“I’m just not sure if this is a really good idea.” You mentioned as you flipped the card over and looked at the words written down on it in your own handwriting. You had been at this point for so many times before, but you hadn’t gotten yourself that far that you’d actually do it. Your friend gave you a frustrated look as she pulled the note out of your hands and put it inside of an envelope, before laying it back down in front of you. “This is the perfect opportunity for you to do this. You’ve been waiting to tell him for so long, if you won’t do it know then you never will.” She could be so confronting about this whole situation. You pulled a face at her as she offered you a pen and you took it from her when you realized that she was right. If you wouldn’t do this today then you would probably keep on coming up with excuses and eventually you’d just be too late. Then someone else would be before you or he would fall in love with someone else, and then what were you going to do? It would break your heart to see him with anyone else at this moment, you couldn’t even think about it. You could clearly remember all of the times you had been at this point and you had backed out and jumped back in. “He’ll probably think that I’m crazy.” Was what you said when you wrote his name on the envelope and closed it, feeling the weight written on the card that you were holding inside of your hands. 

If you were going to do this now then there wouldn’t be a way back anymore. If he knew then he knew, and there was no way that you could make him forget again. But the truth was that honestly, you had wanted him to know for such a long time, you just wanted to get rid of this burden that you were carrying around the whole time. But you just hadn’t found the guts to actually go up to him and say it. Maybe some pushing of your friend was exactly what you needed, so that you could finally have it over with. At least then you would know how he felt about this and what he thought, because now you didn’t have a single clue. You had liked Baekhyun for months now, ever since he had joined your class and since he had been transferred to your school. Ever since then you had been keeping your eye on him. It wasn’t like you had never spoken before, you talked to each other on a daily bases but you were still a little bit concerned that you confessing to him would turn out badly. After all you weren’t the regular girly girl, you were more the sportive kind of girl. You loved wearing sneakers and you weren’t the one who liked to wear dresses. Maybe that was why you were afraid that he would shut you down, because maybe you weren’t his type, maybe he didn’t like you kind of girls. Actually that thought was making you more nervous than anything. 

But you were so tired of living with the thought of not knowing if you had a chance or not, so you could better know it if he didn’t want to be with you or not. “Fine, I’ll just send it.” You said as you waited for one of your classmates to come round to pick up all the gifts everyone had bought or made for one other. It must seem stupid because you only had a card for him and nothing else to go along with it, but you had put so much effort in writing this confession to him that you want to give him anything else. You didn’t want him to feel as if you were buying him to like you too just because you were giving him something, you didn’t want to make it even more uncomfortable than it already would be. You had spent say and nights thinking about what to write to him. As soon as you had given your card away you regretted your decision and wished that you could take it back again. What if he would never be able to look you in the eye again and if things would become very awkward between the two of you? Then you wouldn’t even talk to each other anymore and then you would have less of him than you already had now. Then your friendship with him would be over as well. Was this crush seriously worth risking all of this? But when you turned around to ask the girl to return your gift to you, you saw that she had already gathered all of them on the desk, joined by your envelope and that the teacher was already nuzzling through it in order to give them all away. 

A deep blush appeared onto your cheeks as you sank away deeply into your chair, trying to hide yourself from everyone else who was inside of the classroom. Your friend seemed to notice and she bumped you with her elbow into your side, trying to motion that you had to keep your head up, that everything was going to be okay But you weren’t so sure about that anymore. She didn’t have to make such a big issue about it, she wasn’t the one who was about to make the biggest mistake of her high school career. It bothered you that she could stay so calm about this whole thing while your heart was going crazy inside of your chest. The thought that he was about to read your deep feelings for him were making your heart go wild and you had the feeling as you if you had throw up. You tried to calm your racing heart down as you saw that the teacher started giving away the presents and all of a sudden you realized that you had been so busy worrying about this whole thing with Baekhyun that you had forgotten to think about the fact if you were going to get any gifts at all. At this moment you wanted to dig a big hole for yoursel