December 22

Life is a random lottery of meaningless tragedies and a series of near escapes. Maybe, I was just a silly little girl when I walked into this. I built everything on him and let him take all of that away. I broke into the very shattered pieces I never imagined I could be. But from that moment on, I turned into the strongest, smartest, and most helpful girl I never knew or thought I could be.

What does cheating mean again? Well for me, it means a big sin that cannot and shouldn’t be forgiven but if you’re stupid enough to do it even if you know so well that you’ll hurt a lot of people and you have the balls to take it all in, you’ll definitely do it.

I don’t know why life keeps on giving me these -y problems that sometimes I don’t even know if it’s still normal. I told myself that I will just go with the flow and let it all come even if it’s eating my whole being up, but things are getting worse as time passes by and now, every is happening all over again.

Today is super hectic for all of us. Daryl and I are busy juggling the kids, Railey and pregnancy all at the same time. Well, our buttery sister, Railey has undergone lumpectomy surgery already and she’s all safe and getting well now. I don’t know how she was able to handle it, but she’s really brave and I must say, she’s an idol when it comes to these things for she didn’t even show nervousness at all. Can you believe it, she even asked Daryl to put make-up on her minutes before she went to surgery though her reason why she wants it freaked us all out (she wants to put make-up on so that if things go wrong and God will already call her up in heaven, she’ll just close her eyes beautifully while sporting a MAC eyeliner and eye shadow). Crazy!

“Morning sis!” Daryl greeted upon seeing me walk in the living room.

“Wow…I can smell something yummy!” I joined her on the couch as she watches our favorite series on television.

“Omma is cooking” she told me and I rushed to the kitchen right away to see my mother in-law.

Well, Omma and Dami-unnie extended their stay for another week to help us with things here. They are living in a hotel with Dami-unnie’s husband who is here in America for a business trip. Actually, TOP’s sister is also here to check her sister in-law and the kids (it’s a big family reunion without the boys).

“Omma! Good Morning!” I hugged my mother in-law from the back and she giggled.

“Wow….egg rolls and Kimchi fried rice” I said.

“Yes it is…I made these for you since you told me that you’re missing some Korean food already” she said and I clapped my hands in excitement.

This just shows how sweet Jiyong’s mother is (she’s sweeter than Jiyong). I remember telling Omma that I’m craving for Korean food but I cannot point out what I really like and now, I guess I’m craving for Kimchi fried rice for I can feel the twins in my tummy clapping in glee.

“Were you able to talk to Jiyong last night?” she asked while cooking.

“No Omma….he’s not answering his phone…maybe he’s really busy or he has fallen asleep early” I answered and gave out a pout.

Mr. Kwon Jiyong and I weren’t able to talk last night and it’s our first time to not hear each other for a whole day. It’s a bit weird for he’s really not the type who will not call even if he’s already dead tired. Actually a few days ago, he talked with our kids till the wee hours of the night even if his eyes are about to shut already. Oh well, maybe he’s just too tired with all the things there in Korea. What’s wrong with me? Why am I making a big deal out of this anyway?

“Your Appa told me that Jiyong checked on him yesterday…and yes…it seems like your husband is working too much again…..Appa said that his son is getting thinner as days go by” Omma said and I sighed.

“He’s making the best out of this Omma…we both know that after their concert….he’ll be saying goodbye to the world of entertainment already” I told her and she nods in agreement.

“I just wish that he’s  got a better plan for his career…Dami told him that he should still work in music coz it’s really his forte and that’s where he’s good at” she said and I agreed with her.

“I know Omma….he’s actually planning to take the job that President YG is offering to him…I think he and the boys will all consider working here” I told her and there was silence.

My mother in-law is sobbing and I’ve noticed it a bit late. I don’t know why she’s crying, but it kinda shocked me for it’s my first time in a long time that I saw her cry.

“Omma…why are you crying?” I went to her and rubbed her back for comfort.

“Nothing…it’s just that…it’s slowly sinking in…you and Jiyong…along with the kids are really staying here for good already and it’s just hard to even imagine that I will not see all of you whenever I feel like it” she said and I hugged her.

