This is really epic! Not in my wildest imagination have I imagined my husband being this emotional. I know that this is a natural reaction, but the moment Taeyang told me what Jiyong did inside their studio, I was left in total shock.

“He’s still so cool and calm when he walked in the studio awhile ago…and then Daesung called to tell him what’s happening outside the building….I guess he heard the fans singing and from there….he breakdown…it shocked all of us…even Teddy hyung” Taeyang said and we got really shocked.

“Jiyong must’ve been bottling it all up” Railey said and I nod in agreement.

“This is really a hard time for him and we all know that…just imagine turning your back to something that you grew up in and has been doing for almost all your life…it’s really heart breaking” Daryl said and I sighed.

I don’t know, but guilt is really eating me up while listening to them. This whole “Let’s move to America” idea came from me and he will not come up with a retirement if it wasn’t for this. Gosh! Why? Why does he have to have a major breakdown? This is really breaking me in pieces.

“OH! There you are!” TOP said upon seeing me walk in the studio.

“He’s still inside the booth?” I asked and they just gave me a nod.

“Is it locked or something?” I asked while peeking in.

“No it’s not…go and calm that big baby down” TOP joked and we all laughed.

In all fairness to Jiyong, he’s not afraid to show his feelings to the people around him. Yes, he is hiding inside the recording booth but the fact that he can cry his feelings out is already a sign of manliness and once again, he’s gaining charm points from me.

The moment I opened the glass door, I saw Jiyong right away. He’s balled on the floor and is crying like a little kid whose lollipop was taken away from him. It’s a bit surreal to see him in this situation and it’s totally my first time to see him like this.

“Babe” I called.

“Babe” he looked up right away and hugged me.

He is sobbing like there’s no tomorrow and all I can do is hug him. I know that no words can make him feel fine and all I can do is make him feel that I am always beside him no matter what.

“Stop crying” I pulled out from the hug and wiped his tears.

“This is really painful…and hard” he said with matching hiccups.

“Babe….I know” I told him and he hugged me again.

“How can I say goodbye when it’s really painful?” he asked and hugged me tightly.

These are the moments when I don’t even know what to do. I know that Jiyong will get over this soon, but I’m a bit worried for him because I’m so sure that his mind will be occupied with this issue and his heart will surely be filled with the hurt of retiring once again.

“Babe…you always tell me that there are times that we just have to give up something for our lives to get better…right? Now…that’s what I’m gonna tell you” I said and he started crying once again “Jiyong…you gave your career up because you cannot take to be far away from us…you will leave your life because you know so well that our lives will get better and safer in America…you are doing this for our family and you just did the most heroic deed EVER!” I finished and he pulled me for a hug again.

“Babe….stop crying now….please…this is making me guilty” I told him and he looked at me curiously.

“Huh? Why is that?” he asked and I sighed.

“You wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me…I know that this idea of moving to America came from me and I only convinced you to this” I answered and he cupped my face with both hands.

“Babe…when Lauren almost killed the hell out of you a few days ago…I was already thinking of the exact same thing too…I even want to keep this whole retirement a secret from you because I know that you will back out once you learn that I’d be letting go of my career already…it’s a good thing that you brought this idea up coz it became easier for me to decide on whether this move is right or not” he said and I started tearing up as well.

“This is hard….SUPER hard….but babe…let’s just think of our happy moments here…I mean…if we’re going to take all these things seriously…it’ll just bring us sadness and a lot of tears….and I’m telling you…I don’t wanna leave this place with tears in my eyes” I told him and he nods at me.

“I breakdown because I know that I’m breaking a lot of people’s hearts…and they are hurting now…seeing my members trying to act normal just for the mood to be light is enough to make me cry…I can’t even bring myself to say goodbye to them…it’s so freakin hard” he said and all I can do is hug him for comfort.

Jiyong is like a candle melting, and it’s just so hard to see him in this state. I’ve already said a lot of encouraging words and even tried to enlighten him but things are much heavier and it cannot be dealt with good words. My husband is breaking in front of my very eyes and I hate it because I don’t know what to do and say just to make him feel good. I am his wife therefore I should know how to make things brighter even if everything is dark and hopeless.

“You are not going to say goodbye to them…..all you have to say is…see you later….or see you soon” I told him and he smirked.

“Is that what you told the girls?” he asked and I sighed.

“Truth is…we’re on the same boat…I cannot find the will to say goodbye to them…I think…I’m just going to say…see you later mother ers!” I joked and he burst out laughing.

“Aigoo…that’s going to make the girls insane!” he said and a smile appeared on my face already.

I felt relieved, proud and totally happy when I saw Jiyong laughing because of me. I guess, we really just have to take everything as a joke first so that it’ll be much easier for us to bid farewell.

“Let’s go out now” I told him and he just stared at me.

“What?” I asked and he pulled me for a hug again.

“Thank you” he said and pulled out from the hug “Thank you for everything…thank you for cheering me up even if you yourself feels like crap as well…_________...I may be crying now…but I’m so sure that you won’t see these tears again in the future….well…I will cry from time to time…of course…most especially when Isabella or any of our daughters introduce a suitor or a boyfriend to us…but…this is the last time that I’m going to cry because of a decision well made” he said and I gave him a peck on the lips.

“Babe…it’s so manly to cry…and it’s just normal for me to cheer you up in times like this because I am your wife…it’s you and me…remember? We have each other’s back always…we can run in each other’s arms for comfort…and it’s our job to make each other happy in times of sadness….we are just living the promises that we made during our wedding….it’s better or for worse Jiyong…BETTER OR FOR WORSE” I said and he claimed my lips in a swift move.

We are husband and wife, and we vowed to be beside each other through thick or thin, in better or worse. This just proves that we are still a power couple even after all the that happened to us and this just shows that we are still living for each other.

The moment Jiyong and I came out of the recording booth, the whole gang just stared at us and none of them are moving. I feel like they are loss for words, the girls just stared at me and I just gave them a nod to assure them that everything’s good now.

“Guys….don’t you wanna hug your leader?” Daryl told the boys and it cracked me and Railey up.

Kudos to Daryl! She is once again breaking the awkwardness inside the room and it’s a success. Daesung is really being playful for he hugged Jiyong so tight, followed by Taeyang and TOP. Well, I have noticed that Seungri is really distancing himself from his hyung these days and today, he looks like he’s not interested in anything at all.

“What’s with Seungri?” Railey asked and I looked at him.

“Isn’t it obvious? He’s hurting…A LOT” Daryl answered and I sighed.

“Excuse me” I said and went to where Seungri is.

Seungri is Jiyong’s left hand and their closeness is really tight. My husband treats their maknae like his eldest kid and I’m telling you, Jiyong cares for this man A LOT and he will do anything just to make him happy. Well, he’s also like that with Daesung and the other members but Seungri is really special.

“Hey” I sit beside him and he just smiled at me.

“Can you accompany me to the cafeteria?” I asked and he just stood up without saying anything and gave out a nod.

Gosh! This is the first time that Seungri kept quiet and I didn’t know that he can look scary too. Before, I always tell him that I want to see him angry or down (coz he’s always hyped up) and now that I’m seeing his serious side, it’s just unbelievable.

“Here” I gave him a bottle of water and he just gave me a small smile.

“uhmm….I brought you here because I want to talk to you” I said and he just stared at me.

“Look….I know that this is really hard to take…especially you are really close to Jiyong” I started and I can see tears pooling in his eyes.

“It’s just so hard to say goodbye to Jiyong hyung” he finally speak out, his voice shaking.

“I can feel you…it is hard for us as well” I told him and tears started rolling down his cheeks.

“_______