Jieun's POV

We were on our way back home in a cab. I didn't want to stay in the hospital. It wouldn't change anything.

The cab ride was a silent one. Daehyun wrapped his arms around me while I carried and cradled my sleeping baby girl tightly in my arms. She must be tired after all the playing.

Miscarriage and infertile are the only two words that are appearing in my mind. 

When we reached home, Daehyun wanted to take our baby to bed but I didn't want him to. I want to put her to bed myself. Daehyun stood beside me, watching me sponge her and change her out of her clothes. After changing her, I gave her a kiss on her forehead. I sat beside her cot and just watch her sleep. My only baby girl. Daehyun sat with me as we watched our little princess sleep. There was no exchange of words. Again, Daehyun wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I felt safe but what use is it to feel safe? It wouldn't change the fact and the nicer he treats me, the more guilty I felt.

After about who knows how long, I removed Daehyun's arms around me as I headed back to our room. I sat on our bed and stared into space, unable to believe the harsh reality.

"Princess, it's okay. Don't keep it in. Cry if you want to. My shoulders is yours to cry on." Daehyun said when he came in. He hugged me tight but I didn't hug him back. I'm supposed to feel comforted but I felt cold instead. My tears flowed but I wasn't crying. Does that even make sense? I don't know and it doesn't matter. I felt numb. Would crying help? Certainly not.

"Darling, it's alright. Have a good rest. Tomorrow will be a new day. Sleep. Goodnight." He said as he lowered me to the bed and pecked my forehead. He covered the blankets over me and cuddled me.

I closed my eyes but how could I sleep? I murdered my own child. I kept thinking back. If only I was more careful. If only I knew. If only I kept it in mind.

Flashback

I was cleaning up the pots and stuff when I accidentally spilled water on the floor. Keeping in mind to clean it later, I brought the plates to the sink. Hearing my baby and my love play and make cheerful noises, I can't help but smile. Just as was about to carry the remaining pots from the table, I momentarily forgot about the spill and slipped when I walked on it. As I fall, my stomach came into contact with the edge of the table.

Daehyun came rushing in with Eunyoung in his hands. 

"Don't move. I'll call the ambulance." He said. When I looked down, I saw a pool of red liquid, my blood. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I was in great pain.

Eunyoung was crying. I wanted to hush her but the pain made me unable to talk.

It then came into my senses that I would probably lose this child. My child I didn't know was in me. No matter how prepared I told myself to be, I wasn't prepared at all, not after being so blissful. 

"I'm sorry, you had a miscarriage." The doctor said sympathetically.

"I have bad news. You would no longer be able to conceive." He added.

End of Flashback

I'm just jinxed like that. All the bad stuff happens to me. I should be immune to it but it hurts so bad. If it wasn't for my carelessness... I'm sorry to my unborned child. Mommy's sorry. 

I turned over and I see Daehyun's sleeping face in front of me. I caressed his cheek.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault..." I mumbled.

Daehyun's POV

I know she's been hurting ever since that incident. She doesn't do much now. I'm afraid she would fall back into depression. Ever since that night, she has not shed a single tear and I know it's been eating her slowly.

It's been a month and she was still locked in or rather, her heart locked us out. She didn't talk much. She didn't have the appetite. She would cook for us but she would only eat a small portion but that's only after I forced her to.

She went from not talking to me, to avoiding me. The only person that would make her smile was our little princess. She seemed to know that my princess was down. My little girl would just accompany her on my bed. 

I tried talking to her, getting her to vent it out but it was no use. She kept everything to herself. I know she blames herself but I never once blamed her. Accidents just happen. What else can I do other than to just accept fate as it is? I'm hurt too... It's my baby too.. But what can I do? Grieving over it won't help. Baby, Daddy loves you.

When it was night, I would bring her back to her cot but tonight was one of the few night my princess was asleep. I didn't want to risk waking the both of them up, I allowed my Youngie to sleep with us. I wrapped my arms around mother and child and Jieun opened her eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Princess. It's been a month. Let it go. I never blamed you for anything and I hope you'll stop blaming yourself. Stop doing this to yourself. You're not only hurting yourself, you're hurting me as well. I'm already very happy and blessed that I have you and Eunyoung." I said, a tear flowed down my cheek.

"You don't understand. I know you want kids. You wanted many kids and now nothing can be done about it becuase I was careless." She replied, finally talking to me.

"It's alright. I told you, I'm already happy with you and Eunyoung. I don't want to see you torturing yourself. Princess ah~ Please? Listen to me, put everything behind."

"You don't understand!" She shouted at my face. I was afraid our little girl would be shocked awake but luckily, she was in deep sleep. Jieun then got out of bed and walked out.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Don't bother about me. I don't deserve it. Just leave me alone." She hissed.

"No one said anything about that." I said.

"Just leave me alone! You're making me feel even more guilty than I already am! Please!! Just leave me alone!!" She raised her voice and slammed the door. Great, my baby girl now woke up and started crying.

"Shhh~ Sorry sorry... Sleep..." I hushed her back. That night, Jieun slept on the couch.

A few more weeks passed and she was still like that. 

"Princess, Youngie hasn't gone out for awhile. She's bored. Shall we eat out for dinner today?" I asked hoping I could use our baby girl as an excuse for her to go outdoors as well. She ignored me. Honestly, I know I'm supposed to be patient with her but my patience has its limits.

"Just go." She flatly turned me down. That's it.

"It's been weeks Jieun! Can't you just pull yourself together? Can't you see how hard I'm trying, how hard Youngie is trying to cheer you up and make you feel better? All I want is a simple family dinner on my birthday. Is that so difficult? Stop pitying yourself! Nothing is going to change the fact. Can't we just continue living our lives like we used to?" I burst. I know I should have controlled but...

"I'm taking Youngie out. You can continue to self pity if you want." I said. I know I sounded harsh but it could probably work on her. 

"I miss my Princess and Eunyoung misses her Mommy very much." I mumbled before closing the door.

Did you cry? I hope you did! If not, I'll just have to work harder! Sorry if you really cried on Daehyun's birthday. Haha~ One more chapter to go for Daehyun's birthday!

COFFEE SHOP MV IS OUT! :)