“Omma” I called.

“mmmm?” she sit beside me on the couch with my youngest daughter on her lap.

“What is it?” she asked with her motherly tone that can really warm your whole being.

“I’m thinking of retiring already” I told her and she gasped in shock.

It really is shocking because I, myself has never thought that I’d be doing this. I mean, I know that there’s an end to fame and popularity but this sudden decision of mine is really random and unexpected. Years ago, I told my wife that I’m going to be a singer till my voice runs out and she always tells me that my life really revolves on music and my career, but what she didn’t know is that, my career has always been second priority the moment she came into my life. Yes, I’m still a workaholic up till now and I’m always occupied with work, but this doesn’t mean that they are just a runner up in my life. My family has always been my first priority and no matter how high my salary is or how popular I am, ________ and my kids are all I treasure and live for. I can pretty much give up all the luxuries and comfort that my world , but I will never EVER give up on my family.

“Aigoo…are you already sure about that?” Omma asked and I gave her a nod.

“This is the only way Omma…I can’t let _________ and the kids go to America while I’m here working non-stop….my wife needs me there and I need her” I answered and she rubs my back in a motherly way.

“You are a whole different person Jiyong-ah….before…I always say that I don’t think marriage is for you…but from how things are going now…I can say that I was wrong…you’re really fit to be a husband and ________ is so lucky to have you in her life” she told me and it really touched my heart.

“She changed me Omma…the life that I have pictured before she came isn’t like this….I am actually expecting it to be just full of playing and fooling around…and basically just going with the flow…but it’s all different…________ made me see the more serious side of the world” I said and a smile appeared on my face and realized that the reason why this smile appeared is because I’m talking about my wife.

My life before is really different from now. I can say that I’m manlier now and mature although there are times that immaturity still hits me, but those times can easily be forgotten. My wife has changed me from a happy-go-lucky dude to a responsible man. She made me realize that there are more to life than the studio, clubs and girls.

“Dad…are we really going to live in America?” Isabella asked while watching her brothers play.

“Well…yeah…why? Don’t you like it there?” I asked and she sighed.

“Honestly dad” she faced me “No…I don’t want to live there….it’s just fine for me to have a vacation but staying there? No…it’s much fun here dad” she said and I pulled her near me.

“Baby girl…we have to move there….Seoul is not a good place for us right now” I told her and she looked at me curiously.

“Why is that dad? Why is Seoul not a good place for us anymore? You were born here…we all grew up here….well…they…grew up here” she pointed at her siblings and I smiled at her “We know a lot of people and your work is also here…how can we move to America if our life is here?” she asked and I sighed.

Isabella is born in America, New York specifically, and she just went here when she was three. I will not forget the first time that I saw my daughter. She’s wearing this red outfit with a pretty ribbon on her head and she’s calling me “G-dargon”, at that time I’m not aware that I have a daughter and I can never be happier when I learned that she was mine. It’s really makes me feel good whenever I reminisce that specific moment in my life. If only I can tell my daughter why this place is dangerous to us, I will definitely say it all just for things to be cleared and for her to understand why we have to move them out of Korea as well.

“Where will we live there dad?” Gabby asked this time.

“mmm…mum and I haven’t talked about the details yet…but I guess…we just need to buy a house or a pad there” I answered and she sighed.

“I really don’t wanna go” she said and DK, who is beside her agreed.

“I don’t wanna leave halmeoni and harabeoji here” DK said and I looked at Omma and Appa who are so busy watching over the boys.

“And the Uncles and Aunties too” Gabby said in her saddest voice.

“Babies…don’t worry about them….we will visit once in a while or in the case of your Uncles and Aunties…they’ll soon follow us there…so you’ll see them again...you can always have a vacation here…so don’t think about it anymore” I said and they nod.

Our kids are really being bugged by this sudden move out and I know how it feels coz I’m also bugged by it as well. I’ve never lived out of Korea except when we have to stay in Japan for a few months. This is really a big challenge for me and ________, because we will not be THE KWONS once we’re in America already rather, we’ll just be an ordinary family, out of all the glitz and glamour of the entertainment world.

