Jieun's POV

I entered my house, leaning against the big and cold wooden door. I felt so bad. The fact that I did not remove my palm from his and that I allowed him to hug me already showed that I've accepted him again. From the start of the day, I knew I would go soft on this man. Even if he just brought me out for a walk along the streets in my neighbourhood, I would accept him. But when he wanted to kiss me, I don't know why... I just can't...

I showered and laid on my bed. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep easily. The images of him holding my hands, asking me for a hug and approaching me for a kiss played in my mind. He made me so happy and I felt so blessed to be able to finally be able to spend time with him. And what a way to return his sincerity... I avoided his lips and hurt him... The hurt displayed on his face was undescribable. Even though he tried to hide it from me, he wasn't doing a good job at hiding how hurt he was. No, it's me... I hurt him too deep...

Why am I so mean? Why am I hurting him again? He is your boyfriend for four years for goodness sake! Even during the times when you're not with him, you always thought of him as yours. What's wrong with you Jieun ah!?

The next morning I woke up, I felt like a zombie. I did not have a good sleep. I headed down and saw Seungho oppa scooping out porridge.

"Morning oppa..." I dragged myself towards the table.

"Morning? What morning? It's afternoon already Jieunnie." Oppa said as he placed the bowls on the dining table for the both of us.

"Are you sick?" I asked, poking the porridge with my spoon.

"We don't have to be sick to eat porridge you silly girl. I'm just in for a porridge mood today." Oppa said. Oh well.

"Something wrong?" He asked. I looked up at him and he was looking at my spoon and bowl. I was poking my food instead of eating them.

"It can't be about him because you guys are..Sorry.." Oppa said. 

"We're back.. I guess. I'm not sure too but we're in talking terms already..." I mumbled.

"Oh... So why are you so down?" He asked. I did not want to bother him with my problems but he had that caring face which always makes me want to spill everything out to him.

"Don't tell me he hurt you again." He said.

"No no no! He didn't.." I muttered.

"I... I'm the one that's hurting him now. I don't mean it but I just can't! Why?!" I asked, helpless.

"Why what? What happened? How did you hurt him?" He asked.

"I.... He.... kissed another girl during the period when we broke." I mumbled.

"WHAT?!" Oppa shouted, startling me.

"No no. I mean someone kissed him, by force." I said.

"Even though we're okay, when he attempted to kiss me, I avoided it... I feel so bad oppa but I can't help it! What should I do?" I messed my own hair.

"Take things one step at a time. At least you guys made up. Maybe spend more time with him? Maybe you're just afraid that you would feel awkward after the kiss?" Oppa said. I knew the feeling. I wasn't afraid if it would be awkward... It was another feeling I was afraid to have...

"But I still feel bad!" I pouted.

"Jieunnie~ If you're feeling bad then what about him? Have you tried thinking from his side? What would you feel if you were the one that was being kissed forcefully by another person, not that I'm jinxing you or anything." He asked. I looked away. All I know that Daehyun was hurt.

Then suddenly, I thought of the past. It did happened to me. My own step brother forcefully kissed me. I was lucky that I didn't see the kiss between Daehyun and Yoori but Daehyun, he had to witness the whole scene of another man kissing me.

Jieun ah~ remembered how hurt you were when Daehyun didn't kiss you back then? Didn't call you your pet names? Do you want Daehyun to go through the same thing as you now? You know how it feels so why be so cruel to him? You felt dirty back then but eventually, Daehyun didn't mind about that kiss and still found you pure. So why can't you kiss him back? After all, he was just like you, being forced to kiss someone he doesn't like. It's not his fault. How weird it was, to have this conversation with myself. 

"Ah! Thank you oppa! You're the best!" I got up from my seat and gave him a kiss on his cheek. 

"I didn't know what I do but I'm glad you know what to do. You do know what to do right?" He asked. I nodded as I wanted to run up the stairs to my room.

"Yah! Finish your porridge! Poke poke poke but never eat at all!" He playfully scolded. Oops. I went back to my seat and gobbled down my food. It wasn't hot anymore. I loved how he was always there for me when I needed someone to talk to.

After I was done with my porridge, I called Daehyun.

"Daehyunnie!" I smiled when he answered.

"Yes princess?" He replied. Oh how much I miss him calling me that.

"Want to go out today?" I asked.

"Today? Today I can't... I have urgent things to settle here." He said. I was a little disappointed but no, I am not going to be spoilt.

"It's okay. I'll just drop by okay?" I said.

"But I'm really busy today. I may not have time for you." He said. 

"It's fine. See you later!" I ended the call before he could say anything else.