“Omma…Jiyong and I have talked about this already….we have agreed that if things are going well in Korea already and we’re safe to go back home….we will not even think twice and go back…after all…the kids don’t want to stay here forever…they’ve been telling us that they’ll go back to Korea for college…though it’ll take a lot of years…..I can assure you that we’ll be back…and Omma…you can go here anytime you want….just give us a call and we’ll send a plane ticket for you and Appa” I said and she chuckled.

“Aigoo...it looks like we have to get used in plane rides already” she said and I laughed.

“Yes Omma…you’re right” I agreed and she laughed.

I don’t know but I’m sad as well for after a few days, my in-laws will go back to Korea already. Yes, I know that they can’t stay here for long coz Appa is alone back home, but if only they can stay up until I give birth, I’ll be the happiest woman alive.

When all’s done, I called everybody to the table already and we had a wonderful breakfast. The kids are all excited to eat Korean dishes and they even tried eating the spicy Kimchi fried rice that Omma prepared (Omma always prepares two kinds of Kimchi fried rice: the spicy and non-spicy).

“Ah! It’s too spicy!” Danny shrieked after eating a spoonful of spicy Kimchi fried rice.

“I already warned you” Dami-unnie told him and all the kids giggled.

“Wow sis…you are eating less nowadays” I told Daryl when I noticed that she only got two egg rolls and a small amount of rice on her plate.

“I don’t know…but I’m losing my monster appetite already” she said and I laughed.

My lovely sister, Daryl is almost due already and I’m telling you, she’s still as hyped as the kids. Yesterday, she even went to the mall with Dami-unnie and Hye yoon- unnie. Believe it or not, she bought almost the whole store for infants and now, she doesn’t even know how to bring it all to Korea.

“I’ve read in a magazine that pregnant women who are about to give birth already usually loses their appetite” Dami-unnie said and I looked at Daryl in alarm.

“Oh gosh! Sis! I think you should really call your husband already…I mean…you can explode anytime soon” I told her and she looked at me worriedly.

“Gosh! Puh-lease! I’m not ready yet! I’m still scared of having a caesarian birth…more time is what I need” she said, making us laugh.

“Sis…I already told you…it’s all good…you cannot even feel anything” I said and she shook her head.

“I don’t know…but I’m not ready for my stomach to split in half” she said and I rolled my eyes at her.

“It won’t split in half!” Omma, Dami-unnie and I said in unison, making everybody laugh.

“OK…chill…no need to shout at me…I get it…it won’t split in half” she said “But it’ll be cut” she added and I nearly slammed my face on my plate.

“Daryl…they will cut it of course…but don’t you worry it’s not as big as you think it is…plus…you can’t see the whole thing…so it’s not that scary at all” Dami-unnie told her (it’s a bit weird to hear these things from a woman who haven’t given birth yet. Weirdest thing is, she’s telling it to a mother already).

And with that being said, Daryl already shut and continued eating. Yes, I know that going through a major surgery like that can really stress you out but it’s not that big of a deal. I’ve been cut once with the twins as well and it really made me and most especially my husband, nervous. I’ve also cleared things to my doctor that if it’s possible, I want to give birth naturally this time even if I’m carrying twins and he told me that if things work out as planned and the babies are in good positions, they can grant my wish.

After breakfast, Daryl together with Dami-unnie and I prepared all the kids for school already. Since Railey is not here, we are the ones taking care of her three kids and now I know why DK always tell me that Tabitha and the two boys are so classy. The Choi kids are really prim and proper. Well, ours are as well but they are more timid than the seven kids. Tabitha speaks like an adult as well but you will get shock sometimes whenever she talks to you because you will hear some words of wisdom from her and she’s only seven years old. The two boys are playful but they follow instructions so well and once you tell them to stop, they will stop. I guess, this is what TOP really worked on. He disciplines his kids so well and I can say that none of them are spoiled (all our kids are spoiled in one way or another). OK. Jiyong is a great father and I cannot say anything more. I’m just amazed with how Railey’s kids move and deal with certain things.

“Mum…we called dad last night and he’s not answering” Isabella said while I was looking for