November 10

Take a chance and never let go. Risk everything, lose nothing. Don’t worry about anything anymore. Cry in the rain and speak out loud. Say what you want and love who you desire. Be yourself and not what others want to see. Never blame anyone else if you get hurt because you took the risk and decided who was worth the while. At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.

After the rain, there will always be a rainbow. I can say that our family has been challenged these past few weeks and I’m so grateful that we were able to surpass these challenges and now, we are back on track again.

I’ve proven now that our family’s bond is tighter than before. Our children are still small and they’re still innocent in so many ways, but they can understand a lot things that even an adult can’t. I don’t know, but I guess our children, most especially Isabella, knows how much Jiyong and I are trying to make things work out for us. Yes, I admit that we are not a power couple and we’ll never be, but the love that we have for each other has made wonders for us and it is keeping us strong and kicking.

“Where are we going mum?” Gabby asked.

“We’re going to see your new baby sister and baby brother” Jiyong answered instead.

“What?” DK asked in confusion.

“Wait!” Gabby said, making Jiyong, Isabella and DK to stop walking.

“Mum…are we having twins again?” she asked with her please-don’t-tell-me-it’s-true look.

“hmmm….yes baby girl…we are expecting twins once again and this time…they are a boy and a girl” I answered and she just stared at me in shock.

“But….” she looked at me then at Jiyong.

“But what Gabby?” Jiyong asked with a small smile on his face.

“But…that’s already too much! We are going to be nine already” our daughter answered, making me and Jiyong chuckle.

Actually, Gabby’s reaction will be everybody’s reaction once we announce this baby news to them. Jiyong told me that dad knows about it already but he told him to keep it first from mom (she is going to flip out for sure).

“Gabby…we can’t do anything about it already…and it’s just fine…at least we’ll be having a sister again…just imagine if they’re both boys” Isabella told her and she nods.

“Oh well…what can I do?…they’re already in there” Gabby said, making me and Jiyong laugh.

Today, we’ll be seeing our twins for the very first time and butterflies are flying inside my stomach already. My excitement is unimaginable, same goes with Jiyong. We have been waiting for this day to come since my doctor didn’t let us conduct an ultrasound coz my blood pressure is still unstable and he just wants me to be in bed and not move at all, that only means that after I was released from the hospital a few days ago, all I can do is lie in bed and bum around.

“Hi there!” my doctor said upon seeing us.

“Good Morning doc” I greeted and she pinched Karielle’s cheek, who is sitting on my lap while I’m on a wheelchair.

“We’re with the girls” I told him and he smiled at me.

“They’re all beautiful” he said and I can see my husband’s proud smile appearing on his face.

Our seven kids are supposed to be going with us here but because the boys are just so busy playing with dad, they just decided not to come so we just tagged the girls along instead. Mum and dad were the ones taking care of the boys at home and I’m telling you, those two will surely go crazy before this day even come to an end.

“Are you excited girls?” Doctor Banks asked.

“We are” the three older girls answered in unison.

“How old are you?” he asked while preparing the tools that he’ll use for the ultrasound.

“I’m thirteen” Isabella answered with a smile.

“I’m ten” Gabby followed.

“I’m seven and she’s turning three this December” DK answered for her and Karielle.

“And you’ll be having another sister…how do you feel?” he asked and the girls went silent for a minute.

I don’t know, but I can feel that the girls are not that thrilled on having twins again. Yes, I know that the stress would be doubled and they will surely go wild once again for two kids are gonna add up to the four that they are trying so hard to handle as of the moment.

“We’re fine with it for now…but I’m so sure that it’ll cause chaos in the long run” DK answered in her thirty year old self once again.

“Not only chaos…it’s gonna cause WAR” Gabby said in her I’m-so-sure-of-what-I’m-saying tone.

Our girls are once again in their adult mode and it’s driving Doctor Banks nuts! We even have to tell him that our girls talks like that normally. He’s so impressed with them coz they talk with confidence and they’re not even afraid of voicing out what’s in their heads.

“They talk like adults sometimes…I guess…it’s really their charm” Jiyong said, making the doctor laugh.

“It’s actually a good thing…they are so confident and smart” Doctor Banks said, making the girls smile proudly.

