Waking up with a lot of things in mind is really hard, most especially when you don’t know what to do. Last night, my wife and I nearly lost our minds for we are about to make a big decision that will surely change our lives forever. I am happy for ________, but at the back of my mind, I want to get angry because I feel like, I’m holding her back from what she likes the most. My wife has sacrificed a lot of things just to be with me and I don’t want her to sacrifice one of her biggest dreams for my sake again. If she’s going to tell me that she wants to move to America, I will let her and the kids go there. After all, my in-laws are living there anyway, and my whole family will be out of Lauren’s eyes already.

“Morning babe!” _________ greeted while cooking pancakes.

“Morning” I hugged her from behind and kissed her shoulder “How are you feeling now?” I asked and she sighed.

“I’m good” she looked at me and answered.

“Are you sure?” I asked and she turned to face me.

“Babe…do I look horrible to you?” she asked and I chuckled.

“You look beautiful” I said while pinching her cheeks “But…” I stared deep into her eyes “But….I know that a lot of things are running in that head of yours” I finished and she hugged me.

“I’m trying to brush all of it off” she said and I hugged her tightly.

“Aigoo…we’re going to be just fine” I told her and she sighed.

“Don’t you believe me?” I asked and she chuckled.

“I believe you” she said and gave me a peck on the lips.

_________ may look and act cool, but I know that deep inside her, she’s being torn. Her mind and heart is in the middle of a debate once again and in times like these, all she needs is someone who can enlighten her and give her damn good advices. Thing is, I’m also not in my right mind and I don’t even know if I can give her the right advice.

“By the way…did you guys know what date it is today?” ________ asked in the middle of breakfast.

“It’s August…hmmmm…..wait!” DK said and pointed at Isabella “Is it your birthday unnie?” she asked, making her sister look at her weirdly.

“DK…my birthday is tomorrow...how can you forget that?” Isabella asked.

“Sorry unnie…I’m getting all mixed up with the dates” DK told her sister and Isabella consoled her by rubbing her sister’s back.

Aigoo. I almost forgot about my birthday. Is this a sign of aging or I just have a lot of things in mind that even my own birthday is being forgotten by me already? AISH!

“What do you want to do tomorrow babe?” _________ asked while feeding Karielle.

“I don’t know…let’s all got out and have some bond time? I mean…throwing a party really eats up a lot of time and energy” I told her and she nods.

“But….we’re already used to throwing a party for you and Isabella” she said and I looked at my daughter who is pretending that she’s not listening, but truth is, she’s all ears to our conversation.

“Isabella” I called and my daughter and she looked up at me “Do you want to have a party?” I asked and she just stared at me.

It seems like our kids are really getting sick of parties already because they don’t feel like throwing one anymore. Gabby had a small party days ago and then DK told us that she just wants to go to Disney Land for her birthday next month, and now, Isabella is having second thoughts if she wants to have a party or not.

“I don’t know dad….all I want is to enjoy that day” Isabella answered and I look like a proud dad upon hearing that.

I’ve noticed that as days pass by, my girls are becoming more mature and they’re acting like one as well. Thing is, I’m not ready for that change yet and in my head, I have to pull them a few notches down just to make them stay as kids even just for a while.

“Are you planning of something again?” I asked my wife who is in front of her laptop already, right after breakfast.

“Nope!” she answered, making me curious all of a sudden.

“What are you doing?” I asked and gasped with what I saw.

News about her promotion is all over the internet, and once again, she’s reminded of all the things that she’s been brushing off her mind all this time. Not only that, my wife’s mesh fashion is being a hot topic as well. Aigoo. Seeing pictures of her in that gown is a bit disturbing, and reading the netizen’s comments is totally weird. Our kiss? Well yes, it’s also a hot topic. To wrap it all up, my wife and I are being feasted upon on the internet after a long time of not being noticed.

“This is good” ________ said while looking at a picture of her on the red carpet with the side of her right showing.

