Jieun's POV

"Mommy!!" Youngie jumped on the bed, pouncing on me. 

"Yes baby?" I asked, not looking at her.

"What you doing?" She asked.

"It's 'what are you doing' baby." I said as I held on to my phone. I was lying on my bed, looking at photos of us, photos of him on my phone. I miss him a lot, his smile, his presence, his eyerything. I feel like I'm already dead inside. I have never been away from him for so long since we got together again.

"Are you looking at Daddy, Mommy?" She asked, taking my phone from me.

"Do you miss Daddy?" I asked as I cuddled her in my arms. She shook her head.

"Daddy is naughty. Youngie don't like Daddy." She said as she played the games on my phone.

"But he's your Daddy after all..." I said.

"I have a feeling the truth isn't that simple..." I mumbled.

"Huh? Mommy what did you say?" Youngie asked as she stopped her game.

"Nothing." I ruffled her hair.

"Die you ants!!" She shouted as she killed the ants on the screen. I smiled how silly she was.

Daehyun, what are you doing now? There are so many questions I wanna get answers to. Was everything really just a show? Did you ever love me? Did you ever love us? You did right? I felt it... The love, it was genuine right? How can you fake such feelings? 

"Baby what if Daddy didn't mean what he did?" I mumbled again. Youngie wasn't really listening to me though, she was still killing ants on my phone.

"Oppa!!!!! Play with me!!" She shouted as she grabbed my phone and slided down the bed, running out to find Baekhyun, I assumed. I was left alone on my bed again.

The kids slept with me in my room. I think if they didn't, I might just die of loneliness or something. I turned to my side and took the kids' soft toys and hugged them. 

My thoughts ran and I realised something. I contemplated on whether to call Daehyun or not. I really really really missed him. Even if he was going to yell at me, at least I heard his voice right?

Daehyun's POV

I was drinking, again. I didn't know what else I could do to help me forget the pain. I have been doing this ever since I found out I was.... not going to live for long. 

It was about a month or two ago when my world came crashing down on me. I went for check up when my nose started bleeding. Hoping that it was nothing serious but I was wrong. It turned out that I have cancer and that I only have about six months left. I was so lost then. I didn't know what to do all that I know was I don't want Jieun to suffer having to lose me because I know the pain of losing someone. I don't want her to see me getting weaker and weaker. Knowing her, she would not be able to take the blow. Therefore, I did what I had done, to distance her from me, to have her to hate me and leave me, I know it's stupid but I didn't know what else I could do. 

The mini family outing to the park was my last family outing with them. I'm thankful for the memories they have given me. I can't be selfish, I have to let them go. I don't want to hold them back and see them upset. I don't want them to cry when I'm not around. I want them to hate me, I need them to.

I looked at the family portrait hung on my wall, how beautiful they all looked. I looked at my baby princess and thought of her, how awesome and pretty she was at her play. Baby girl, Daddy saw everything. Baekie too, how charming he looks in that prince suit. How could I miss my babies' first show? I didn't want you all to see me though. I had to start working on my plan so I could only watch from afar. I didn't know you would blame Mommy when I didn't turn up. Baby girl, don't hurt Mommy like that again. What am I saying? I'm the one who hurt her the most...

Baby girl, that day when I found out that you punch another classmate, I admit, I was mad and upset and I'm sorry that I was harsh on you without listening to your side of the story. I didn't want you to grow up being a naughty girl. I knew that would probably be the last time I get to teach you and so I was a little more strict with you. I shouldn't have used the cane on you simply because you're Daddy's girl but I had to go on with my plan. I was even more upset and mad with myself when I found out the reason. You didn't deserve those mean words that your classmate said. I'm sorry you had to hear those mean things because of me. 