“But it can really blow your mind sometimes doc…there will be times where you’ll end up staring at them because you’re trying to process whatever they said to you…they talk like our mothers sometimes” Jiyong added, making the whole room filled with laughter.

After all the talking and laughing, we’re on with the ultrasound already. The girls are all staring at the monitor while waiting for their baby brother and sister to show up.

“There they are!” Doctor Banks points at the monitor and all of us stared at it.

“I can see a head!” DK said in surprise while pointing at the monitor.

“Yes these two are the heads...they are still in the same position actually…your little guy is still behind his sister….and as you can see…they are both trying to hide their faces” the doctor said and I smiled at how cute our two little angels are.

“aww…they’re shy” Gabby said and I smiled at her.

“I can already feel that our baby sister will look like dad” Isabella said, making Jiyong and I look at her in curiosity.

“Why is that?” Jiyong asked and all of us waited for her to answer.

“I don’t know…I just felt it” she answered and it left question marks in our heads.

Well, I’m really praying for the twins to look like me this time for I’ve noticed that our seven kids are slowly looking like Jiyong already. I don’t know, maybe because they’re always with their dad that’s why they look like him already (most of the kids look like me especially Isabella, Gabby and Karielle, while Danny resembles Jiyong even from day one).

“________...are you resting well?” Doctor Banks asked and my family looked at me with their don’t-you-dare-lie looks.

“Well…I’m…I’m….” I stuttered.

“She’s still working….her assistant comes to our house everyday and they’ll work till late afternoon…though she’s in bed while doing stuffs but still…she’s not resting fully….there are also times wherein she helps around the house” DK answered all of a sudden, shocking me, Jiyong and Doctor Banks.

“OMO!” Jiyong said and chuckled.

“It seems like you’re not being obedient” Doctor Banks said and I sighed.

“But I have to work…I’ve got a lot of things to do in the office and the only way for me to finish all of them is for me to work even if I’m in bed” I told him and he shook his head.

“_________....I don’t want you to go through too much stress…as much as possible…I don’t want you to feel any of it…even pressure…because it’ll really cause problems to your health….it’s just fine for you to work…but the mere fact that you’re thinking way too much for hours is not that good” he said and I just bowed my head down in defeat.

“Jiyong…I really think that you have to talk her out of it” he told Jiyong and my husband stared at me with a small smile on his face.

OK. Guilty woman here! Hang me!

I know that I’m once again being so stubborn, but I just want things to be done. President YG and I talked two nights ago about our plans for the company and have also tackled about my situation. He’s actually asking me to stop working for the meantime because Jiyong told him how sensitive my pregnancy is, but I protested and said that I’m just going to do my work at home and just let my assistant come to our house every day. I’ll still attend important meetings through Skype (I’ve done this once and it’s a bit awkward to talk in front of a camera).

“Babe…heard  that? I’ll be giving you the iron fists starting right this very second” Jiyong said and all I can do is sigh.

This is really making me nuts! I cannot even last a day without updating things in the office. It’s like me, not letting a day end without my daily dose of Big Bang exactly sixteen years ago. I mean, c’mon! I know my limitations and I will not even try to cross it.

After my ultrasound, the girls, Jiyong and I decided to go home straight for Doctor Banks said that I’m not allowed to get tired. I actually promised the girls that I’ll take them to the mall after my check-up coz they haven’t went shopping for a long time already.

“Babe…I think…we can still go to the mall even just for a while” I told him while they’re settling on their seats in the van.

“You are really pushy…huh?” he asked and I sighed.

“I promised the girls that we’ll be shopping after this” I told him and he took a deep breath.

“Mum….it’s just fine….your doctor told you that you can’t get tired…strolling around the mall is not good so let’s just forget it for now” Isabella said and I looked at her as if I’m protesting in a silent way.

“Unnie is correct mum! You should just take a rest and lie in bed” Gabby added and it really made me feel bad.

You know me. I’m not the kind of person who is used to bumming around. I’m the kind who is just so ready to move around and I’m not made to stay at home. My days won’t be complete without my countless meetings and paper works.

“We’re here babe” Jiyong shook me by the shoulders slightly.

I’ve noticed that I’m beginning to be a sleepyhead nowadays (I can now sl