August 18

Trouble is part of your life. If you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough. When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

My life as I see it is a colorful canvass with dark shades of black on it and those shades are all my fears and worries. I don’t know, but there are times when I just want to color that canvass all black for problems never leave my side, they are always there and I’m being miserable because of them. The only reason why I keep on having this colorful life is my family, and if I’m going to be away from them even just for a second, I will surely fall apart in just a snap of a finger.

I made one of the biggest and most stupid decisions EVER. I turned down my promotion yesterday and I am starting to regret it. It’s so hard to keep it to myself. Yes, Jiyong doesn’t know anything about this and only President YG and the girls know this decision of mine. I know that once my husband learns about this, he will surely blame himself once again for ruining my dream and holding me back. Truth is, I know that this will happen, I’ve foreseen it already. I know that there will come a time where I’ll be given the highest position in the company and I’ll be based in a different country, thing is, I haven’t prepared myself and my family for it. Just the thought of leaving my husband and kids here in Korea while I work my out in America is really making me go insane, and knowing that I’ll be half way across the world from them is enough to tear my whole world apart. For me, my career already had its peak and now is the right time for me to focus and think more about my family.

Today is another special day for us Kwons coz it is Jiyong and Isabella’s birthday! Yahoo! My baby boy and baby girl is now celebrating their thirty third and thirteenth birthday. Gosh! My husband and I are now in our thirties and it’s so surreal! I cannot even imagine us being in our fifties yet. Oh well, our age might start with number three already but our way of thinking and looks will always be in our twenties.

“Happy Birthday” I whispered in Jiyong’s ear the moment I woke up.

As expected, he just pulled me closer to him and kissed my forehead then sleeps again. Come to think of it, for almost thirteen years, we’ve been celebrating our birthdays like crazy and now, we are slowly getting sick of all the jolly and grand parties that even our children share the same feelings already. But then again, August eighteenth wouldn’t be the same without a big joint party for my husband and daughter. Of course I’m cooking a good party for them secretly and even though I know that a surprise party is already overrated in our book, I’m still going for it because it’s so much fun to see their shocked faces the moment they learned about their surprise.

“MUM!” Isabella called out and ran towards me.

“Happy birthday!” I greeted cheerfully and she hugged me tight.

“Thank you mum! I love you so dearly” she said, making me chuckle.

“I feel so good after hearing that” I told her and she pulled me down and kissed me on the cheek.

“Is dad already awake?” she asked and I shook my head.

“As usual” she said and we both end up laughing.

The other kids are already outside, playing in the backyard. Well, before they are not allowed to play outside in the early morning because the sun will burn their skins, but what can I do? They are kids and they’re already sick of playing in the living room. After all, getting some sun and being tanned by it, is a good for them as well.

“Babies!” I called out from the doorway.

“MUM!” they all ran towards me.

“Good Morning” I greeted each one of them with a hug and kiss.

“Mum….it’s noona’s birthday!” Gabrielle said and I nod at him.

“Yes…and it’s dad’s as well” I told them and they smiled at me.

“Aren’t we going to surprise him mum?” Gabby asked.

“C’mon! I’ll show you our surprise for him” I said and they followed me to my office.

Well, I’ve had us customized shirts that has “Dad’s number one fan” and “THE Dragon’s baby girl/ baby boy” printed in front and back of it, while mine has “Number one fan girl” and “THE Dragon’s wife” on it. Railey and Daryl were the ones who thought about this idea and it’ll surely flip the hell out of my husband once he sees us, cheering for him while wearing these shirts later.

“This is beautiful mum!” DK said while looking at the shirts.

“I love this!” Gabby shrieked.

“We need to make posters for dad later…right mum?” Isabella asked and I smiled at them.

“Of course you can make as much as you want” I answered and they clapped in excitement.

Our kids are getting used to watching their dad and uncle’s perform on stage and this will just be the second time that they’ll be seeing Jiyong perform alone. I’m so sure that they will get shocked the moment they learn that their uncle’s won’t take part in today’s performance, but I’m sure that they will surely enjoy every second of it because it’s their dad’s special moment.

“WOW!” the kids said in awe the moment I showed them our gift for Jiyong.

“Love it?” I asked and all of them gave out a nod.

“Dad looks so good there” Isabella said and the kids stared at the portrait like they’re seeing something else.

