me from the back.

“mmmm?”

“Nothing…I love you” he said and hugged me tighter.

His warmth can really bring me to the heavens and the way he says I love you is really one of a kind, for it brings chills down my spine. All my innards are flipping and my heart is beating so fast and hard, and my mind just can’t take the sweetness anymore.

“I love you too” I turned to look at him and he kissed my forehead.

I don’t know, but Jiyong looks a little bothered. I feel like something is bugging him for I’ve caught him staring in space and in deep thoughts for so many times awhile ago and I know my husband, this act of him really means something and I want to know what that is.

“Babe” I looked at him intently.

“mmm” he stared at me with his beautiful brown eyes that can make you forget whatever you want to say.

“Is something wrong?” I asked and folds on his forehead appeared.

“Huh? What made you ask that?” he looked at me weirdly and I sighed.

“Nothing…it’s just that…I don’t know…I can feel like you’re being bugged by something coz you’re so quiet and in deep thoughts…and you keep on saying sorry….it’s just weird” I answered and he caressed my cheek.

“This is nothing….I guess…I’m just thinking way too much about my performance as a father and a husband…and babe” he cupped my face with both hands “I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve done…and for all the wrong things that I’ll do in the future” he continued and my  curiosity grew more.

Seriously, I’m having a bad feeling about this. My gut feel is telling me that something is going on and he’s just hiding it from me. The first thing that entered my mind was him leaving Big Bang or he and the boys already decided to call it quits (Big Bang disbanding will be my worst nightmare. I’m sure all the fans are in the same boat with me). But then, if that’s the case, Railey and Daryl will tell me about it for their husbands are so open to them when it comes to work (Jiyong and I are not that open about things that involves work for we have sworn that work has no place in our household and it will just stay in our office and in his case, their studio).

“Babe…if you want to tell me something…just spit it out…you know that I’ll listen…right?”I looked at him intently and he sighed.

“I told you…this is nothing” he pinched my nose and I smirked.

“Is it about Big Bang? Are you guys breaking up already?” I asked and he chuckled.

“Babe…the members and I haven’t even thought of disbanding…and…do you think we’ll end whatever we have just like that? And didn’t we promise our fans that we’ll stay as Big Bang as long as we can still stand on stage and perform?  We don’t have plans in breaking that promise” he told me and my inner fangirl gave out a sigh of relief.

“Thank God! I thought my fangirl world will crush already” I muttered and he chuckled.

“Aigoo…you’re really a VIP...you can breathe normally now…that fangirl heart of yours can rest” he said and I laughed.

“Seriously babe….what’s bugging you?” I asked and he looked at me and sighed.

“I’m just guilty” he answered and I looked at him weirdly.

Gosh! He’s still guilty with his no show at the twins’ birthday party days ago and I’m feeling bad for him coz it’s still haunting him.

“Look babe…if you’re still guilty about the whole “you breaking your promise” thing…brush it off your mind for it’s all done now and you have made up for it already….our kids had a blast yesterday and that’s already enough” I told him and he sighed and hugged me.

I don’t know, but I still feel that he’s hiding something from me. I’m dying to know what that is and I’m praying that it’s nothing serious.

We stayed at the balcony for hours I guess the sleep monster is not planning to hunt us yet. The silence between us is not deafening at all for the way he stares at me is enough to tell me how much he loves me and I can really feel what he’s feeling through those stares. If only time can stop, I will really stop it.

“Ah! Did you know that Isabella have this guy friend named Aiden?” he asked randomly and I looked at him weirdly.

“I know that kid…he’s Isabella’s dancing partner…actually…his Omma and I are friends...how did you know him?” I asked curiously and he sighed.

“Yesterday…I got shocked when the kids started talking about marriage and dating…then DK mentioned this Aiden and I asked Isabella who this boy is” he answered and I rolled my eyes at him.

From the way I see it, Jiyong got alarmed and totally jealous with his daughter’s possible boyfriend. Well, Aiden and Isabella are close and that little boy has told me that he likes m