It had been four days, endless long days and you were still a mess. Honestly, you had no idea if this sadness would ever leave you again. It was as if it had rooted itself deeply into your soul and there was nothing you could do to make it stop. Of course, you knew that you couldn’t blame anyone but yourself. It was you who had done this pain to you and even though you knew it was for the best, that didn’t make it any easier. While heaving a deep sigh you locked your phone and laid it back on the small coffee table beside you. The couch was currently your best friend, for multiple reasons. Most of your time you had passed while watching terribly sad movies so you could address your tears to something else than your own misery, but you knew that you couldn’t fool yourself. You couldn’t make yourself forget everything that had happened the past few days. You couldn’t not think back of the look of pure shock and misunderstanding that had been plastered all over his face when you had told him. He hadn’t seen it coming, and actually, neither had you. It hadn’t been a part of the plan, it never had, but drastic times sometimes called for drastic manners. As you reminded yourself of the look on his face when he had spotted your bags standing by the door of your apartment, it was as if your heart broke in to pieces all over again.


Even though you were the one who had left him and you were the one who had broken up with him, you still felt terrible. How was a person supposed to feel while leaving the man you loved more than anymore else in this world? For years, it had been you and him. Not so long ago you had celebrated your three years anniversary and it had all seemed as if nothing had ever changed. It had been as if you had still been teenagers, still blindly in love with each other and not fearing anything of what had been about to come. But now, you knew better. During the past few weeks you had matured more than you had ever done in your entire life. It was as if karma had strikes up to slap you straight across the face, and to remind you that life wasn’t that sweet at all. It was as everything had fallen apart around you and you knew that from now on it would never be the same again. It had all started out as if nothing was wrong. Who doesn’t get sick every once in a while? Thinking it had been a food poisoning or the flu you had stayed home for a few days, hoping that your stomach aches and your sickness would subside. Your boyfriend had taken care of you and had treated you like a princess during the time you had needed him. He had made you breakfast, had come home to check on you during practices, and when he hadn’t been able to he had made sure to stay in contact with you over the phone.


It had only been a few days later, that you had started to get worried. You had still been nauseous and you had continued to feel terrible at the days that followed. Baekhyun had gotten worried and had told you to make an appointment with your doctor, to get a medical check up. He offered you a blood test and you innocently let him do it, thinking it could only be good for you to get a drastic evaluation of your health. Though, as soon as the results had come in, you had never felt as horrible as you had done that day. It was as if someone had pulled the steady ground from underneath your feet. The whole world had been upside down and confusion had overflown you. “Congratulations miss _____________, you’re pregnant.” How could it be that one sentence was able to ruin your life? At first you had been sure that it had been a mistake, you had been on birth control and you couldn’t recall missing a single pill. You hadn’t used a , but who still did that while being in a relationship with someone for three years? You were convinced that he wouldn’t cheat and knowing you had been each other’s first you hadn’t doubted that he was clean. Though, as soon as you had gotten home and you had checked, you had realized that you had been running one day behind. You had forgotten your pill, one single day and now you were going to pay for that for the rest of your life. Panic had torn through you and since you had been ruthless you had desperately called you friend, in tears, yelling to her that she had to help you and she had to fix things. She had come over, had made you some tea and the two of you had talked about the future.


There hadn’t been many things you had known back then, but what you had known was that you couldn’t do this to Baekhyun. He was in the middle of his youth, in the middle of making a true career for himself with exo and you refused to ruin that. You could already hear the rumors, could tell what people were going to say. It would make things so much harder for him and you didn’t want to be the one who destroyed his dreams. The best thing for you was to leave him, make sure that he would never find out and that he would live happily with someone else. The plan had been simple, to make him hate you, to break his heart so harshly that he never wanted to see you again and he would never come looking for your, so he would never find out. Your friend had tried to talk you out of it, telling you that it wasn’t fair to him. He had the right to know, this child was his too and she was sure that he would never let you take care of all of this yourself. The thing was, that you knew this. You knew that if you would tell him about your pregnancy that he wouldn’t think twice about sacrificing himself and everything that was important to him so that he could stay at your si