“I’m not trying to sound like an or anything, but you look like crap ____________.” Your leader said and you couldn’t do anything else than glare at her from where you were seated. It was the only thing you could yourself bring up to do, it didn’t seem as if you had energy for anything else. For weeks you had been preparing for this day, your whole schedules had been planned to make sure that today everything would be perfect and nothing could go wrong, and now that had all been for nothing. Apart from feeling miserable you also felt guilty, because you weren’t only making yourself look bad, you would also make thing harder for your other band mates. They didn’t seem to blame you though, they only seemed worried about you. You could only be grateful that they weren’t giving you a hard time, because you weren’t sure if you’d be able to take that. Everything had been fine, until later this morning when you had started feeling bad. You had been sure that it was just a cold and that it would pass, but now you were not so sure anymore. The problem was that you were the lead vocalist of the group, you couldn’t sing of key and you had the most lines. You were one of the newest bands of SM entertainment, the six of you had formed a band eight months ago. In the beginning it had been exhausting, but by now your body had slowly gotten used to the extreme practices and the rough and long days. During your first concert you had been mortified, filled with stress and adrenaline, tonight you were still nervous, but it was not to the same kind of nervousness as you had felt at that moment. At this moment you were just scared to fail, that you would ruin everything the six of you had worked for for so long. 

One of your members who had joined you on the couch stretched out her hand at you and laid it on top of your forehead. The only thing you could do was let out a sigh and close your eyes, realizing how cool her hand felt against your warm head. It was clear that you had a fever, but you were too stubborn to admit that. Unfortunately her touch didn’t last for long because as soon as her fingers collided with your skin she pulled away, almost as if she had just touched a warm plate and threatened to burn her skin. “God, you’re really hot.” She muttered, her worried eyes gliding over your face as she took you in. Without saying anything you crossed your arms over your chest and leaned back against the couch, your look darkening slightly. “I’ll be fine.” You grumbled, not happy that they were all looking at you as if you were going to drop dead on the spot any second. Surely you didn’t look that bad right? Your make up artist had tried her best to cover up all the signs of your illness, and your skin felt as if it couldn’t breath underneath all those layers of concealer. You had the strong feeling that if you would remove that make up that your head would be as red as a tomato, just because of your body temperature. This was not how things were supposed to you, you were supposed to be all hyper right now, since this was the first award show you were attending and you were actually nominated to win something. The past hours you had been hoping that somehow everything would still change and you would be fine, now you were passing your last minutes by hoping that you wouldn’t loose your voice in the middle of your performance. 

The sound of voices ressounded in your ears and you sank away further into the cushions as the band that just performed came down the stage. Immediately his face jumped out and it was as if you could only see him. The fact that you had such a big crush on him embarrassed you, but you just couldn’t help yourself. Even before you had been an idol yourself you had been admiring him, his voice, his looks, his personality, god you were crazy about him. The two of you had talked a few times before, briefly, because you were under the same record label, but you had never really met. Still, if he would only smile at you or look in your direction you would already blush like a fool and you could only stare at him. But honestly you didn’t want him to see you right now, if you had to believe what your members had to told you then you weren’t looking all too well, and you didn’t want him to see you like this. The boys of EXO were all busy talking to each other as they came towards you, a few of them bowing their heads and walking past you and some of them stopping to make a small talk. They were such nice guys, always there to help you with anything you needed, they were a great example for all of you. The six of you could only hope that one day you would be as successful as they were, that was like your biggest dream. But for now you were only beginners, and the only thing you could try to do was stand out and try to be perfect, which was clearly not working out for you at this moment. “Are you girls ready?” Jongin asked, a smile plastered on his face as he looked at each of you and you quickly looked away when his stare met yours. Hopefully he didn’t know you well enough to realize that something was wrong with you. 

“Yeah, we’re totally ready, just a little bit nervous.” Your visual said while rubbing her hands, she was the real jitterbug between the six of you, she could be so stressed out sometimes, she would infect everyone with it. “There’s not need! We’ve seen you guys practicing yesterday, you are all really good.” Junmyeon said in a reassuring voice, trying to talk some courage into you and to make you feel better. You knew that he did that to his own members as well, he was probably a great leader, though you couldn’t complain about your own. He looked so responsible, and with his hair in his current color you noticed that he looked a little younger, but surely not any less handsome. “Yes, I’m sure you guys are going to smash it! Are you doing okay __________? You look a little bit pale.” From the second that he started talking your heart rate shot up and you couldn’t stop yourself as your eyes gliding towards his face, even though you had told yourself that you shouldn’t look at him. As soon as your gazes met it seemed as if your eyes were locked, and you just couldn’t look away anymore. Of course you were scared that he would think that you weren’t looking good, wasn’t that what all girls secretly worried about if the guy you liked was standing right in front of you? Baekhyun was looking at you with his dark brown eyes, they were slowly studying your face and you wondered what he saw. Since everyone seemed to be waiting for an answer you softly cleared your throat, which caused you to cringe a little. It felt like sandpaper, maybe you had to look for something to drink before you would head onstage. “No, I’m fine, I just have a cold.” You muttered and popped out a smile, but you had to try very hard to keep it there. 

To tell the truth it seemed as if you were feeling worse every second, and you just wished that all of this would be over soon and that you could go home and crawl into your bed with a cup of nice and warm tea. You had no idea if he believed you or not, because he didn’t say anything to it. But his eyes didn’t release you, instead they squeezed a little bit, making you even more nervous about his presence. The thought that he was looking at you made your stomach do backflips, which wasn’t really good, because it was making you feel sick. “Girls, standby please, you’ll be on in a few minutes.” One of the staff workers said and you quickly looked at her so that you had an excu