Today, I have decided to just announce my retirement if ever I win at a music show. I asked for a sign and that is if I win, I’ll already break the news about my retirement and if not, I’ll think about it more.

“Jiyong…is there any problem?” Jae wook hyung asked.

“Nothing hyung…I’m just….a bit nervous” I answered and forced a smile.

“Yaaa…I know you…you’re not the kind of person who’ll get nervous about being on stage coz you’ve been doing this for ages now” he said and I chuckled.

“Hyung….I’ve been doing this with four more people on stage…not only me” I said and he smirked.

“Are the boys coming?” he asked and I shook my head.

“They’re recording today” I answered and she shook his head.

“Aigoo…you guys will never stop from making music…you are really going to stay as Big Bang for the rest of your lives” he said and I gave him a nod.

I agree with him. Personally, even if Big Bang will disband already, I’m still going to be G-dragon of Big Bang and the members will always and forever be T.O.P, Taeyang, Daesung and Seungri. I know that we will soon be forgotten, but our songs will still be legendary hits. As for the five of us, I’m so sure that nothing will change after this and I can feel that our bond will be much stronger than it was before.

The members already know my decision. Thing is, they don’t know that I’m planning of announcing it today. I’m really thankful to them because they have understood me and from there, I can already say that we are more than group members rather, we are brothers. As a matter of fact, the boys are recording for our last and farewell album. Each one of us have written a song that will be included in the album and believe it or not, everything was finalized and written in just a matter of days. Well of course, Seungri hasn’t polished his piece yet, but we are willing to wait for it (maknae is really busy as of the moment). And as for YG hyung, I’ve already told him about my plans so it’s not going to be that shocking to him anymore. I just wish that even if I’ve decided to do this without even asking for his permission, he’ll understand and will not get mad and angry at me as well.

I can say that I’ve performed really good today. Oh well, maybe this is because I’m savoring each minute on stage. I’ve realized that I’m going to miss it big time and I have a feeling that my first few weeks of not being an idol or a singer anymore is going to be really difficult.

“G-DRAGON! CHUKA-HAMNIDA!”

“Mwo?” I asked CL, who is beside me when the winner was announced.

“Oppa! You won!” the 2ne1 girls said and I just stared at them.

“Aigoo” Bom noona said and pushed me to the center of the stage.

This is really it. I guess, God is telling me that my decision is good and it cannot wait long anymore. Oh well, I’m already here. After all, this is what I asked for right? This is the sign that I was waiting all this time.

*In Korean* “Thank you for voting for me….umm….I want to say thank you to all the people who has helped me to make this album possible…Teddy hyung…my brothers….BIG BANG! Kush hyung…YG hyung and of course…my family…my kids…Isabella…Gabby…DK…Danny….Russelle…Gabrielle and Karielle….last but not the least…my wife….________...this is for you….I love you….and TO ALL THE VIPs! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU ALL!” I finished and the crowd went wild.

“Can I say something important?” I asked IU who is one of the hosts.

“Sure” she answered and I started hushing the crowd.

“This is really random and I know that I shouldn’t be taking a lot of time…but…I just want to announce that…I’m…already….mmm….I’m already retiring from the being an idol…and in the music industry as well….yeah…a lot of things have come up and it’s just too much for me to handle….uhmm…this can be my last performance….but…I can assure you that this won’t be the last time that you’ll see me….thank you for supporting me and Big Bang all throughout our journey and for always staying beside us no matter what happens…THANK YOU VERY MUCH! PEACE!” I said and next thing I know it, the 2ne1 girls are crying, even my dancers are looking confused and of course, all of our fans are devastated.

I’ve already expected this. The moment I started singing for the encore, my heart seemed to break and tears started flowing down my cheeks. I wasn’t even able to sing because I’m sobbing like before. This is really hard. Just by thinking that I will now leave the stage for good and bid my farewell to all our fans is enough to make me weak. This has been my life for YEARS already and turning my back on it is the h