Your heart was still beating inside of your throat and the palms of your hands were still sweaty. You felt disgusting and as if your body was broken and you were sure that was the case in several places. How stupid you had been, to not watch before you had crossed the street. Though the small guy on the street light had been green and it had given you the sign it was okay for you to move, you should have known that you should have done a double check. But you had been too busy checking your email, knowing that you could get a message from the hospital, with the information if you’d be hired or not. Since you had graduated a few weeks ago you really wanted to start working. You were tired of waiting and sitting around on your the entire time while all your wanted was to use the knowledge you had been trying to achieve for so many years. Now that you finally had your degree in hand, after seven hard years of studying, you weren’t going to let it go to waste. You had had a taste of what it could be like to be a doctor when you had been an intern and you had loved every single minute of it. There was nothing you wanted more than to be walking around in those halls again, treating patients, though this time they would be your own. No one who told you what to do, or how you should handle things. From now on you would be your own kind of doctor.
 

Still, you had applied for a job in the hospital you had been working for months already. It had kind of become your home. The people knew you there, the staff and the patients knew what kind of person you were. That your boyfriend was working there and you’d be able to see him more often was only a big plus point. But what you hadn’t wanted was to enter the hospital in completely different circumstances. Your sight was foggy as they rolled you in, a brace secured around your neck and your neck pressed tightly against a stretcher. You could barely remember anything from what had happened, you just knew that one moment you had been walking and the next one you had been laying on the cold ground. The hit had been harsh and rough, you were sure you had dislocated your shoulder and had a few fractured ribs. Maybe that was the bad part about being a doctor, being able to tell what your own injuries were wasn't actually that great. Right now you wished you didn’t know anything of what was going on, but the thing was that you did, and you knew it wasn’t good. Pain seemed to try and pull you under, yet, the paramedic had surely said something about giving you some morphine on the way over here. It should have kicked in by now and even though you were feeling numb, the pain was still very present. You ignored all the faces that hovered over you, they were too blurry to recognize after all. You wondered if it had been the driver who had hit you who had called an ambulance for you.
 

“Get out of the way!” The rolling had stopped and you could tell you had arrived in one of the trauma rooms where you had treated so many patients before. Now it was your turn, and you surely weren’t pleased. It was terrible that the nurses and your future colleagues had to see you like this. The thought that they were going to do to you what you normally did to other patients made you feel ashamed, but there was nothing you could do about it. You needed their help, you didn’t want to know what would happen to you if they wouldn’t help you. “Hey, open your eyes. Look at me." You recognized that voice immediately, no matter how far you were from the world, you would recognize it anywhere. There was nothing more you wanted to do than obey his wishes, but you couldn’t find the energy to do what he asked from you. Just moving your eyelids seemed like a big task and when you tried you let out a shaky squeak, causing your chest to contract in pain. You hated it that he had seen you like this, that he was taking in the damage that had been done to you. You were his girlfriend, you didn’t want to be any of his patients. Though you knew that since you two were personally involved, he couldn’t be the doctor who treated you. He would hate it to keep his distance from you, especially now that you needed him, but it was what was best for the both of you. “It's all going to be okay. They’re going to take care of you. Just promise me you won’t give up, promise me.” His voice sounded so sad and tortured that you forced yourself to gain all the strength you still had inside of you so that you could squeeze his fingers inside of you. Like a silent promise before the medication finally kicked in and you were able to escape into a painless numbness.

When you woke up your head felt heavy, as if a big weight was pressing it into the pillow underneath it. Somehow you wondered if someone had glued your eyelids together, because no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t seem to tear them open. Your sleep hadn’t been peaceful anymore for quite some time. The strong painkillers had caused you to get nightmares which you hadn’t been able to wake up from. You had been sedated, honestly you still were. It was a good thing that it was helping with the pain, otherwise it wouldn’t have caused you anything else than discomfort. Though you didn’t want to know what you’d feel without them, how broken you would feel. It was probably going to take a long time for you to recover, time you didn’t have. You needed to get to work. You didn’t want to risk the chance that someone else would take over your job. The sound of voices made it unable for you to go back