“What’s good in that?” I asked and she chuckled.

“My hair looks good…just look at it babe” she said and I hissed.

“Yah! All I can see in this picture is the side of your ” I told her and she pinched my nose.

“In all fairness to me…my s are not that sloppy yet” she said, making me look at her weirdly.

“Sloppy?” I asked and she gave me a nod.

“Didn’t you know? Mothers who have fed their children gets sloppy s after…most especially…when they have a lot of kids like me….just imagine seven babies…umm…yeah…you know what feeding is of course….so I don’t have to tell you in detail what our kids have done to me” she answered and winked.

“They it” I told her out of consciousness, making her crack up in laughter.

Aigoo. I don’t even know why we’re talking about and feeding all of a sudden. All I know is that the whole world almost saw my wife’s body and it’s just a little bothersome for there are a lot of guys who will once again make a move on her.

“Mrs. Kwon looks like a Ms. even with seven kids” she read out loud.

“_______ Kwon unleashed the goddess in her”

“ goddess?” I asked with a weird expression on my face.

“Yeah…written in bold letters” she said proudly.

“Yah! They are seeing you as a goddess and you’re good with it?” I asked and she just smiled at me.

“Babe…I can be a goddess in their eyes…but this whole thing…is only for you” she said and I sighed.

“You can really get out of everything” I told her and she laughed.

Aigoo. If only I know that my wife’s outfit last night will make her a goddess, I should’ve given her my coat to cover her body well.

“G-dragon’s wife flaunted her perfect curves on the red carpet”

“G-dragon hands down his fashionista crown to his wife”

“These are good liners” _______ said while reading each and every article she can see with her name on it.

“It is…but babe…it’s still a bit disturbing” I told her and she smirked.

“You are not used to it…that’s why” she said and opened a picture of us kissing.

The moment I saw it, my heart jumped in joy. It’s actually our first time to ever kiss in front of the press and fans, in a very passionate way. Although we were caught making out by some fans once, this is really the first time that we showed so much affection for each other in public.

“What a lucky ” ________ read the comment that caught her eye.

“Their love for each other is unconditional…what a perfect couple”

“I love that” I told her and she nods in agreement.

“How I wish Jiyong can kiss me like that as well”

“Just imagine yourself in her shoes people....she can have him in reality and we can always have him in our dreams” she continued reading and we burst out in laughter.

“I don’t care if they’ll have dozens of kids or even a hundred….they make good looking ones….go make some more Kwons!” I read out loud, making my wife chuckle.

This whole thing is getting us out of our heads and I’m glad that my wife is trying to take things coolly. Well, I know that once she goes to work later, she’ll be bugged by the thought of her promotion again and it’s just so hard to even think of a good move to make, to somewhat help her make a good decision.

“Are you going to work later?” ________ rested her head on my shoulder.

“I need to rehearse for my comeback…remember…all will be seen tomorrow” I told her and she looked up at me with a smile on her face.

“You can do it! Babe…I know that it’s really hard to perform alone when you’re so used to having four more people on that big stage…but I want you to remember…that we are ALL going to cheer for you tomorrow” she told me and I kissed her forehead.

Well, tomorrow is THE day. I’ll be releasing a solo album once again and will be doing promotions alone. The members are very supportive though, and they even helped me with producing. The four guys have a featuring on my album, which made it more special. I don’t know, maybe after this, I’ll think of retiring from being a singer already.

“Babe” I called and she opened her eyes and looked at me.

“What if….after this album…I tell you… “hey…I’m going to retire from singing and being an idol already”…what will you do…or react?” I asked and she just stared at me blankly.

My wife is a die-hard VIP and her heart will surely break once Big Bang disbands, but then again, the boys and I have been considering this idea for a long time already. We are not getting younger and as years go by, a lot of young groups are coming out and it’s just so hard to keep up with them. Yes, Super Junior, 2PM and many more is still in the business, but I’m sure that all of us are already thinking of getting out of the idol circle already.

“Babe…don