September 2

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. People come, people go—they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.

This is it! We’ll be leaving today and it’s just so hard to even gather my thoughts up. Yesterday’s events are really emotional and totally heartbreaking but in one way or another, we have enjoyed our last day here in Seoul and it’ll be in our memories forever.

I told everybody that we don’t want them to send us off at the airport because it’s just going to be another dramatic and super emotional moment for all of us (I know that they won’t obey). Jiyong and I have already talked about our seating arrangement inside the plane (who’s gonna sit with whom). Our bags are packed and it’s just waiting for us to pick them all up. Our furniture’s here at home are all covered with white cloth already. It’s just so sad to think that we’ll leave our wonderful and newly bought house this early (I actually thought that we’ll be living here for ten to fifteen more years).

“Babe” Jiyong called out from his closet.

“mmmm?”

“Can you give me a hand here please!” he answered and I went to where he is right away.

It’s a bit shocking to see Jiyong already awake early in the morning for he’s not a morning person at all. Of course, he is awake this early coz he couldn’t sleep last night and all he did was watch television and listen to music till the sun rise. As a matter of fact, both of us weren’t able to sleep well last night, although I’m really trying to get some nap coz our baby needs it and I just can’t go on today with a sleepy mind and body.

“What is it?” I asked while looking around his empty closet.

“I don’t want to bring these things already” he said and I looked at the contents of the box in front of him.

“Those are your awards” I told him and he gave me a nod.

OK. So, Jiyong is not planning to bring his awards with him in America and it’s a bit weird, coz he’s even the one who told me that he can’t leave without seeing those awards for it gives him happiness all the time and now, he doesn’t wanna bring it.

“Why? I mean…you told me that you’ll bring those awards wherever you are….why is it all of a sudden….you don’t want to bring them anymore?” I asked curiously and he just gave out a deep sigh.

“It’s just going to be an extra baggage babe…I’ll just ask Omma to keep these for me” he said while patting the big box.

“Babe” I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck “You can bring two or three of them…so that you can still see some of them…I know that your awards gives you happiness” I told him and he gave me a peck on the lips.

“It’s alright…I don’t need to get happiness from them starting tomorrow coz I know that you and our kids are gonna make me happy every second…minute and hour” he said with a smile on his face, earning a warm smile from me.

It seems like Jiyong doesn’t want to be reminded of the music industry as of the moment for he told mum and dad that he will not yet use the mini recording studio that they had made for them (dad is the one behind that mini studio) and now, he’s telling me that he doesn’t need to bring the “fruits of his labor” with him.

“What time are we leaving?” he asked while pushing a box outside the closet.

“We have to be there by four coz will leave by six in the evening” I answered and he sighed.

“It’s already eight in the morning…which means we have ten more hours left here in Seoul” he said and I caressed his cheek.

“Babe…do you really think that we will do well in America? I mean…we are going to experience being real and full time parents there for we’ll not have nannies to take care of the kids…mum and dad lives so far from us as well…that just means…we’ll really experience a real family life once we get there” I told him and he nods in agreement.

“I already know that our first weeks and months there will really be hard” he said and hugged me tightly “Don’t worry….we can do this” he said and kissed my temple.

This is one thing that Jiyong and I always do whenever we have worries and something is bothering us. We always think of the positive things instead of the negative ones coz if we’re going to worry about every little thing that comes in our minds, we will surely fall in the mental institution (like Lauren).

And because we’re so awake already, we’ve decided to just double check everything and run through our check lists in case we have forgotten to bring something.

“OK…so the dogs and these things need to be there earlier…Appa is going to get them later…and then…Omma and Dami-unnie will be going with us to the airport” I told Jiyong while counting the boxes in front of me.

“AISH! Why do they have to send us off?” he asked and I sighed.

“They don’t want to listen to me babe…I already told them that we can handle everything and there’s no need for them to send us off because it’s just going to be hard for all of us…but still…they insist…so…yeah…they’ll be going” I told him and he smirked.

“I don’t even want to cry later” he said and I chuckled.

“Do you want to bet?” I asked and he looked at me weirdly.

“Yaaaa….how can you still make a bet in this situation?” he asked and I laughed.

“First one to cry will be you…if I win…you’ll be doing all the chores for one whole week” I told him with my arms crossed across my chest.

This is really a crazy bet but this can also prevent him from crying coz I know that he will try his damn hardest not to cry (I just don’t want him to breakdown in front of everybody later).

“Call! If you cry first…you have to cook breakfast…lunch and dinner for us” he said and I froze in my place.

OK. So, my husband is making me do something impossible and that is, COOKING. Actually, I told him that if I still have some free time, I will enroll myself to a cooking class (for the nth time) in that way, I can cook for them without even crying in front of the stove because of frustration and disappointment (Omma told me that the easiest thing to do whenever no one is going to cook for us is to bring the kids out to eat but of course, I still want to feel like a real mum who cooks for her children).

“Jiyong…in case you have forgotten…the only food that I can cook is pancake and I still in it sometimes…what more cooking a full meal for lunch and dinner?” I asked and he laughed so hard.

“Aigoo” he said and pulled me closer to him.

“Does that only mean…I’m the one who’s gonna do all the cooking from now on?” he asked and I smiled at him.

“It seems like it” I answered carefully and grinned at him.

“AISH!” he said and sighed.

Well here in Seoul, Omma is the one cooking meals for our kids since we are always at the YG building and even if in our rest days, she will still come over just to cook (this is how lucky I am. I have the kindest mother in-law).

“Babe…don’t worry…I will learn how to cook and this time” I said and gave him a peck on the lips “I’m gonna take it seriously” I said with full hope.

“Yeah…right” he returned the kiss “Whatever” he finished and I just looked at him in disbelief.

“I will not let you my first ever dish” I told him and he just continued walking out of our room.

Gosh! I cannot believe that Jiyong has already lost faith that I can still do well in cooking. He’s my husband, he has to believe that I can do EVERYTHING! Oh well, I’m not that hopeful too. I know that it’ll take me a freakin good instructor to learn all about cooking.

After checking everything, I can finally go out of our room and see the kids. Well like the past few days, our kids are still in their gloomy and sad mood, which is already alarming for none of them are in their hyped modes and this is not normal at all.

“Babies!” I called out when I found no one in the living room.

“Jiyong!” I called but didn’t get any respond.

I have a feeling that Jiyong is talking with the kids once again and is lifting their moods up. It’s just so hard and my husband is the only one who can handle these kinds of things (I get really emotional right away whenever I hear them say “I don’t want to go mum”, coz it’s really breaking my heart).

“Hey guys!” I said when I found them inside the girls’ room.

“Why are you all in here?” I asked and sit beside Karielle who is just so happy to see me.

“Mum…are we really going to leave later?” DK asked with a shaky voice.

As I’ve expected, Jiyong and I are once again in the hot seat which means we are obligated to answer whatever questions our kids ask us. It is really hard to tell them the reality (we are going to leave everybody here and it’s just going to be us and them for the next days and years to come, without their Halmeoni, Harabeoji, Aunties and Uncles).

“Yes baby girl…we are gonna leave by four later this afternoon” I answered while caressing her