“Is that my baby picture mum?” Gabby asked while pointing at a small image in the portrait.

The portrait is made up of the kids’ photos coz I’ve had it mosaic. I was planning of having our family portrait in the same style as well, but I just had this wonderful thought that it’ll be really good to have Jiyong’s portrait made instead.

“It is made up of your pictures babies” I told them and it amazed them.

“How is that possible mum?” DK asked curiously, looking closely at the portrait.

“I gave them tons of photos and they made dad’s picture out of yours…I really don’t know how they made it” I told them honestly and they giggled.

“Mum…we should learn how to do this…it looks interesting” Isabella said and I just shook my head at her.

I can say that I am creative, thing is, I’m not that good in art and all I can do is write. My creativity starts and ends in writing and nothing comes after that. I don’t even have the patience to do a portrait out of pictures, because just by looking at it, I can already say that it’s so complicated to make.

After showing them our gift, I made them write short messages for their dad at the back of the frame and they even signed it. Of course, Karielle cannot write yet, along with the twins who are just learning how to write, so I just told them to write their names (in all fairness to the twins, they really put a lot of effort in writing). The girls even put hot red lipstick on their lips and left a kiss mark beside their signature (I don’t know where they learned that).

And with that, we prepared breakfast for Jiyong and with the help of the kids, we set up the table beautifully (flower petals are scattered all over the dining table and even on the floor, take note of this: I don’t even know where the kids got those).

“Let’s wake dad up now” I told the kids and they excitedly ran to our bedroom.

As expected, Jiyong is still in dreamland with his mouth open and arms spread wide in bed (he has these funny and weird positions while sleeping and this is one of them).

“Go!” I told the kids softly and they all climbed up our bed and started shaking and wrestling their father.

“Aigoo” “Ah!” “Oh” “Ah!”

Oops! It seems like the kids really tortured their dad. I didn’t know that it’s going to be that intense (the kids are so excited to wake him up, that’s why they nearly beat the hell out of him just for him to wake up).

“Let’s sing” I mouthed to the girls and they started singing the birthday song.

“HAPPY BIRTHDA TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY……HAAAAAPPPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYY…..HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAAAAAD”

It really is so much fun to hear our kids singing in chorus. I can see Jiyong’s sweet smile appeared the moment he heard our kids singing. These are one of the moments that I will never EVER forget.

“Thank you babies!” Jiyong sat up and hugged the kids in a big bear hug.

“I love you” he said and it really made my heart jump.

“Love you too dad” the kids answered in unison and all I can do is watch their sweet moment and smile.

Jiyong looked at me after that, with his eyes filled with tears and it fell the moment he blinked. I don’t know, but the sight of my husband being so emotional is really good to see and it’s so touching. The gratefulness in his eyes is just so priceless.

“Happy Birthday babe” I joined them in bed and he hugged me tightly.

“I love you” he kissed my shoulder “So much” then he gave me a peck on the lips.

“Ewww!” the boys said in their most disgusted face.

“Yah! What’s gross in that?” Jiyong asked, making me chuckle.

“Dad…why are you and mum always smooching?” Danny asked and it cracked me up.

“Baby boy…this is how we show our love for each other” I answered and he nods.

“That’s right…be shocked if they don’t kiss anymore Danny” Isabella said and smiled at me.

“Yeah…unnie’s right….seeing them kiss is just so sweet” Gabby said dreamily with her hands clasped in front of her chest, and eyes blinking cutely.

“But there are times that they overdo it” DK said and it ruined the mood.

“Yah!” Jiyong protested.

“I’m just joking dad!” she told him, making us laugh “But jokes are half meant” she countered and it made me insane.

We had our little family talk once again, wherein the kids shared what happened to them yesterday. It looks like all of them are learning the Korean language well coz even the boys can now understand Jiyong when he tested their skills. Thing is, Isabella is still in the dark, but I can really see that she’s trying to at least be in the same level with her brothers.

“Aigoo” Jiyong said when he saw our surprise for him.

“The kids prepared the table just for you” I told him and he was moved by it once again.

“Thank you so much” he said with a smile on his face.

These are the small things that Jiyong really loves to receive (who doesn’t want to have this kind of surprise, right?).

“Special pancakes for you babe” I said and he grabbed my arm before I return to my seat and pulled me down for a kiss.

“There they go again” Danny said, making me laugh.

“Jus