I headed to the kitchen and decided to bake his favourite cheesecake. I know how much he loves cheesecake but I'm sure he would love it even more if I was the one making it for him. After I was done, I got dressed and headed to find him.

"Daehyunnie!" I wanted to call out but mumbled instead because he was talking to his staff. I found a seat and waited for him to be done. He looks so charming talking so seriously to his staff and before I knew it, I was just staring at him talk. A smile crept up my face.

"Princess, you're here." He said as he approached me.

"Why did you still come? I told you I was busy." He said.

"You don't want me here? I can go." I said as I handed him the cheesecake.

"No no. Don't go. I just don't want to neglect you again." He said. I smiled. It's sweet how the both of us were changing to make this relationship last.

"Eat up." I said.

"You baked this?" He asked excitedly.

"How you know?" I asked.

"Of course I know. Only your cheesecake has that special Jieun taste." He said.

"Sweet talker." I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop myself from smiling. He then fed me some too.

"Why don't you wait for me in my office instead? I'll just settle it then I'll go in?" He asked. I nodded.

"Sorry. I'll be as quick as possible." He said, looking really rushed.

"I'm good, take your time. I can just paint my nails or read a book or something." I said as I sat on his office couch.

"Okay. Love you." He said really quickly before exiting. Why didn't he wait for my reply as well? Oh well. 

I got bored after doing my nails and walked around his office and ended up sitting on his chair. I looked at his workspace. How messy his table was but I didn't bother tidying it up, afraid that he would not be able to find his stuff. I looked and I saw pictures of us seated nicely on his table. The angles were perfect as well. The moment I turned my head towards all the pictures, I was able to see all of them. I took up the one we took when he stole a kiss from me at the last instant before the camera flashed. I looked like a shocked hamster while he looked so good. How unfair. 

"Oh man, I'm really sorry I took so long! I tried to be as quick as possible already." He pouted. I waited for almost four hours and even fell asleep on his table holding on to that picture of us.

I gave him a smile and shook my head.

"You're not mad?" He asked. I wasn't offended by his question though, I would have gotten pissed if it was me in the past but I know now. 

"Nope." I said.

"Aww but I feel bad for having you to wait for me so long. I'll bring you out somewhere to eat dinner?" He asked. I shook my head.

"You don't want?" He asked, sounding sad.

"You're tired too. We'll just eat here." I said.

"Thank you Princess, I'll go and ask the chef to prepare our dinner." He said. I nodded.

We had our dinner in his room.

"I'll send you back." He said and he drove me home.

As usual, he came out of his car and opened the door for me. 

"Do you want to come in?" I asked. But regretted because he looked so tired already.

"Will hyung be okay with it?" He asked.

"He's not home but I'm sure he'll be fine with it. But if you're tired-" He cut me off.

"Sure." He said. I smiled.

We sat on the couch, drinking tea and just enjoying each others' company.

"It's late. Maybe you should go back and rest?" I asked.

"Yeah. Thank you for the cheesecake and tea today! I'm sorry I couldn't accomapny you as much." He said, looking guilty. 

"It's fine. I was the one who insisted on meeting you even though you were busy. I can't blame you right?" I said. He smiled as we walked to the front door. 

"Goodnight." He said, I could tell he was resisting the urge to kiss me. I guess he was afraid of the rejection again.

"Goodnight, drive safe okay. Don't speed." I said as I walked him out.

When he turned away. I grabbed his arms and pulled him in for a kiss and took a photo of it. Now it was him who looked like a  shocked hamster with his eyes wide open while I looked good. He then closed his eyes and enjoyed the kiss. I pulled away when I saw a tear slipped from his eye.

"Are you okay? Don't scare me!" I shook him.

"I'm fine. I'm just overly happy. You don't know how much I yearn for this kiss." He said.

"Aigoo. A crying prince." I teased.

"Sorry~" I apologized.

"Thank you Princess." He said as he kissed me again. We kissed passionately.

"Yah! Give me the photo!" 

Of course she would want to kiss him when he looks so hot.

Ah~ I'm sorry I always take so long to update even though I want to update daily. I'm just tired recently because of graduation! Hmmm.. I'm sorry to those who asked me when I'm updating and when I tell you the rough timing, it's always not met~ Not that I want to though. I really wanted to update at those times but I was either just too sleepy or I needed inspiration. Trust me, I always update at the next possble timing, it's not that I want you guys to wait on purpose. 

Just a little hint, the next few chapters are gonna be somewhat fluffy because I had too many emo stuff for the past few chapters. Unless I decide to change my mind. HAHAHA~

Thank you for reading!