May 21

Where you are is where I want to be and through your eyes all the things I want to see. In the night you are my dream. You are everything to me. Believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.

This is really a sad day for our household. Jiyong left for Japan awhile ago and the kids are really affected by it to the point that they weren’t able to finish their meals. Well, it’s a normal thing for us, but it still hurts coz sadness is just felt all around the house.

Our day started like any ordinary mornings. The kids are playing like there’s no tomorrow as early as seven in the morning while the big girls are so busy rehearsing their dance routines for ballet class later that afternoon, the only difference is, me and Jiyong are so busy packing his things for Japan.

“Is this going in here or not?” I asked while holding a jacket.

“Babe…I can feel and see that you don’t feel like helping me at all…if I were you…I’ll just put that down” he said and I smirked (why will I even be in the mood to help him pack if I feel bad about this whole trip).

“I can’t understand why this thing is very heavy for me…I mean…I’m used to this…and I find it so weird because I don’t want you to go AT ALL” I told him and sat down on the swivel chair.

“That’s what I’m about to ask actually...why don’t you want me to go?” he asked and I shrugged.

I don’t know, but I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen. OK. I know that my negativity will just eat me raw and it will just get my mind ed up, but that’s what my instinct is telling me (no. I’m not thinking of a plane crash or kidnaps or whatsoever).

“awww babe” I said and he bent down to my level and cupped my face.

“You know what? You’re just thinking way too much…we’re going to be fine there in Japan…don’t worry about anything” he told me and I sighed.

“Wait…are you worried that I might play around there?” he asked and I just stared at him.

Well, I’m a woman and I can’t help thinking of my man cheating or playing while I’m not around. Yes, I do trust Jiyong a lot and he has proven to me that he’s really loyal, but there are times where your mind is giving all these kinds of ideas and thoughts that will really freak you out.

“Kwon Jiyong…you know that I trust you…right?” I asked and he chuckled.

“Of course and I will never break that trust” he said and I nod.

“Just be a good boy out there…I mean…you are a good boy…but…temptation is all around you once again and I’m sorry for thinking like this…but…you can’t blame me…you’re very popular…girls are still hitting on you even if they know that you’re married with seven children…I’m just afraid that you might bend without you noticing it” I said and he pulled my head closer for a kiss.

“Aigoo…my wife is afraid of nothing…I’m telling you _______...you are watching too much dramas already and I think you have to cut it down now…cheating men are just for those dramas…OK?” he said and I hissed.

“Cheating is for everybody…and you cannot even tell when that thing will hit you…babe…we’ve been through a lot of dramas before because of these third wheels and even if we haven’t cheated on each other yet…there is a possibility that one of us might get tempted and I’m telling you….it’s gonna be the end of us if that happens” I told him and he seems to be a little pissed of what I’m saying.

Ok. I’ve been a little drama queen there, but I’m just telling him what is really on my mind for I know that it will help my sanity and at least he knows what I feel and why am I being like this.

“I’m already there…yes…cheating is normal…in this generation that we’re in…it is…but for us….cheating is not even in our book…we’re so done with third wheels and even if we both know that there are still some people hitting on the both of us….we brush them all off and ignore…that’s how we do it…and that’s what I’m going to do once I stepped on Japanese ground…I will brush temptations off and you can count on me with that” he said and I hugged him by the neck.

“Am I being a y wife now? I’m sorry for this…I mean...I shouldn’t be even thinking of your possibilities on cheating or whatsoever” I said and he rubbed my back gently.

“I can understand where you’re coming from…it’s been months since I last went overseas and I know that you’re just reminding me again of the do’s and don’ts…so it’s all good” he said and I gave him a peck on the lips.

“Babe…looking is fine…but don’t touch or talk…get me?” I said and she laughed.

“I will even go with a blindfold on just for you not to worry about this whole cheating and playing around thing anymore” he said and I chuckled.

I can say that even if I’m the type of wife who just goes with the flow and is not strict with my husband AT ALL, I still have issues when it comes to him being away from me for weeks coz let’s admit it, unexpected things can happen and temptations are everywhere, I’m just afraid that he will bite the bait of flirty and touchy women.

“Dad…do you really have to go now?” Gabby asked in the middle of breakfast.

“Yes baby girl…but don’t worry…dad will be back after a week or two” Jiyong told her and she sighed.

“But dad…please try to be at the twins’ birthday party…our friends are also invited there and we want them to meet you” Isabella said and I smiled at Jiyong who seems to feel a little bad once again.

“Well…their moms want to meet you” Gabby said and I chuckled (seriously, most of my kids’ moms are asking about Jiyong and it’s just crazy for they are confessing that they’re die hard VIPs before and they’ve been fangirling over Jiyong every time they see him on TV).

“I don’t want to promise that I can come…but…dad will try his best to make it to the party…would that be fine?” Jiyong asked and the kids nod in agreement.

After breakfast, we all went to our respective rooms to prepare. The big girls are preparing for school while Jiyong and I are preparing for work. And as for the little kids, they we’re fetched by Dami-unnie because I asked her if she can help me take care of them for I only have one nanny with me today and I’m so thankful that my sister in-law is always ready to help.

My mind is just so full of things about work today for I have tons of meetings and a new pile of paper works to finish. Thing is, I’m still thinking about that new assistant editor, I mean, I know that I shouldn’t be bothering myself about him but he’s really freaky and just by thinking that I’ll be working with him most of the time is already giving me the freaks.

And to lessen my stress, I chose to stay in my closet for a little while and stare at my clothes and shoes (you know me, I am obsessed with all my clothes and shoes and they are really my stress relievers). I chose an outfit that is covered (merely because I’m really afraid of Brady and I don’t want him to look at me all the time) and I put a little make-up on just to give my face some color and tied my hair in a messy bun and that’s it! I’m done!

“Babe…are you still going to drop by the YG building later?” I asked while fixing my hair.

“Manager hyung will fetch me here in an hour…why?” he answered.

“Nothing…I guess I have to say goodbye to you now since I’m not gonna see you off and I’ll be leaving already” I told him and he hugged me by the waist from the back.

“Don’t say goodbye” he said and I turned to face him.

“OK…well then…let’s see each other in two weeks” I said and he leaned in for a kiss.

“Yeah…but call me if you’re still up to visiting me during the weekends…OK?” he said and I nod (well, we have realized that visiting him for the weekend is pricy so we have decided to not push through with it and we have explained it to the kids as well).