Then that day when Baekhyun fell sick. I guessed it was really a coincidence that I went home that time and saw them. I felt bad that Jieun didn't even call me to let me know he was sick but I guessed it was better actually, she was probably afraid of me which meant my plan was working. Even though I wanted you to hate me, I didn't need to do it at the expense of Baekie's health. Before you came back, I had already sponged him for you, to bring down his temperature. I only flared at you for the sake of it. I know it's not easy taking care of the both of them but you're doing a really great job at that. I'm sorry that you have to take care of them on your own. 

Princess, are you doing well now? I hope you are. I did this so that you can live on without worrying about me. I hope you'll hate me so you won't feel the pain when I'm not beside you.

I gulpped down my sixth can of alcohol, tears flowing down my face.Even though I had to do it, I would never forgive myself for treating you like trash.

"Hyung?" I called Yongguk hyung on my phone.

"Daehyun? What's up?" He asked.

"Hyung, punch me please. I'll feel better." I said as I ended the call. I didn't really know what I was doing. I guessed I just wanted to lessen the guilt.

My phone then rang. Jieun?

"What?" I answered coldly. She shouldn't even be calling me and I shouldn't even answer her call but I missed her voice.

"Can we talk?" She asked.

"Can you give up?!" I shouted back. 

"I know you still care about us." She said. Of course I do but you don't need to know that.

"Stop your bull." I spat. 

"Then why did you put their soft toys in their luggages?! You know they wouldn't be able to sleep without it! If you didn't care, you would have forgot about their soft toys!!" She shouted back. I know, I wanted them to sleep well.

"What rubbish! I put them in because I don't want to give you a reason for coming back and asking me for it. I don't want to see you. I don't ever want to see you! I said forget me! Stop calling!" I said as I ended the call. Harsh, I know but Darling, it's for the better, forget me please. Move on. 

"Daehyun where are you?" Hyung called again a few minutes later.

"Home." I replied.

"Stay home." He said and ended the call.

About half an hour later, my door bell rang. 

"Daehyun what's going on?" Yongguk hyung and Himchan hyung came and asked me even before I could say anything.

"Punch me. I feel so bad." I said, grabbing onto Himchan hyung's fist. It would be easier for him than Yongguk hyung because Yongguk hyung has a higher level of patience.

"What did you do? What happened?" He asked.

"I chased them away..." I said. Before I knew it, Himchan hyung landed a punch across my cheek, a really hard one. Thank you hyung.

"Why the hell did you do that for?! You have the nicest little family!" He said as he landed another blow on my stomach. I didn't block it and freely accepted.

"I know..." I said as tears slipped down my face. He landed punches at different parts of my body.

"Enough." Yongguk hyung said as he pulled himchan hyung back.

"Reason." Yongguk hyung said. I pretended I didn't know what he was saying.

"What's your reason?!" He grabbed my collar.

"Well?" He asked again, not giving up.

"Dammit! Speak! I know you wouldn't do something like that for no reason!" Hyung shouted.

"Because... Because I have cancer..." I said as I sat down.

"You what?" Himchan hyung asked, not believing while Yongguk hyung released his grip on my collar.

"I don't want them to feel the pain of losing me... Knowing Jieun, she wouldn't take it well. I had to chase them out." I said. I also told them the things I did.

"You're stupid." Himchan hyung scolded.

"I know but I didn't know what else I can do..." I sobbed.

"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DRINKING AND SMOKING?! YOU WANT TO DIE FASTER IS IT?!" Yongguk hyung shouted. I guessed he lost his cool.

"What else can I do? I'm hopeless already. I NEED TO NUMB MYSELF!" I said.

"You're stupid. You're the dumbest person I know. Normal people would want to spend their time with their family and here you are chasing them away." Hyung said.

"Go for treatment!" He said.

"It's no use!" I cried. 

"It's going to be okay." Hyung said, probably for the sake of it. We all knew the outcome of cancer... I'm a goner.

I'm sorry to those who can't continue the story, I would appreciate if you leave quietly instead of telling me. It hurts a little less.
 

Sorry Daehyun for doing that to you. Oops.