July 5

Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely with respect and freedom for the other person, it is like to remain intact. But hold too tightly too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

Yesterday didn’t end that good and to tell you the truth, I wasn’t able to sleep last night at all. I don’t know, but my paranoid button is once again on and my mind is giving me a lot of things to think about. It is crazy and it’s just so frustrating coz I don’t want to doubt on him again. Seeing that girl and her kid is a bit unexpected, coz I haven’t even thought that I’ll be seeing them again. I mean, is this just a mere coincidence or somebody brought them here and the whole thing is planned (crazy thought, yeah).

I woke up with a heavy head and heart. Yes, I’m acting like a stupid little girl once again, for I’m making a big deal out of nothing and I really shouldn’t be thinking of things that are not worth thinking of. I told myself that the moment I walk out of our room, my mood has to change and I have to show my family that I am fine and nothing is bothering me for I don’t want to spoil their day.

“Here....this one…one more…and this” I heard Ruselle say while sitting on the couch with Karielle.

“Hey babies!” I greeted the two cheerfully.

“Mum!” Russelle greeted back and Karielle giggled.

“What are you two…” I said and stopped when I saw them eating a big pack of chips.

“Who gave you that?” I asked while looking at my youngest daughter who is playing with her chips covered finger.

“We asked dad if we can eat them mum” my son answered and I strangled Jiyong in my mind.

In our household, chips or any kind junkfoods are not allowed. Yes, I know that it’s a little harsh and kids have the right to eat them once in a while, but for me, it’s really not healthy. After all, they have a lot of food to eat that are not junkfoods.

“Good Morning Mrs. Kwon!” Danny greeted while going down the stairs.

“What are you wearing?” I asked the moment I saw his clothes.

I don’t know, but Danny is already starting to be a weird fashionista (like Jiyong). He always wears clothes that are so out of this world and I’m horrified sometimes for he’s still a kid and he should be dressing up nice.

“The noonas played with me mum” he said but he looks happy about it.

“Is that your Isabella noona’s romper?” I asked and he giggled.

“Yes mum” Danny answered and even though I’m a bit pissed about it, I can’t help but laugh for my son can pull out a girl’s outfit like Jiyong and owns it.

“Gosh!” I said and he hugged me.

“Is it that bad to wear girls clothes mum?” he looked up at me and asked.

“It’s not…but…mum is not used to seeing you wearing your noona’s clothes…why are you playing with them anyway?” I asked curiously and he giggled.

“Gabrielle and I barged in their room awhile ago and as a punishment….they dressed me as a girl and they made Gabrielle as their servant” he answered and all I can do is sigh.

This day is really starting out a bit interesting and I’m enjoying it. I mean, my kids are really a joy in my life and they can wash away any worries and problems that I have in mind.

“MUM!” Gabby shouted in shock the moment I opened the door.

“Hey girls!” I greeted and they just stared at me nervously.

The moment I entered the girls’ room, DK is playing on the floor while Gabby is talking with somebody on the phone and Isabella is nowhere to be found. They look normal, but I know that something is going on.

“What’s happening in here and who are you talking to?” I asked Gabby with my arms crossed across my chest.

“She’s talking with Isabella unnie mum” DK answered and I looked at my girls weirdly.

“Where is your unnie by the way?” I asked curiously.

“She’s with dad…they’re at the garden mum” DK answered and Gabby is still talking with her sister over the phone even if they’re just a few steps away.

“Mum’s here…I’ll hang up…bye unnie!” Gabby said when she felt that I’m just waiting for her to finish her call.

“Morning mum!” Gabby greeted the moment she hanged up.

“Why are you talking with your unnie over the phone if you can talk in person?” I asked and she giggled.

“Unnie is using dad’s phone mum….she secretly called me” Gabby said and came near me “Dad doesn’t know that his phone is with Isabella unnie” she whispered but it’s still loud.

I’m really going crazy now and my kids are the one to blame for it. I’m telling you, the Kwon kids are so random and unpredictable. There are times that they are in their normal state though.

“MUM! LOOK AT ME!” Gabrielle shouted while sliding his body on the floor with a pillow.

“What are you doing?” I asked, a bit pissed.

“Mum…we can explain” Gabby said and glared at Gabrielle, making him stop.

“OK…one minute…and it starts…….NOW” I said and the girls gasped.

“Mum…five minutes” DK said and I rolled my eyes.

“OK” I said and Gabby cleared .

As expected, Gabby is the one who is in charge of explaining and reasoning (she’s so good at it). This daughter of mine can pass as a lawyer and she can really defend her and the two girls without sweat.

“Mum….Danny and Gabrielle barged in our room a few minutes ago…shouting and laughing loudly…they woke us up because of their noise and they tried to steal our laptop…good thing DK caught them and as a way of saying sorry…the kids said that they’re going to do anything just for us not to tell you about what they’ve done” Gabby explained and I keep on nodding my head, still trying to absorb each word.

“That’s so right mum! The kids have convinced us to just give them a simple punishment….so we gave them what they want” DK followed.

“And the punishments are?” I asked, pretending that I know nothing about it.

“We….” Gabby bowed down her head and sighed.

“You?” I asked and looked at DK who looked at her sister then sighed.

“We dressed Danny using Isabella unnie’s clothes a